Society Gets More Progressive Because People Die

[Solmyr]

Jealousy will be seen as "petit bourgeois" and retrograde.

I have doubts about that.  Human nature plays a lot here.  Of course, there are people who have zero jealousy and are willing to accept that.  But in any kind of relationship, there will be a favorite among others.  A First among Equals... Men who marry multiple wives often have one favourite they bed more often than the others, for a time.  Usually, these wives are conditionned from birth to accept this.   

Sometimes it does not, but it ain't a "natural order".  People aren't programmed to accept polygamy just like that.  Even a man cheating on his spouse multiple times would frown upon his wife doing the same.  What we see are often younger people experimenting with life, doing it for a time, then settling down in monogamous relationships.  There's no strong social pressure in most occidental countries to live 1-1 in an heterosexual relationship and practicing abstinence until marriage...  Yet, people, are naturally evolving, over their life, toward this model.

I don't think it's a coincidence that most religions preach monogamy for women but are either silent or accepting of men's polygamy.  Most likely, in our distant pasts, jealousy arose, leading to vendettas, wars, etc, and some philosophers/preachers sought to end that by enforcing monogamy, either via religious laws, or via social norms, like the Romans.

Jealousy is a natural emotion and not in itself bad. It just needs to be faced and managed properly. And traditionally, men are not taught to manage their emotions. This is something that will need to change in the future, as men no longer retain their privilege as leaders of society. They will have to learn to deal with their emotions without going berserk, to accept that women have the same rights in sexuality and relationships as them, etc. There will be backlash (as we are already seeing the rage against feminism, MeToo, etc.), but ultimately this change needs to happen for a better, more emotionally mature society and relationship models.

Speaking from experience as a person practicing polyamory myself.

[viper37]

There is nothing wrong with polyamory or any kind of non traditional relationship.  I just can't imagine it on a large scale, I can not see any kind of emotional maturity about this on a grand scale.

[Valmy]

Polyamory is fine and has been practiced forever. It is just not something I have any interest in. I am sure I could manage just fine in polyamory if I was coerced into it I guess.

I just prefer a very intimate partnership though.

[Sheilbh]

I always come across as very judgmental/full boomer because I just wonder what's wrong with a good, old-fashioned open relationship

[Malthus]

I suspect you will see some acceptance of that as a lifestyle, together with considerable, ongoing skepticism as to whether its practitioners are truly embracing a new lifestyle that frees individuals from the shackles of tradition, or whether one of the partners has simply pulled the wool over the eyes of the others - that is, that the relationship is not truly balanced in power dynamics, that one partner is enjoying the benefits while the others are merely putting up with it, while being fed a line about how this demonstrates their superior emotional maturity etc.

[Admiral Yi]

I'm not convinced that sexual jealousy is an innate human emotion.

[Maximus]

Polyamory is fine and has been practiced forever. It is just not something I have any interest in. I am sure I could manage just fine in polyamory if I was coerced into it I guess.

I just prefer a very intimate partnership though.

Those aren't mutually exclusive though.

[Maximus]

I always come across as very judgmental/full boomer because I just wonder what's wrong with a good, old-fashioned open relationship

Those are different things though. For different people with different needs.

[Valmy]

Polyamory is fine and has been practiced forever. It is just not something I have any interest in. I am sure I could manage just fine in polyamory if I was coerced into it I guess.

I just prefer a very intimate partnership though.

Those aren't mutually exclusive though.

I see that. I phrased it badly.

[ulmont]

I suspect you will see some acceptance of that as a lifestyle, together with considerable, ongoing skepticism as to whether its practitioners are truly embracing a new lifestyle that frees individuals from the shackles of tradition, or whether one of the partners has simply pulled the wool over the eyes of the others - that is, that the relationship is not truly balanced in power dynamics, that one partner is enjoying the benefits while the others are merely putting up with it, while being fed a line about how this demonstrates their superior emotional maturity etc.

Admittedly most of the examples I recall seeing were while I was in my 20s, but I only seemed to see unbalanced power polyamorous relationships / open relationships.  That has left a jaundiced opinion.

[Solmyr]

I suspect you will see some acceptance of that as a lifestyle, together with considerable, ongoing skepticism as to whether its practitioners are truly embracing a new lifestyle that frees individuals from the shackles of tradition, or whether one of the partners has simply pulled the wool over the eyes of the others - that is, that the relationship is not truly balanced in power dynamics, that one partner is enjoying the benefits while the others are merely putting up with it, while being fed a line about how this demonstrates their superior emotional maturity etc.

Admittedly most of the examples I recall seeing were while I was in my 20s, but I only seemed to see unbalanced power polyamorous relationships / open relationships.  That has left a jaundiced opinion.

You will have assholes doing asshole things in any kind of relationship. That is not exclusive to polyamory.

Sheilbh: Open relationships are a subset of polyamory (which includes a wide range of relationship models).

[Legbiter]

I suspect you will see some acceptance of that as a lifestyle, together with considerable, ongoing skepticism as to whether its practitioners are truly embracing a new lifestyle that frees individuals from the shackles of tradition, or whether one of the partners has simply pulled the wool over the eyes of the others - that is, that the relationship is not truly balanced in power dynamics, that one partner is enjoying the benefits while the others are merely putting up with it, while being fed a line about how this demonstrates their superior emotional maturity etc.

Making virtue out of necessity, yeah.

[Maximus]

I suspect you will see some acceptance of that as a lifestyle, together with considerable, ongoing skepticism as to whether its practitioners are truly embracing a new lifestyle that frees individuals from the shackles of tradition, or whether one of the partners has simply pulled the wool over the eyes of the others - that is, that the relationship is not truly balanced in power dynamics, that one partner is enjoying the benefits while the others are merely putting up with it, while being fed a line about how this demonstrates their superior emotional maturity etc.

Admittedly most of the examples I recall seeing were while I was in my 20s, but I only seemed to see unbalanced power polyamorous relationships / open relationships.  That has left a jaundiced opinion.

It's not like monogamous relationships are never unbalanced.

[Valmy]

It's not like monogamous relationships are never unbalanced.

Did he say they weren't?

[Valmy]

Sheilbh: Open relationships are a subset of polyamory (which includes a wide range of relationship models).

Ok then when you discuss polyamory you need to be more specific as to what you are talking about. Because I instantly thought we are talking about some kind communal living with multiple partners.