Soon illegal to perform private paternity tests in Germany?

[Oexmelin]

There is nothing social, sentimental or romantic when the wife cheats on a man, gives birth to the child, and asks him to pay her for it: What she wants is to maintain access to your resources for her own benefit, not your fatherly love.

I do not understand this at all. The love you give to a kid is dependant upon what the mother wants of you ?

[Drakken]

There is nothing social, sentimental or romantic when the wife cheats on a man, gives birth to the child, and asks him to pay her for it: What she wants is to maintain access to your resources for her own benefit, not your fatherly love.

I do not understand this at all. The love you give to a kid is dependant upon what the mother wants of you ?

It is dependent on whether it is my child or not, i.e. biological filiation.

Also, I argue that if the relationship is based on fraud and bad faith and that the damaged party has the option to opt out, the same should apply for filiation, which is a social contract. In this case, if the putative father learns that its whole relationship with his children is based on lie and deceit, he should have a right either to opt out and deny the mother any access to his resource in the future in return for renouncing his parental rights and tutelage forever (within a reasonable timespan, of course) or to retain them and continue to act as their father. Thus the responsability lies with the mother and the consequences of her personal choices, and her partners who partake in sexual intercourse with her despite the risks.

And in case you argue it would be an excuse for any father to escape for their responsabilities pending separation, DNA provides also the means to make sure such they can't. So in fact, it places fatherhood where it should belong: with biological fathers.

[crazy canuck]

Interesting debate but I can tell you if I found out that I was not the biological father of my two sons it would not mean a thing to me in relation to my sons.

Put another way.  If someone came forward and tried to claim he was the father of my sons simply because he had sex with my wife, I would fight him tooth and nail.

[Kleves]

Interesting debate but I can tell you if I found out that I was not the biological father of my two sons it would not mean a thing to me in relation to my sons.

Put another way.  If someone came forward and tried to claim he was the father of my sons simply because he had sex with my wife, I would fight him tooth and nail.

Would you feel the same if you found out that they were not yours say, a week after their birth (rather than years)?

[crazy canuck]

Would you feel the same if you found out that they were not yours say, a week after their birth (rather than years)?

It is hard to put myself in that situation.  By that time I had put nine months of effort into bringing them into the world.  At the time of their birth I fell utterly and completely in love with them.  I think even at that early stage it would have been very hard for me to give them up.

[crazy canuck]

As I think about this, for Drakken's view to be correct, it would also have to be true that adoptive parents necessarily love their adopted kids less then biological parents love their biological kids.

I dont think that is true.

[Drakken]

As I think about this, for Drakken's view to be correct, it would also have to be true that adoptive parents necessarily love their adopted kids less then biological parents love their biological kids.

I dont think that is true.

Adoption warrants a conscious decision by the parents, and indeed sometimes it is the only option available.

Read again that I mention the word choice, which in this current case is totally denied to a father cheated both by his former common-law wife for years on end, and the judicial system for denying him justice because of sheer legalism.

[Barrister]

Interesting debate but I can tell you if I found out that I was not the biological father of my two sons it would not mean a thing to me in relation to my sons.

Put another way.  If someone came forward and tried to claim he was the father of my sons simply because he had sex with my wife, I would fight him tooth and nail.

To be fair though it may well mean a lot in your relationship with your wife...

[grumbler]

In the case at hand, there are surely two conflicting interests:  that of the child, and that of the "adoptive" father.  Where those collide, the courts have to sort them out.

I agree that "adoptive" dad should be happy to support the child whom he believed to be his own, if indeed he had that bond with his "adopted" child.  If he doesn't feel that way, though, he surely is entitled to some justice, isn't he?

The mother and biological father also have some responsibilities here.  Bio dad owes child support, and bio mom has possibly committed a crime (though the statute of limitations has almost certainly expired, if she did knowingly falsify the paternity).

When we discussed this last year, Malthus convinced me that the interests of the child should come first, and I remain convinced of that.  But surely the courts would arrange for "adoptive" dad to get some relief from bio dad, in an ideal world.

[Martinus]

Drakken seems to be struggling with some deep psychosis here. It's kinda disturbing, I must say.

[HVC]

Drakken seems to be struggling with some deep psychosis here. It's kinda disturbing, I must say.

although i lean to his side of the agruement (ie duped dad shouldn't have to pay) i must admit he's coming across as one of those guys that's on the verge of snapping and shooting up a womans college

[Ed Anger]

Drakken seems to be struggling with some deep psychosis here. It's kinda disturbing, I must say.

although i lean to his side of the agruement (ie duped dad shouldn't have to pay) i must admit he's coming across as one of those guys that's on the verge of snapping and shooting up a womans college

At least the news will be interesting when he does.

[sbr]

This was why wire hangers was invented.

Kinda hard to use on a five-year-old. They scream and run too much.

That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time.

[Neil]

What about my fucking rights asshole?

Sure I support gay rights my whole life but you just cheer on shitting all over mine "in the interests of the child" because forcing men to be parents of children that are not theirs is so fucking just.

Go fuck yourself asshole.  Seriously.

Whoa. You really are emotional about the whole issue. That's rather surprising and disturbing, considering you just got married. Already afraid that your wife is being fucked by other guys?

He's right though.  You're two-faced scum who doesn't deserve any rights.  Every gay who is persecuted all over the world deserves it, because you are just that big of an asshole.

[crazy canuck]

To be fair though it may well mean a lot in your relationship with your wife...

That may be but I didnt want to conflate what it might mean for my children.  I think that is what Drakken is doing.