Almost Totaled by ... a Bear

[Malthus]

The short version: driving back from a day in the country (Oro county, just north of Barrie, Ontario) we turned onto a paved road when suddenly a bear loped out of the bush and right in front of our car.

My wife was driving - she hit the breaks and that bear took off across the road like it had a firecracker up its ass.

We came very close to plowing into it, and god knows what kind of damage hitting a full-sized bear would do to the car. Scared us. Sure as hell scared that bear.

Anyway, it's the first time I've seen a bear that far south. They are getting much more common in southern Ontario - my dad sees them all the time in Oro county.

[PDH]

Well, if he wasn't wearing his rainbow shirt, he would have blended in with the wildlife.

[garbon]

Well, if he wasn't wearing his rainbow shirt, he would have blended in with the wildlife.

I think you mean "blended in with everyday americans."

That's freaky, Malthus. Glad both you all went unharmed.

[jimmy olsen]

Yikes, sounds scary. Was Carl in the car with you?

[Grey Fox]

An actual bear?

Languish as skewed me I was expecting a fat hairy gay man. 

[garbon]

Languish as skewed me I was expecting a fat hairy gay man. 

[CountDeMoney]

We came very close to plowing into it, and god knows what kind of damage hitting a full-sized bear would do to the car. Scared us. Sure as hell scared that bear.

My parents were camping up in Maine one year, and a bear ran out of the woods and plowed into the side of their van, dented the shit out of it.

They and the rest of the traffic stopped, and there was the bear, sitting in the middle of the road with little vans circling his head, damned near knocked the fuck out.  Took him about 5 minutes to get his shit straight, and was on his way.

[Caliga]

I almost hit a deer about a year ago driving home from an after-work party.  Damn vermin 

Princesca's cousin did hit a deer a while back.  Once he got home it occurred to him that he could butcher it (he hit it with a glancing blow and only its neck was broken), so he drove back to the accident site but someone else had already collected it. 

[Malthus]

Yikes, sounds scary. Was Carl in the car with you?

Yup, and his 4 year old cousin. Neither was all that impressed by seeing an actual bear in the wild. They would be if they were a bit older I think.

[Malthus]

An actual bear?

Languish as skewed me I was expecting a fat hairy gay man. 

Well, it was fat and hairy all right. Couldn't make a guess as to its orientation. 

[Malthus]

We came very close to plowing into it, and god knows what kind of damage hitting a full-sized bear would do to the car. Scared us. Sure as hell scared that bear.

My parents were camping up in Maine one year, and a bear ran out of the woods and plowed into the side of their van, dented the shit out of it.

They and the rest of the traffic stopped, and there was the bear, sitting in the middle of the road with little vans circling his head, damned near knocked the fuck out.  Took him about 5 minutes to get his shit straight, and was on his way.

The fuckers definitely do not always look both ways.

[Ed Anger]

Princesca's cousin did hit a deer a while back.  Once he got home it occurred to him that he could butcher it (he hit it with a glancing blow and only its neck was broken), so he drove back to the accident site but someone else had already collected it. 

Hyuk hyuk!

[Neil]

and god knows what kind of damage hitting a full-sized bear would do to the car. Scared us. Sure as hell scared that bear.

More than a deer.  Your average black bear is about 3-4 times more massive than a deer, and solidly constructed.  The relatively low centre of mass on a bear on the move would work to your advantage, as the engine compartment of your vehicle would absorb a lot of the energy, and cars these days are built to crush the front on impact anyways.  Deer, on the other hand, can fall onto the hood and bounce into the compartment.  However, it'd be much less dangerous than a moose, who is not only twice as massive, but constructed in such a way as to fall down through your windshield or the roof of the car.

Depending on how you hit it, you'd almost certainly total your car.  However, thanks to the safety features of a modern car, you might be able to escape with minor injuries.  Of course, it's always hard to tell with car crashes.  If you're going to hit an animal, it's best to make it something like a weasel or a mouse.

[Syt]

Yikes, sounds scary. Was Carl in the car with you?

Yup, and his 4 year old cousin. Neither was all that impressed by seeing an actual bear in the wild. They would be if they were a bit older I think.

Friends drove from Calgary to Vancouver and saw, like, close to a dozen bears. And bald eagles.

[Caliga]

Hyuk hyuk!

Not a joke.