An actual email that came to our office today

[Josephus]

Hello I AM Daniel Charlemagne the Jewish Messiah and my purpose is to inform you that I am aware of everything that is going on around the world and soon I will make my public appearance and together we can stop this nonsense for once and for all ! I have been on planet earth now for 33 years and sincerely I am disgusted with the way the mindset of the human race is so deluded in purpose by the authorities and that has to improve, I mean there are so many ways to be happy and somehow we put a price tag on happiness when it was supposed to be a major accomplishment by everyone but they decide to trade it for unworthy things so no wonder why everything seem chaotic . Love and peace can rule the whole planet earth and through GODs light WE will make it happen!
SHALOM

[Tamas]

Unless it has been sent to all e-mail accounts of the world, it is fake.

[HVC]

new messiah huh? I know how this goes, i'll go get the crucifix ready just in case

[Agelastus]

"God is my Judge Man the Great" or "God is my Judge Warrior the Great" eh?

Also, judging by the email, I feel he is not quite my cup of tea as a potential messiah.

[Malthus]

In Jerusalem there is an entire mental hospital full of people who declare themselves the messiah - I've often thought it would be hilarious if the real one appeared, and was put in there with all the others!

[Grinning_Colossus]

In Jerusalem there is an entire mental hospital full of people who declare themselves the messiah - I've often thought it would be hilarious if the real one appeared, and was put in there with all the others!

Dostoevsky did it first.

[Josquius]

He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy?

[Josephus]

new messiah huh? I know how this goes, i'll go get the crucifix ready just in case

Jewish Messiah, dude. Unless you plan on nailing him, crucifixes not necessary

[Josephus]

In Jerusalem there is an entire mental hospital full of people who declare themselves the messiah - I've often thought it would be hilarious if the real one appeared, and was put in there with all the others!

Dostoevsky did it first.

the legend of the grand inquisitor?

[HVC]

new messiah huh? I know how this goes, i'll go get the crucifix ready just in case

Jewish Messiah, dude. Unless you plan on nailing him, crucifixes not necessary

Jesus started off as a jewish messiah too. not his fault some greeks and romans decided to shake things up

[Malthus]

new messiah huh? I know how this goes, i'll go get the crucifix ready just in case

Jewish Messiah, dude. Unless you plan on nailing him, crucifixes not necessary

Christianity completely buggered up the messiah notion. I want a king who goes around rescuing people, dagnabit! Not some hippy crap about love and redemption. 

[The Brain]

In Jerusalem there is an entire mental hospital full of people who declare themselves the messiah - I've often thought it would be hilarious if the real one appeared, and was put in there with all the others!

is it the messiah complex

[Josephus]

In Jerusalem there is an entire mental hospital full of people who declare themselves the messiah - I've often thought it would be hilarious if the real one appeared, and was put in there with all the others!

is it the messiah complex

[Syt]

The spam I receive is much less funny.

Hello!

I am a hacker who has access to your operating system.
I also have full access to your account.

I've been watching you for a few months now.
The fact is that you were infected with malware through an adult site that you visited.

If you are not familiar with this, I will explain.
Trojan Virus gives me full access and control over a computer or other device.
This means that I can see everything on your screen, turn on the camera and microphone, but you do not know about it.

I also have access to all your contacts and all your correspondence.

Why your antivirus did not detect malware?
Answer: My malware uses the driver, I update its signatures every 4 hours so that your antivirus is silent.

I made a video showing how you satisfy yourself in the left half of the screen, and in the right half you see the video that you watched.
With one click of the mouse, I can send this video to all your emails and contacts on social networks.
I can also post access to all your e-mail correspondence and messengers that you use.

If you want to prevent this,
transfer the amount of $500 to my bitcoin address (if you do not know how to do this, write to Google: "Buy Bitcoin").

My bitcoin address (BTC Wallet) is: [REDACTED by Syt]

After receiving the payment, I will delete the video and you will never hear me again.
I give you 50 hours (more than 2 days) to pay.
I have a notice reading this letter, and the timer will work when you see this letter.

Filing a complaint somewhere does not make sense because this email cannot be tracked like my bitcoin address.
I do not make any mistakes.

If I find that you have shared this message with someone else, the video will be immediately distributed.

Best regards!

[DGuller]

Oh, that was you?  You're disgusting, Syt.