NFL Week 15: Chris Henry Deathwatch

[CountDeMoney]

I blame the disappearance of the running game.

Yeah, man.  Who's that black dude in the Adrian Peterson uniform these days?

[CountDeMoney]

An interesting theory, posted just for Monkeybutt.

Jay Cutler might be the secret spawn of former Colts quarterback Jeff George.

I'm not even sure this is a joke. Wikipedia tells me George is age 42 and Cutler is 26, so it actually makes sense if you're willing to gloss over some stuff like, oh, DNA testing. They're both from Indiana, and both strong-armed, knuckle-headed, franchise-killing quarterbacks. Bear with me for a second, because I'm going to throw out a theory that's totally made up and 100 percent untrue.

What if, at age 16, a young, cocky, mustachioed Jeff George got a young lady preggers behind an Indiana Tasty Freeze. (If John Cougar Mellancamp songs have taught us anything, it's that short-wearing-hotties in Indiana will hook up with you when you're 16 behind the Tasty Freeze shade tree as long as you can do a credible James Dean impression and you have enough money to buy the chili dogs.) Then, because a love-child would be a disaster for an up-and-coming golden boy athlete like George, Cutler was hidden from George -- sort of like in the Star Wars trilogy, except in this case Darth Vader's kid also has a bad temper and can't read coverages -- so he could go on living his life, never quite figuring out how to make his million dollar arm overcome his 10-cent brain during his NFL career. And then, years later, the son also rises.

That's the best way I can explain it. I'm calling for TMZ to start pushing this story immediately. In all seriousness, Cutler is either the worst good quarterback of his generation, or the best bad quarterback of his generation, just like George. The resemblance has become too much to ignore. At this point, all he needs is a mustache. Even Brian Billick was pointing it out during the broadcast. (The dumb reads, not the lack of mustache.) Cutler has a complete Howitzer for an arm. It's as strong as anyone's in the league. But he throws off his back foot constantly, he makes clueless reads in double and triple coverage, and he has horrendous body language and mechanics.

Everyone who destroyed Josh McDaniels for shopping Cutler the minute he arrived in Denver should probably pen the coach a handwritten apology. All year the Ravens have been getting picked apart by strong-armed quarterbacks, but this was just dreadful. I know Bears fans think the offensive line is partially to blame this year -- and in fairness, they've had a lot of injuries -- and that Cutler's receivers are horrible, but that is just delaying the inevitable reality. His quarterback rating (after going 10-of-27 for 94 yards and three INTs) was 7.9 against the Ravens. Seriously, I don't know exactly how that formula works, but I'm pretty certain they spot you six points just for having your name spelled correctly on the back of your jersey.

[Liep]

Cutler has always been a huge mistake. Getting to the semis with him is quite the achievement though.

[Neil]

Favre is finished.  Just as I said he would be.

[Neil]

Having Billick call the game was great.  BTW, were you one of the people who came up to him while he was broadcasting and thanked him for the Superbowl?

[Ed Anger]

An interesting theory, posted just for Monkeybutt.

Jay Cutler might be the secret spawn of former Colts quarterback Jeff George.

[Neil]

In other news, the Cardinals have ensured that they will not be going back to the Superbowl by signing the worst kicker in NFL history not named Hauschka,

[Ed Anger]

NUGE!

[Barrister]

Cutler has always been a huge mistake. Getting to the semis with him is quite the achievement though.

I don't believe I've ever seen a player score negative points before.

And I remember people laughed when I picked Manning in the first round. 

[katmai]

Alci has 4 point lead on me, but Beeb be ready for the ICE BOWL!

[Barrister]

Alci has 4 point lead on me, but Beeb be ready for the ICE BOWL!

Yeah when I looked at it I remember thinking you were probably going to win after the Monday nighter.

The two teams with the word "Frozen" in their name for the LFFL title. 

[sbr]

In other news, the Cardinals have ensured that they will not be going back to the Superbowl by signing the worst kicker in NFL history not named Hauschka,

Rackers will be back for the play-offs, or will the Nuge curse linger?

[Ed Anger]

In other news, the Cardinals have ensured that they will not be going back to the Superbowl by signing the worst kicker in NFL history not named Hauschka,

Rackers will be back for the play-offs, or will the Nuge curse linger?

Rackers is only supposed to be out a couple of weeks.

Nuge is still awesome though.

[CountDeMoney]

Having Billick call the game was great.  BTW, were you one of the people who came up to him while he was broadcasting and thanked him for the Superbowl?

No, didn't get a chance to see him, but I would have.  He had run his course here and it was time for him to go, but damn, I miss him and his monumental ego.
What other coach would blow kisses to Richard Seymour talking smack on the field?

[Neil]

No, didn't get a chance to see him, but I would have.  He had run his course here and it was time for him to go, but damn, I miss him and his monumental ego.
What other coach would blow kisses to Richard Seymour talking smack on the field?

Don't forget his gift for media relations.

"Coach Billick, what makes you think you can tell all these people how to have their jobs?"

"I have the podium, and you all are here to listen to me. Next question."