Society Gets More Progressive Because People Die

[Malthus]

As for polyamory of the 'many partners all living together' type, I'm amazed anyone has the energy for such relationships. I can barely keep up with one person's issues, wants, etc. let alone two or more. It would be like when my friends were all living in communal houses, only with (even) more possibility for drama, because sex and love is thrown into the mix; and they all hated that, and left as soon as they could afford to, for venues with more privacy and less drama.   

As a tangent, reminds me of a neighbour of mine, a guy who worked hard as some sort of sales person. He had a lovely wife and a baby son. One day the wife and son packed up and were gone: they discovered the guy had a whole second family, complete with another baby by another woman, at the same time.

I had a kid and t damn near killed me; here's a guy who had two at once, and dealt with the secrecy of it into the bargain! All while working full time. I didn't admire his betrayals, but I sure wondered at his energy. 

[The Minsky Moment]

As for polyamory of the 'many partners all living together' type, I'm amazed anyone has the energy for such relationships. I can barely keep up with one person's issues, wants, etc. let alone two or more.

This.

There is another word for polyamory in the US.  It's called "college".  All fine if you have that kind of spare time.

[Tamas]

Sheilbh: Open relationships are a subset of polyamory (which includes a wide range of relationship models).

Ok then when you discuss polyamory you need to be more specific as to what you are talking about. Because I instantly thought we are talking about some kind communal living with multiple partners.

Polyamory means the person less emotionally invested in the relationship is sleeping around and the other person pretends this doesn't hurt them, and is OK.

[Valmy]

Ok got it that some of us are not fans.

I kind of agree with the notion it can be overwhelming. I mean just dealing with multiple roommates can be a pain in the ass much less multiple partners. But I am sure for some people that is not a problem at all. But that is one of the reasons I don't find it very appealing.

[Solmyr]

Fuck off Tamas.

And as for dealing with multiple relationships, I means many people have and deal with multiple kids. Having multiple loved partners isn't much different, except usually easier because they are adults.

[Valmy]

except usually easier because they are adults.

Heh. I am not going to say that kids are super easy but they are less complicated than adults...for the first 13 years or so. If you are implying it is not much different than having multiple teenage children well then 

Also it is helpful that I have known my kids their entire lives.

But yes I also thought about that comparison. After all six people live in my house (well five in addition to me) and I have to manage relationships with all of them. However I don't know...once sex enters things it has a tendency to make it messier.

[Valmy]

And obviously polyamorous relationships function just fine, because they have for thousands of years.

But I always looked at those Ottoman Sultans with all their wives and different kids with different women and just though "man...better you than me buddy"

[Eddie Teach]

The sultan wasn't expected to take an active part in child-raising though.

[Malthus]

Fuck off Tamas.

And as for dealing with multiple relationships, I means many people have and deal with multiple kids. Having multiple loved partners isn't much different, except usually easier because they are adults.

A parent is in a power arrangement with their kids though: they can literally and legally order them around, make decisions on their behalf, and run their lives (at least until they get old enough). 

I suppose such an arrangement can work with sexual/romantic partners - as in most traditional societies which practice this. 

So I'm not sure this is the best analogy for the topic ... 

[Malthus]

And obviously polyamorous relationships function just fine, because they have for thousands of years.

But I always looked at those Ottoman Sultans with all their wives and different kids with different women and just though "man...better you than me buddy"

The Sultan's form of relationship may not have worked quite so "fine" if each of the Sultan's wives had the same rights as the Sultan, though. 

[The Brain]

How common is polyarmory in the US?

[viper37]

Polyamory is fine and has been practiced forever. It is just not something I have any interest in. I am sure I could manage just fine in polyamory if I was coerced into it I guess.

I just prefer a very intimate partnership though.

It's not about what we individually think of it, it's about what society is willing to accept in general.
There's just not enough people willing to accept it for themselves for it to evolve into something like gay marriage, where societies will rule on it, adjust fiscal priviledges and family law to account for it.

That, I just don't see it happenning at any time in an organized human society.  A tribe could practice poly amory along a finite number of people.  Or a chief/Sultan/Cheik could have multiple wives where his family duties extend only to sex.  But multiple sexual and love partners with multiple kids from each is a whole different beast.

Again, I do no think it is a coincidence that most organized religion seems to prohibit women fooling around for sex.

That we accept it individually is one thing, that society evolves towards this is another.  No one here (hopefully?  ) would want adulterous women to be stoned.  But not many people here would want its government to legiferate on it, make it "legal" and allow people to marry more than one partner, to claim child benefits for children not living with the actual parent, to recognize parental rights for more than two parents, etc, etc.  And that compounds to our societies: people will close their eyes and not be too bothered, but for society to accepts something as "normal", as gay relationships are in most occidental countries means the State has to legiferate on all the family and fiscal issues.

[Razgovory]

Why is Polyamory "progressive"?

[Sheilbh]

I don't think it is, but tolerance of different types of relationship probably is?

[Solmyr]

Polyamory is fine and has been practiced forever. It is just not something I have any interest in. I am sure I could manage just fine in polyamory if I was coerced into it I guess.

I just prefer a very intimate partnership though.

It's not about what we individually think of it, it's about what society is willing to accept in general.
There's just not enough people willing to accept it for themselves for it to evolve into something like gay marriage, where societies will rule on it, adjust fiscal priviledges and family law to account for it.

That, I just don't see it happenning at any time in an organized human society.  A tribe could practice poly amory along a finite number of people.  Or a chief/Sultan/Cheik could have multiple wives where his family duties extend only to sex.  But multiple sexual and love partners with multiple kids from each is a whole different beast.

Again, I do no think it is a coincidence that most organized religion seems to prohibit women fooling around for sex.

That we accept it individually is one thing, that society evolves towards this is another.  No one here (hopefully?  ) would want adulterous women to be stoned.  But not many people here would want its government to legiferate on it, make it "legal" and allow people to marry more than one partner, to claim child benefits for children not living with the actual parent, to recognize parental rights for more than two parents, etc, etc.  And that compounds to our societies: people will close their eyes and not be too bothered, but for society to accepts something as "normal", as gay relationships are in most occidental countries means the State has to legiferate on all the family and fiscal issues.

All of what you wrote there could have been said about gay marriage and relationships 70 years ago. Nobody then would have thought that society would ever accept them. Yet it increasingly has done so. These days, polyamory is getting more and more accepted among young people, so I don't think it's unreasonable to expect it becoming more widely accepted in the future.