The Off Topic Topic

[Ideologue]

"American"?

[DGuller]

The jokes about the South just write themselves.

[Zanza]

Puerto Rican and Mexican could also hide a non-American continent ancestry...

And distinguishing between Mexican and Hispanic in New Mexico of all places also seems to be a bit strange.

[Josquius]

I'm always skeptical about stuff covering largest ancestries in the US. Brits in general and English in particular are grossly underrepresented. I guess because that is the one just seen as generic American

Bizarre by European standards, but surely you must've gotten a new one staying in Japan for so long?

Not a normal thing here at all. Old people don't do technology. And consideration for others is paramount

[Eddie Teach]

"American"?

Mongrels. Like me.  (Though I'd support the patriarchy and call myself Scottish-American).

[The Brain]

Swedes have been ancestryshamed?

[Eddie Teach]

You probably got filed under "Norwegian".

[Josquius]

In my tiny little home town of 15,000 there has been a bank robbery.
In itself this is quite shocking to me. However the manner in which the robbery occured....lol.

A HAPLESS robber who turned to the internet for tips on raiding a bank even apologised to the cashier before fleeing with a bundle of notes.

However, his getaway didn't start well when the automatic door failed to open and Jordan Daniel Heslin was forced to return to the counter to sheepishly ask: "Can one of you let us out?".

Earlier, the debt-ridden 22-year-old – who wanted to start a new life - was seen outside pacing up and down several times, a court heard.

He then entered with his hood pulled up and a scarf partially covering his face before handing a note to a female cashier.

It read: "I have a gun. Stay calm, I don't want to hurt anyone. I need £6,000. Don't put it in a bag. I'll be out in a hurry. Sorry".

Victoria Lamballe, prosecuting, said: "Panicked and shaken, she didn't know what to do next and shouted to a branch manager.

"She, in turn, looked at the note and glanced at the defendant, who said: 'I'm sorry, I'm desperate'."

The manager took some £10 and £20 notes from a drawer and showed them to Heslin, who told her: "That'll do."

When the door of the Lloyds bank were opened, he left with £2,140. But the robbery was so low key other customers were unaware it had taken place.

However, closed-circuit footage was circulated which led to Heslin being quickly identified – Durham Crown Court heard his own grandmother recognised him.

Miss Lamballe said jobless Heslin had visited a library to seek online information about bank robbery before walking into the nearby Front Street bank in Stanley County Durham, on April 23 shortly before 2pm.

"He fully admitted the offence and told police that having spent the previous morning in a JobCentre, he felt all he needed to make something of his life was some money, which is when he decided to rob a bank.

"He researched it at the library and felt he needed £6,000 to pay off his debts, which would leave some money for his children and £1,000 to start his new life.

"He then said he summoned up the courage to enter and approached the cashier."

He told police he realised the fear he caused to the bank staff and felt sorry for them.

Heslin said he spent some of the money drinking and gambling before being arrested.

Police were quickly at the scene and although a man was arrested shortly afterwards, he was released after offering an alibi.

Heslin, of Edward Street, New Kyo, near Stanley, was arrested at a friend's flat in Gateshead early next day, still with £1,703. He admitted a charge of robbery.

The court heard he had some previous offences on his record but nothing of such significance.

Peter Walsh, mitigating, told the court: "It was clear he was almost apologising to the bank staff involved, telling them: 'I'm sorry', and, 'I'm desperate'.

"Even the manager who was present said she felt: 'What a stupid lad. What have you done?'

"Her colleague said she did not want to think badly of him because of the way he came in.

"This illustrated the unique nature of how these offences were committed.

"There was an element of pre-planning, but that was looking up on Google how to do it.

"Given the camera images it was only a matter of time before he was traced. Even his own grandmother recognised him.

"When police found him he assisted an officer in retrieving the money."

Mr Walsh added that Heslin was "sick of being in debt" and having previously worked full-time was only on a zero-hours contract at the time of the robbery.

Jailing him for two years, Judge Neil Clark told Heslin: "You walked into that bank and committed what appears to have been a somewhat apologetic robbery.

"You found yourself in dire financial straits – you've been frank about that from the outset.

"But, what you chose to do was completely wrong.

"You were naive in the way you carried it out, but you were acting irrationally.

"Those in the bank did not know if there was a gun present or not.

"Although terrified, it's clear neither probably thought you had a gun, but they couldn't take the risk."

Judge Clark added that it was an "unusual case" of robbery which did not fit easily into accepted sentencing guidelines.

http://www.consettstanleyadvertiser.co.uk/news/11269323.Apologetic_bank_robber_who_sought__internet_advice_is_jailed_for_two_years/?ref=var_0


I can't find an article with the full account of the story but apparently it goes like this-

1: He goes to the library to use the internet to research how to rob a bank.
2: He robs the bank. Badly. 
3: He goes across the road to buy a pasty from Greggs
4: He heads to the bus station only to find his get away bus isn't due for another 10 minutes. The police arrest him whilst he waits.

[The Brain]

 

[Ed Anger]

"American"?

People write that in on the census form. Or if they are being really smart assed about it, "Native American".

[alfred russel]

"American"?

One of my grandparents is Italian, another Germany, and another Irish.

The other is more traditional southern, with a family that has been here since the 17th century. He has a scottish name, also with english, scots irish, and german heritage.

What should I put?

[The Larch]

"American"?

One of my grandparents is Italian, another Germany, and another Irish.

The other is more traditional southern, with a family that has been here since the 17th century. He has a scottish name, also with english, scots irish, and german heritage.

What should I put?

Obviously Hispanic.

[alfred russel]

Obviously Hispanic.

[HVC]

Obviously Hispanic.

stay away from my sunglasses!

[Sheilbh]

...So. Alain de Botton's now writing slash fiction about himself and Jennifer Lawrence...
http://www.philosophersmail.com/relationships/jennifer-lawrence-is-my-girlfriend/