Converting to Judaism in ancient times

[Razgovory]

As I've stated previously, Mormonism is to Christianty what the Nation of Islam is to Islam.  The two belong in their own category rather than in the Abrahamic tree.

Hey, I stated that!

[HVC]

Hmm, so if i become a Mormon i can rule my own solar system? That's better then this whole after life of light and no fun that real christians got going. How good a mormon do i have to be to become a god?

[Queequeg]

As I've stated previously, Mormonism is to Christianty what the Nation of Islam is to Islam.  The two belong in their own category rather than in the Abrahamic tree.

Hey, I stated that!

I've said it a bunch of times.   I remember thinking that when I first started reading about the NoI after seeing Malcom X for the first time. 

[Queequeg]

Hmm, so if i become a Mormon i can rule my own solar system? That's better then this whole after life of light and no fun that real christians got going. How good a mormon do i have to be to become a god?

Convert now, don't ever drink coffee, alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, go on a mission ASAP, get married right after that (and never have sex outside of marriage), get sealed in the temple (meaning you are with her and your kids for eternity), go to Church every Sunday and work pro-bono for hours of your life, give 10% of your income pre-taxes to the Church and give occasional donations, and raise all your children as good Mormons. 

[Razgovory]

As I've stated previously, Mormonism is to Christianty what the Nation of Islam is to Islam.  The two belong in their own category rather than in the Abrahamic tree.

Hey, I stated that!

I've said it a bunch of times.   I remember thinking that when I first started reading about the NoI after seeing Malcom X for the first time.

Well it's an apt comparison. 

[HVC]

Hmm, so if i become a Mormon i can rule my own solar system? That's better then this whole after life of light and no fun that real christians got going. How good a mormon do i have to be to become a god?

Convert now, don't ever drink coffee, alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, go on a mission ASAP, get married right after that (and never have sex outside of marriage), get sealed in the temple (meaning you are with her and your kids for eternity), go to Church every Sunday and work pro-bono for hours of your life, give 10% of your income pre-taxes to the Church and give occasional donations, and raise all your children as good Mormons. 

Is there a lazy mormons solar system? like one where i can't create intellegent life but i can still rule over nature?

[Queequeg]

Hmm, so if i become a Mormon i can rule my own solar system? That's better then this whole after life of light and no fun that real christians got going. How good a mormon do i have to be to become a god?

Convert now, don't ever drink coffee, alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, go on a mission ASAP, get married right after that (and never have sex outside of marriage), get sealed in the temple (meaning you are with her and your kids for eternity), go to Church every Sunday and work pro-bono for hours of your life, give 10% of your income pre-taxes to the Church and give occasional donations, and raise all your children as good Mormons. 

Is there a lazy mormons solar system? like one where i can't create intellegent life but i can still rule over nature?

Just go to the TElestial (a word Smith made up) and play Spore or SimEarth.

[Ed Anger]

alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs

yay! I'm a Mormon! Give me 10 wives now.

[Queequeg]

alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs

yay! I'm a Mormon! Give me 10 wives now.

Coffee?  I think you'd probably have to give up all caffinated drinks, tea, coke, etc...

[Ed Anger]

alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs

yay! I'm a Mormon! Give me 10 wives now.

Coffee?  I think you'd probably have to give up all caffinated drinks, tea, coke, etc...

Coffee sucks. Tea is for English faeries. And I'd cheat with Dr. pepper, that saucy bitch is mine. 

[Admiral Yi]

Convert now, don't ever drink coffee, alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, go on a mission ASAP, get married right after that (and never have sex outside of marriage), get sealed in the temple (meaning you are with her and your kids for eternity), go to Church every Sunday and work pro-bono for hours of your life, give 10% of your income pre-taxes to the Church and give occasional donations, and raise all your children as good Mormons.

Are the Mystical Briefs optional?

[Queequeg]

Convert now, don't ever drink coffee, alcohol, don't smoke or do drugs, go on a mission ASAP, get married right after that (and never have sex outside of marriage), get sealed in the temple (meaning you are with her and your kids for eternity), go to Church every Sunday and work pro-bono for hours of your life, give 10% of your income pre-taxes to the Church and give occasional donations, and raise all your children as good Mormons.

Are the Mystical Briefs optional?

No, I forgot about those.  I've never worn them.  My loins are like Ali's face: untouched by pagan religious rites.   

[Caliga]

...

Perhaps because my statement is 100% accurate?  Christology is the nature/essence of Christ vs. God.  It has nothing to do with any apocryphal myths about what Jesus did in North America or any lost tribes or anything like that.

Has everything to do with Christology.  Traditional Mormon beliefs are that Jesus
A) is the result of a physical union between God and Mary.  As in humping and cumming and whatnot. Not true of any other Christian or even Muslim sect.
B) Jesus was Jehova in the Old Testament, while God is Yahweh.  So it is non-Monotheistic from the outset.
C) That people can become like Jesus, and become Jesus-like regents of their own planets. 

