Here's how to talk to women wearing headphones – without being an idiot

[Valmy]

Also, this woman sounds really angry

It was a little weird. She attacks these idiotic lists, rightfully I think, but then goes on to rant about totally unrelated things in the list she makes.

Don't do things to women that you would find annoying if done to you. This includes, but is not limited to, making unsolicited comments about body parts, musing aloud about fornicating with them, or shouting out ratings out of 10.

What does that have to do with the stupid list she is critiquing? Nothing. Same with most of the rest of it.

[garbon]

Also, this woman sounds really angry

Yeah. If a woman ever complains about something, she must be angry.

[Hamilcar]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/24/lads-britain-needs-you-to-do-your-duty-and-get-flirting/

Lads! Britain needs you to do your duty and get flirting
CHARLOTTE GILL
24 AUGUST 2016 • 9:02PM

Actress Kristin Scott Thomas portrays a New Hampshire congresswoman running for re-election who finds herself in an unlikely romance with a police officer portrayed by Harrison Ford, in a scene from their new romance-drama film " Random Hearts" which opens October 8 in the United States

And I don't want to stereotype them all, so let me be more specific: I refer to those my own age, who have forced me to bookmark a cattery website. In the romantic arena, trying to meet a man sometimes makes me feel like David Attenborough, stepping into the jungle to locate a Jesus Lizard (a real thing).

Finding Mr Dreamy is difficult because the main strategies a girl can use are wrought with danger. Number one is proactivity: in 2016, it seems fair that a woman can approach a chap she fancies. This sometimes works, but generally does seem to make the man's insides shrivel up when asked "having a good night?" or something equally menacing.

So we consign ourselves to option two: waiting. Which is just as problematic, as nothing happens. That's the conclusion my friend and I came to last week, while we were sitting at a bar. We're hardly bad company and several lads gave us a cheeky stare as they did the toilet trot. Still, nothing happened, so we stared sadly into our Mojitos at single reflections.

Eventually one guy asked if we'd like to join him for some table football. He was dashing and curious. He was German, of course (because the only people who'll ever chat you up in Britain are not British.)

Now I'm not Claudia Schiffer, but I don't think I'm Chewbacca either. Yet operating in this asexual environment, it is possible to feel largely unattractive. Some sort of winter chill has frosted over British men's gonads, and it's leaving us all out in the cold.

If only they'd learn from the Europeans, maybe we'd be in with a chance. In countries such as Italy, Spain and France, the men are as forward as it gets. In such territory, a woman's self esteem may rise substantially from all the glory of being chatted up.

In Britain, it's as if the stereotypical school disco - girls on one side, boys on the other - continues into adulthood. Eight-year-olds are probably better at asking for a dance. As a result, the singles market is growing, with 51 percent of people in England and Wales eating dinner for one.

In 2014, newspapers boasted that the City of London is fantastic for women - because it has 155 single men per 100 ladies. These numbers seems favourable - until you realise that you're dealing with the most placid of creatures, many of whom seem to delight in their solo status.

Tools like Tinder and Happn have made things worse, as men are inundated with choice - giving them false belief they are Puff Daddy. Dating apps have completely killed off macho displays now even the most predatory man can click his way to romance.

You may be thinking that all this is trivial, but this dating dallying has big societal consequences. As the Guardian likes to remind us, loneliness kills - so dithering lads are actually murderers, when you think about it. I'm not sure what the psychological reasons for their inactivity is - perhaps feminists have scared them off with complaints of catcalling. So much so that, like the Jesus Lizard, a wolf whistle is near extinction.


British men need some encouragement, maybe even government intervention, to be more forward. In 2015, Denmark released an advert called "Do It For Mom", to encourage its nationals to have more babies. Maybe we need an equivalent: "Do It For The Girls". For if British men don't make the moves, we almost certainly will be joining the Danes in the birth rate stakes.

Birth rates and loneliness aside, it's a simple issue of self-esteem that worries me. Because of daft, but very real, rules of engagement, most women really are at the whim of men to decide their dating destiny. You wouldn't believe how many guys are averse to forward women, but then won't do the forward thing themselves. So everyone is stuck.

When I talk to single friends, many of us share a simple desire: we just want to be talked to more. Frankly, it's getting us down. British lads, please find your gonads.

[HVC]

Also, this woman sounds really angry

Yeah. If a woman ever complains about something, she must be angry.

her original complaint was valid, but like valmy notes she then goes on to list a bunch of random things.

[Valmy]

Also, this woman sounds really angry

Yeah. If a woman ever complains about something, she must be angry.

Well you have to admit it took a weird turn there.

[garbon]

What does that have to do with the stupid list she is critiquing? Nothing. Same with most of the rest of it.

They are all ways that men interact with women in public?

[garbon]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't...

Telegraph and Guardian might have different audiences, just maybe.

[HVC]

Damned if you do, damned if you don't...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/24/lads-britain-needs-you-to-do-your-duty-and-get-flirting/

You need to follow the 2 golden rules
1) Be attractive.
2)Don't be unattractive.

[garbon]

Also, this woman sounds really angry

Yeah. If a woman ever complains about something, she must be angry.

Well you have to admit it took a weird turn there.

No, I don't think I do?

[derspiess]

Also, this woman sounds really angry

Yeah. If a woman ever complains about something, she must be angry.

That's actually a pretty safe assumption most of the time.  ESPECIALLY AT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

[Valmy]

What does that have to do with the stupid list she is critiquing? Nothing. Same with most of the rest of it.

They are all ways that men interact with women in public?

Yes but the rest of her article was about how these stupid lists are aimed at both sexes and demean us both in gendered ways.

Then it went right into fury about public harassment of women. Granted that is a key topic it just seemed weird.

[CountDeMoney]

You need to follow the 2 golden rules
1) Be attractive.
2)Don't be unattractive.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/295600

[HVC]

You need to follow the 2 golden rules
1) Be attractive.
2)Don't be unattractive.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/295600

in the wastelands (aka Canada) so that's blocked for me

[CountDeMoney]

http://youtu.be/XBZN2ODgSAk

[Martinus]

Back in serious mode, when I worked in a cubicle having my headphones on at my desk meant I needed to focus on what I was working on and should not be interrupted unless it was an emergency.  Amazed me how few people actually got the hint.

Same goes for other situations.  When I was walking around town at lunch and had headphones on, that meant I wasn't really in the mood for small talk.  Oddly enough, the only people who seemed to respect that were homeless beggars.

You need to have a bitchy resting face. I'm always amazed how many people want to talk to my sister or my sister and I when together. On my own, basically no one fucks with me.

Is your sister white?