Brazen's paradise

[Monoriu]

Morioka, capital of competitive soba eating in Japan.  Every Japanese town and city has a train station, and you can figure out what the local specialties are by seeing what kind of products/shops are near the station.  In Morioka, lines of soba shops greeted me as soon as I exited the station.

The great thing about Morioka is that you can just walk into any soba shop and demand to eat soba competitively, any time.  No need to wait for someone to organize an event, and no need to wait for competitors to appear.

Japanese is all about conformity.  The hostess immediately handed me an English pamphlet as soon as she figured out that I didn't speak Japanese.  It explained how "the game" was played.  Morioka, which was near the north-eastern tip of Honshu, had poor soil.  So poor, that they could only grow buckwheat there.

Participants would hold a bowl.  A waitress would bring dozens of red bowls, each containing a mouthful of soba.  A rule of thumb was that 15 such mouthfuls were about equivalent to a "normal" bowl of soba.  She would empty one red bowl of soba into your bowl, and then say some words of encouragement in Japanese (actually trying to hurry you up).  As soon as you finish, she would pour another bowl of soba into your bowl.  Until you surrender.  The number of empty red bowls on your table is your score.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6K0E1EobWo

By Morioka standards, this Caucausian is going very slowly.  Accoding to the pamphlet, the record is 500+ red bowls.  As far as I could see, few people could go past 100. Some tips that could help you include (a) don't chew and (b) don't drink the soup (you only need to finish the soba).

It was fun to watch, but my stomach had better things to do than digesting a few dozen bowls of soba 

[Josquius]

Sounds expensive.

[BuddhaRhubarb]

I love a good soba. there used to be a great buckwheat iced tea that I used to drink all the time. there. If you think there are too many kinds of snapple, go to Japan. they have snapple and like 40 other brands.

[Monoriu]

Japanese onsen hotels are curious affairs.  Onsen means hotspring, which is absolutely beloved by the Japanese.  So they built lots of hotels in areas with hotsprings for visitors from all over Japan. 

The thing is, they only expect Japanese go to there.  No one speaks English, and I blame Buddha for this.  I've absolutely no idea how my wife managed to book them.  Apparently the Japanese are better at reading/writing English than speaking. 

Some of these hotels are operated by large groups, some by a family.  Some are western style, some are fusion (Japanese decor with a western style modern bed), and some are very traditional Japanese style (guests sleep on tatami, basically on the floor).  The one we stayed at near Morioka is family operated and is 100% Japanese style.  Similar to this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IvSSnIeh3c&feature=PlayList&p=0EA3621AEAEFDA61&index=2

We were greeted by a middle-aged woman who destroyed my previous understanding of onsen hotels by speaking very good English.  Her attire and demeanor made it apparent that she called the shots in that hotel.  She then introduced us to a super hot and young Japanese serving girl dressed in a kimono.  She was like an anime character came true - dyed hair with multiple colours, eyes the size of ping-pong balls.  She smiled at us brightly at all times, was overall very cute and lovely.   Often a little nervous but she was nevertheless enthusiastic and eager to please. 

The boss then appointed the girl as our dedicated server during our stay, although the boss said she couldn't speak a word of English.  To be honest, I had absolutely no problem with that.  None at all.

Her first task was to introduce the room to us.  She would cheerfully say her lines in Japanese as if we were locals, and then use every conceivable method to translate what she just said to us - paper and pencil (Japanese use a lot of Chinese characters), electronic translator, body language, etc etc.  She painstakingly explained the proper procedures of using the hotsprings, which we had no intention of using 

[Monoriu]

The hotspring is only one half of the reason why Japanese go to onsen hotels.  The other half is because of the food.  Which, of course, is our chief reason of staying there.

The price of staying at onsen hotels almost always include dinner and breakfast.  There maybe several restaurants at the largest onsen hotels for guests to choose from.  But at the small ones, guests can only eat what is served. 

Now, I have to say, the number of Japanese restaurants that I've tried in my whole life is most likely at least several hundred.  The quality of the food that this tiny place in the middle of nowhere served?  Easily in the top five.  The Japanese girl brought each of the dozen or so courses to our room.  We just sat there and the food flowed for 3 hours.  Each course consisted of several items beautifully presented and done.  It was amazing because the dinner was at its core endless varieties of veggies, beans, pickles, fish, and rice.  That's all they used but the creativity and attention to detail displayed was unparalleled.  We sampled food prepared with almost every cooking technique available - deep fried, stir-fried, baked, simmered, boiled, steamed, raw, hotpot, cold, warm, hot, you name it. 

The last straw?  I was 100% full when I finished.  Two hours later my stomach returned to a perfectly comfortable and balanced status.  They rule.  :worship:

[Brazen]

Competitive eating is soooo three years ago But the food does sound yummy

Though I'd have though most people looking for a novelty hotel in Japan would have gone to a love motel, where my English friend made his Japanese wife take his for a laugh

[Admiral Yi]

Mono has a sex drive! 

[lustindarkness]

No pics of the girl? You suck.

[Ed Anger]

I though about doing one of those food challenges restaurants have, but I don't want to puke in front of everybody.

[Barrister]

Mono has a sex drive! 

You don't need to talk about sex all the time in order to have a sex drive.

[Monoriu]

When I drove to the hotel, I tried to park at the parking lot, only to be stopped by a male staff.  From his body gesture, I figured that I should not have done that.  I should've just dumped the car right at the hotel lobby, and given him the keys.  It took some courage to hand over the keys to a complete stranger.  By I figured that there was no harm in him parking the car for me, then giving the key back to me.

It took a whole leap of faith however to swollow the fact that he put the keys in a large glass display box right at the lobby entrance, in plain view, with no intention of returning it.  Throughout the evening, I took a few walks to the lobby just to make sure that the key was still there. 

I was pleasantly surprised to find that all the keys had been removed in the morning.  Finally, they showed some sense in keeping the keys at a safe place at night.  60 seconds later I found out what the safe place was.  The car had been moved from the parking lot to the hotel entrance, in the most convenient spot for the guest.  So that I needed not walk the 30 metres to the parking lot. 

One look at the car and I knew what happened.  Yes, they also placed the key right at *the* most convenient spot for the guest  

As I drove past the line of 5 or 6 smiling staff who bowed as I left, I kept wondering how I was supposed to explain to the car rental company if someone stole the car at night. I then decided to focus my thoughts on the food and the girl instead.  Yes, the breakfast was so good that it swept away all my previous misconceptions about Japanese breakfast.

[Malthus]

Hey, have any pics of this Japanese resort?

[PDH]

Maybe the staff is all ninjas. Nobody would steal a car from a place owned by ninjas.

[Syt]

Maybe the staff is all ninjas. Nobody would steal a car from a place owned by ninjas.

A pirate would! 

[Monoriu]

Hey, have any pics of this Japanese resort?

http://www.shikitei.jp/s_kannai.html

It's not really a "resort".  There are no gyms, no bars, no swimming pools, no beaches, and not much in views.