Yo parents: how to mess up your kids with "good parenting"

[Berkut]

Always refreshing to get some advice from real parenting experts, like Marty.

[Razgovory]

Even if home schooling parents make sure their kids participate in some activities that involve other children, this does not make up for the lack of school-style socialization, because it is both too short (a couple of hours per day, at most) and usually is done with the parent(s) present, thus not allowing the child to get independent of the parents' protection.

News flash: schools have teachers, who are sometimes more controlling than parents.  The few kids I know of that are homeschooled show no problems with socialization-- they seem to get enough socialization through sports, boy scouts, playing with their friends in the afternoon, etc.

The schools where I live are pretty good, so I'd have no incentive to homeschool my kid even if it were a viable option for me.  In other situations, I could see myself doing it.

I knew a guy who was home schooled in grade school.  He was kinda shy but seemed okay.  Was really clever.  Last I heard he was in Japan or something.

[Razgovory]

Always refreshing to get some advice from real parenting experts, like Marty.

Cracked Magazine is more useful.

[grumbler]

This thread delivers! 

[Martinus]

Always refreshing to get some advice from real parenting experts, like Marty.

Always refreshing to see Berkut come in with an ad-hom.

[Eddie Teach]

GUYS, NOT ALL INSULTS ARE AD HOMS.

[Scipio]

GUYS, NOT ALL INSULTS ARE AD HOMS.

You, with your fucking logic and shit!

Just because Marty has no experience rearing children, and will never have children of his own, is no basis to criticize his opinion about rearing children.

[Eddie Teach]

You, with your fucking logic and shit!

Just because Marty has no experience rearing children, and will never have children of his own, is no basis to criticize his opinion about rearing children.

Hehe, an ad hom might not be fallacious in this case, but I don't think Berkut and Martinus were arguing about anything in particular. I was commenting on the recent trend of pot shots, asides and all manner of disparaging remarks being labeled as such.

[Martinus]

GUYS, NOT ALL INSULTS ARE AD HOMS.

You, with your fucking logic and shit!

Just because Marty has no experience rearing children, and will never have children of his own, is no basis to criticize his opinion about rearing children.

I don't think anyone who posts on Languish has actually reared a single child from childhood until adulthood, and as such is able to say what works in the long run. Still, I haven't seen Berkut or you using this ad-hom at anyone else who posted in this thread.

So fuck off.

[merithyn]

I don't think anyone who posts on Languish has actually reared a single child from childhood until adulthood, and as such is able to say what works in the long run. Still, I haven't seen Berkut or you using this ad-hom at anyone else who posted in this thread.

So fuck off.

Mine are nearly adults. At least, the eldest two will be 16 in slightly more than a month. Does that count?

Actually, are my kids the eldest Languishite progeny?

[Martinus]

I don't think anyone who posts on Languish has actually reared a single child from childhood until adulthood, and as such is able to say what works in the long run. Still, I haven't seen Berkut or you using this ad-hom at anyone else who posted in this thread.

So fuck off.

Mine are nearly adults. At least, the eldest two will be 16 in slightly more than a month. Does that count?

Actually, are my kids the eldest Languishite progeny?

So, can you tell us where it did wrong?

[merithyn]

I made it a rule a long time ago not to give out parenting advice unless directly asked a specific question. Too many variances for there ever to be a "one-size fits all" parenting guide. What works for some does not work for others because a parent's personality has as much to do with it as the child's.

I will say, though, that the parent's attitude is really the best way to determine how "capable" a child will end up. You can give your kid a fucked up name and the kid will be just fine so long as everyone has a sense of humor about it. And homeschooling, in the right hands, isn't as bad as I once thought. It's all in how the parents handle it.

[Martinus]

How do you propose to make sure the chid is properly socialized when home-schooled?

I wonder if the fact that so many Americans are egotistical sociopaths (aka "libertarians") compared to, say, Europe, is a result of homeschooling being more popular than it is in Europe (here it is virtually unheard of and in fact would be illegal unless the child has special needs and has a disability preventing him or her from attending classes).

[merithyn]

I said that in the right hands, home-schooling isn't as bad as I first thought it was. I didn't say that I agreed with home-schooling in all its guises, nor that I think it's a perfect alternative to a school-based education. There are those who home-school well. They are far and few between, but they are out there.

One family comes to mind. I've never asked why she home-schools because I'm pretty sure I'd lose respect for her if I knew. (The whys of home-schooling generally irritate me more than the hows.) But she has four kids ranging in age from 18 to seven. They are all pretty bright kids, relatively well-turned out, and just decent folks. They are constantly involved in programs, classes, etc. that give them quite a bit of socialization. In addition, because they are home-schooled and not tied to a regular school day, the kids are able to be more involved in community plays, community projects that require unusual schedules, etc.

They are the exception to most of the other home-schooled kids I've met, but to be fair, most other home-schooled kids I've met were kept at home to avoid socialization, i.e. for religious reasons. (If they're not questioned by outsiders, they won't have to worry about questioning their beliefs themselves.)

Is it because, as Americans, we're more narcissistic than Europeans? Possibly. Might also be that because we're Americans we're more likely to accept thinking outside the box, or in this case, the classroom.

[Eddie Teach]

There's really no reason to attribute home schooling to some national quirk, it's still pretty rare.