Let's look at Mormonism's other greatest inverted-Christian hits:
A) God isn't the creator of the Universe, he is from Kolob, he just created our solar system
B) The most important, oldest Mormon prayers all ask for material power, and expect to be rewarded with Godhood or near-Godhood in the next life.  Compare this with the oldest Christian prayers: all redemption and "THINE is the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory".   Christianity and Islam (for the most part on the last one) focus on servitude of God, Mormons focus upon their own wealth and success in the next world. 
C) Mormonism has consciously adopted the imagery of pre-Monotheistic Levantine religions, including Sun iconography and the spiritual importance of Bulls (hence the fountain).

As I've stated previously, Mormonism is to Christianty what the Nation of Islam is to Islam.  The two belong in their own category rather than in the Abrahamic tree.  I think the same might be true of Rastafarianism, but I'm not sure.  For some reason, America fermented some insane new faiths.

Spellus, these particular items are not germane to Christological discussion.  Here, this might help:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d8/Christology_Flowchart.PNG

I don't know why I'm continuing to debate this with you.  You have personal reasons for hating the Mormons because you have meanie relatives who are Mormon or something.  I don't know, maybe Great Uncle Brigham pulled your magic undies down and came in your asscrack one night.  Anyway, it's like you have a vendetta against the Mormons and your posts are just trying to justify this.  Therefore, no amount of defending them is going to get through to you.

In responding to your post (and keep in mind I don't know how our levels of knowledge about the LDS Church compare) point by point:

A) True, and true to the best of my knowledge.

B) Since the Mormons use the Bible unabridged to the best of my knowledge, along with the apocryphal Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and two other things whose names escape me right now, I don't know how this can be true.

C) True, and true.

A) True.

B) Not sure if this is true re: the oldest Mormon prayers (and unsure how you can know this as the early Church was rather secretive about its rites and still leans heavily on revealed truth).  The "rewarded with Godhood" thing IS true for sure, though.

C) Never heard this before.... and one picture of a font decorated with a bull motif doesn't prove anything.  Notre Dame is adorned with thousands of gargoyles yet I do not see people accusing the Catholic Church of worshipping them.

...and as I've stated already, this is all tangential.  The Mormons reject the Nicene Creed.  That alone makes them "non-Christian" in the eyes of most mainstream denominations.  But, personally, I don't care... the LDS Church claims it is Christian and is in fact the only true form of the faith (like many modern reconstructionist denominations).  I don't see how you know that they are wrong and you are right.  I mean, they believe in modern prophecy and feel that their Prophet speaks directly to God.  What if they are correct?  How can you prove they are not?  Absence of evidence ain't proof of absence.

No, wait... I know the answer to that.  They're not correct because RELIGION IS A BUNCH OF NONSENSICAL BULLSHIT.    Due to this fact, I don't care what they call themselves.  You want to be Christian?  Fine, you're Christian.  You want to be 'Black Muslims'?  Fine, you're Black Muslims.  Since none of it is true, it is all equally meaningless in my eyes.

I just don't get why anyone cares.  I don't particularly hate the LDS Church... I see it as no better or worse than any other church.

[Neil]

...

Perhaps because my statement is 100% accurate?  Christology is the nature/essence of Christ vs. God.  It has nothing to do with any apocryphal myths about what Jesus did in North America or any lost tribes or anything like that.

Has everything to do with Christology.  Traditional Mormon beliefs are that Jesus
A) is the result of a physical union between God and Mary.  As in humping and cumming and whatnot. Not true of any other Christian or even Muslim sect.
B) Jesus was Jehova in the Old Testament, while God is Yahweh.  So it is non-Monotheistic from the outset.
C) That people can become like Jesus, and become Jesus-like regents of their own planets. 

Let's look at Mormonism's other greatest inverted-Christian hits:
A) God isn't the creator of the Universe, he is from Kolob, he just created our solar system
B) The most important, oldest Mormon prayers all ask for material power, and expect to be rewarded with Godhood or near-Godhood in the next life.  Compare this with the oldest Christian prayers: all redemption and "THINE is the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory".   Christianity and Islam (for the most part on the last one) focus on servitude of God, Mormons focus upon their own wealth and success in the next world. 
C) Mormonism has consciously adopted the imagery of pre-Monotheistic Levantine religions, including Sun iconography and the spiritual importance of Bulls (hence the fountain).

As I've stated previously, Mormonism is to Christianty what the Nation of Islam is to Islam.  The two belong in their own category rather than in the Abrahamic tree.  I think the same might be true of Rastafarianism, but I'm not sure.  For some reason, America fermented some insane new faiths.

None of this is any more ridiculous than believing that Jesus of Nazereth is the son of god.

[Eddie Teach]

None of this is any more ridiculous than believing that Jesus of Nazereth is the son of god.

That's irrelevant.