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April Fools Day

Started by Ed Anger, March 31, 2009, 06:40:16 PM

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Ed Anger

Have fun everybody. Be sure not to be a sucker tomorrow. Or today, depending upon your timezone.

I'm going to help wrap a car in cellophane. And possibly TP a yard.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

HVC

Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.

Korea

I want my mother fucking points!

PRC


BuddhaRhubarb

Quote from: Ed Anger on March 31, 2009, 06:40:16 PM
Have fun everybody. Be sure not to be a sucker tomorrow. Or today, depending upon your timezone.

I'm going to help wrap a car in cellophane. And possibly TP a yard.

I look fwd to yr Fool's day socks.
:p

Syt

There's been a long debate in Germany about the payments of doctors. Many of them are worried about getting their cash on time or maybe getting less than now and are scared they might not be able to afford their second Porsche.

German morning TV ran an info that starting from today patients would have to pay their treatments cash to the doctors, then get refunded by social security after 6 months. It seemed very realistic (and not very unlikely in the current climate) till they explained that the doctors would also accept services as payment (painting their house), or that people who couldn't afford to go to doctors could go to veterinaries.
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Richard Hakluyt

This story is a transparent fabrication :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7975851.stm

It informs us that the world's leaders are converging on London to meet with Gordon Brown and have tea with the Queen. Nobody is going to fall for that one  :huh:

Syt

Yeah, who wants to meet with Gordon Brown?


Other German hoax news:

YouTube has blocked all music videos for Germany, because they failed to reach an agreement with GEMA (the group responsible for collecting copyright fees on, well, anything really) - very realistic, I'm afraid.

After the premium for old cars ("Trash Premium") of 1500 EUR if you buy a new car, the government plans introducing the same in the health sector, esp. for people needing new teeth.
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Josquius

its a bit naff it ends at midday. No one is awake before then so I can't really do any trickery.
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Delirium

The local paper ran a story on green cars having traffic lights switch to green faster in 2010.

One of the national papers had a story on a vip season ticket on the underground giving access to privileged seats.

Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen, and keep your eyes wide the chance won't come again; but don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin, and there's no telling who that it's naming. For the loser now will be later to win, cause the times they are a-changin'. -- B Dylan

Warspite

I sent this email around work this morning:

Combat Team Baghdad: Counter-Insurgency Wargaming

The [my company], in association with the Dupuy Institute, are proud to present Combat Team Baghdad, the first definitive wargame model of post-2003 operations in Iraq.



Asymmetric warfare and its many facets are extensively modelled in a carefully developed, highly detailed (yet simple to play) rule-set. The simulation will appeal to both the reflective practitioner and casual wargamer alike: while no more than a handful of normal, six-sided dice are required, a whole host of combat variables are integrated into the system. And for the first time in a battalion-level wargame, the political ramifications of each player's actions count towards victory or defeat.


Ambush! A US Stryker Patrol is hit by IEDs on the main road


IED detonations, if successful, lead to morale penalties


As the US Army, call upon air assets of awesome power


Insurgent or innocent? Make the tough calls

The box set includes:
  • A 3 ft x 4 ft game board depicting Baqubah and surrounding areas, Diyala province, Iraq
  • Over 100 plastic counters, including US Army 2nd Infantry Division, Mahdi Army and Sunni Militia formations, as well as supplementary indictors for IED hits, air strikes, suicide bombings and more
  • A detailed rulebook – with novel rules for 'hearts and minds', non-combatants, and embedded journalists
  • Quick reference sheets
  • A scenario book providing a compelling series of challenging missions set in the Surge of 2007.

xxxxx and the Dupuy Institute consulted widely in creating this simulation – key actors in the Iraq campaign including General Petreaus, Lieutenant Colonel Jon Nagl and Iraqi militants themselves. The result is the most authentic simulation of America's counter-insurgency to date.

Combat Team Baghdad is available direct from xxxxx. The boxed set is priced £29.99.




I got several replies saying "good joke", "haha", etc. But then at around 11am, one of my colleagues bursts into my office:

"Do you have a box set yet?"

Thinking he surely knows it was a joke, I played along.

"No, sorry, they are not here from the publisher yet, but you can order."

"Damn, I have General Richards downstairs, I told him about this and he wants to see a copy."

:frusty:
" SIR – I must commend you on some of your recent obituaries. I was delighted to read of the deaths of Foday Sankoh (August 9th), and Uday and Qusay Hussein (July 26th). Do you take requests? "

OVO JE SRBIJA
BUDALO, OVO JE POSTA

Grey Fox

Nice one War.

Blizzards jokes aren't out yet. :(
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

The Great Santini

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on March 31, 2009, 09:52:24 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 31, 2009, 06:40:16 PM
Have fun everybody. Be sure not to be a sucker tomorrow. Or today, depending upon your timezone.

I'm going to help wrap a car in cellophane. And possibly TP a yard.

I look fwd to yr Fool's day socks.

Okay, here is the one sock.


Caliga

0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Scipio

What I speak out of my mouth is the truth.  It burns like fire.
-Jose Canseco

There you go, giving a fuck when it ain't your turn to give a fuck.
-Every cop, The Wire

"It is always good to be known for one's Krapp."
-John Hurt