Lazy kids

[Phillip V]

I was sitting down to dinner with a 47-year-old colleague the other day, and he asked me what to do with his daughter. She has no goals. He and his wife always had to wake her up and drag her out of bed to go to high school, and in college, she waffled between majors until she had to follow through with Political Science. Now, she is freshly graduated and does not know what do, but perhaps go to graduate school "just because". He refuses to pay for it when she does not have a clear life objective.

Being a crazy youngster, I did not know what to say and was taken aback by the personal nature of the inquiry. In retrospect, I would have said something about the need to find purpose, perhaps through avenues of faith, family, love, and country. What can you tell me about motivating and directing directionless individuals from your experiences?

[Darth Wagtaros]

People have managed most of history without some sort of personal objective beyond getting some means of employment and pumping out a new generation to do the same.  This whole 'finding yourself' bullshit is ridiculous.  People end up pissing away tens of thousands of bucks at school or whatever looking for this mystical event horizon over which is 'completion'. 

Fuck that Phil. Fuck. That.

[Phillip V]

People have managed most of history without some sort of personal objective beyond getting some means of employment and pumping out a new generation to do the same.  This whole 'finding yourself' bullshit is ridiculous.  People end up pissing away tens of thousands of bucks at school or whatever looking for this mystical event horizon over which is 'completion'. 

Fuck that Phil. Fuck. That.

Back to the situation. He thinks she should work and get some experience under her belt. Should he refuse to fund her grad school?
There seem to be many who piss away tens of thousands of bucks at school studying who knows what just because "that's what you're supposed to do", and then come out unemployed.

[Weatherman]

<monkeybutt/Neil>

Beat them.

</mbN>

[Darth Wagtaros]

People have managed most of history without some sort of personal objective beyond getting some means of employment and pumping out a new generation to do the same.  This whole 'finding yourself' bullshit is ridiculous.  People end up pissing away tens of thousands of bucks at school or whatever looking for this mystical event horizon over which is 'completion'. 

Fuck that Phil. Fuck. That.

Back to the situation. He thinks she should work and get some experience under her belt. Should he refuse to fund her grad school?
There seem to be many who piss away tens of thousands of bucks at school studying who knows what just because "that's what you're supposed to do", and then come out unemployed.

Yes. I know some of them.  Two hundred grand later they are still unemployed.  Why should he pay for college anyway?  The girl wants to go she can get a loan and a job just like so many other people.  She's a friggin adult. I'm assuming he helped her out with her undergrad degree, both for tuition and other expenses, so she is in her early twenties?

Unless she was gonna go into a program that was in demand or had some chance of paying off so she could pay some of that enormous amount of money back to her parents, either directly or by paying for a decent nursing home when they are old and senile i can't imagine why they should feel remotely obligated to pay for anything.

[Monoriu]

Funding her graduate school is fine, so long as it is an area that is actually in demand, e.g. law, medicine etc. 

But how to get her to be motivated is another thing.  I have been drilled before I went to school that the purpose of life is to survive.  To survive I need food.  To buy food I need money.  To make money I need a job.  To get a job I need to graduate university.  To get into a university I need to finish secondary school, and before that primary school.  To advance I need good grades.  That's why I need to study for that exam.  Anything that doesn't contribute to this grand plan is an utter waste of time. 

Just before I graduated, I spent most of the time trying to get a job.  The urgency is compounded by the following realizations -

1. Every day not spent working represents a day of lost revenue.
2. The earlier I start making and saving money, the more time there will be for compound interest to work its magic.
3. For every day spent unemployed, I become less marketable.

The old tricks work best.  Fear and greed.  These are my motivators.  Fear of starving on the streets.  Fear of not having food on my table, or roof over my head.  Greed of money.  Knowing my parents, I have absolutely no illusion that I won't physically survive unless I find a job.  That motivated me to find a job before I graduated.  And I did. 

To motivate her, they gotta drill it into her head day after day that no job=no food=death, and to make the threat seriously. 

[Jaron]

God, you're a worthless piece of coolie shit, Phillip.

[Weatherman]

What's up j-dawg? Still working at that payment processing place?

[Jaron]

No, they downsized.

[Weatherman]

Where you at now?

[DisturbedPervert]

Her objective should be to pout until daddy agrees to send her to graduate school.  The day this strategy stops working is the day she should begin looking for a husband.

[Jaron]

I'm a consultant.

[Fireblade]

Is she hot?

With her lack of motivation, it's a 100% guarantee she smokes more weed than a neo-Rastafarian thrallbeast.

[grumbler]

Back to the situation. He thinks she should work and get some experience under her belt.

He is correct. 

Should he refuse to fund her grad school?

Yes

A job teaches a whole lotta things that school cannot.  I have always liked the (largely mythical)* Aussie/Kiwi concept of the "walkabout year" between high school and college.

* I say "largely" because I know it exists:  my main squeeze in London was a Kiwi on walkabout.

[CountDeMoney]

Funding her graduate school is fine, so long as it is an area that is actually in demand, e.g. law, medicine etc. 

But how to get her to be motivated is another thing.  I have been drilled before I went to school that the purpose of life is to survive.  To survive I need food.  To buy food I need money.  To make money I need a job.  To get a job I need to graduate university.  To get into a university I need to finish secondary school, and before that primary school.  To advance I need good grades.  That's why I need to study for that exam.  Anything that doesn't contribute to this grand plan is an utter waste of time. 

Just before I graduated, I spent most of the time trying to get a job.  The urgency is compounded by the following realizations -

1. Every day not spent working represents a day of lost revenue.
2. The earlier I start making and saving money, the more time there will be for compound interest to work its magic.
3. For every day spent unemployed, I become less marketable.

The old tricks work best.  Fear and greed.  These are my motivators.  Fear of starving on the streets.  Fear of not having food on my table, or roof over my head.  Greed of money.  Knowing my parents, I have absolutely no illusion that I won't physically survive unless I find a job.  That motivated me to find a job before I graduated.  And I did. 

To motivate her, they gotta drill it into her head day after day that no job=no food=death, and to make the threat seriously.

Not everybody's will needs to be broken while still in the womb, Deng.