Objectivisation of women - discrimination or men just being pigs?

[Jacob]

OK.  Why is that a bad thing?  Because you're married, or on general principle?

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

[Caliga]

OK.  Why is that a bad thing?  Because you're married, or on general principle?

Both.  It's worse because I'm married, because I think it's doubly disrespectful... but again, I sometimes can't help it.  I don't think it outwardly influences my behavior, though... at least I hope not. 

[Admiral Yi]

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

Arugula said the mere act of looking at women in that way is the offense, not telling a coworker about a secretary's great rack.

[Jacob]

Arugula said the mere act of looking at women in that way is the offense, not telling a coworker about a secretary's great rack.

I think it's fear of them being able to tell what he's thinking... that or some sort of "thinking about sinning is as bad as sinning" type guilt.

[LaCroix]

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

yup. i don't think any reasonable person has a problem with dirty thoughts. society would collapse if everyone's private thoughts were known because people like to pretend bad thoughts about them don't happen. you can't pretend with the overt acts, though.

[Caliga]

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

Hmm.  If I found out a person (female or male) was playing out porn scenes with me in their heads, I think I'd probably be flattered, but probably by varying degrees depending on the gender of that person and if I found them attractive as well, which obviously is only going to happen if the person in question is female.

[Razgovory]

The point is, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE WRONG PERSON.

I'm not.  I'm just a fan of his work.  That doesn't mean I'm focused on him.

Showing me your worn rectum is hurting your argument, not helping.

[Eddie Teach]

 

[Caliga]

Arugula said the mere act of looking at women in that way is the offense, not telling a coworker about a secretary's great rack.

I think it's fear of them being able to tell what he's thinking... that or some sort of "thinking about sinning is as bad as sinning" type guilt.

I was thinking about this thread while driving home and I think I may know why sometimes I uncontrollably do this in my head, and other times not.

When I was a teenager my mother was working on her master's degree in counseling psych, and I used to sometimes help her study and between that and her just leaving her textbooks laying around when she was done with them and my compulsion to read pretty much everything in sight, I ended up learning a lot about psychology myself.  One thing that fascinated me at the time was nonverbal communication and, since I had been totally inept at picking up girls, I was very interested in female body language and how to interpret it.

So, armed with this knowledge, contact lenses, and a fresh new goatee, as soon as I started college I put this knowledge to good use.   Even though I no longer need it, I still remember it and over the years I've noticed when interacting with a lady how her body language intersects with what she's actually saying.  I think in my case, because I'm not exactly Mr. Studly, it's easier to pick up on female interest because it's not all that common for me to experience it.  I don't go looking for these cues, but now that I know what they are I kind of can't help but notice.

When you first meet a woman, it's common for them to start dropping cues which IIRC are called 'proteans', which basically mean "I am sizing you up to see whether I'd consider screwing you."  The classic examples of this are when they start fussing with their hair and adjusting their clothing.  Sometimes women never drop any of these cues at all, sometimes they only do it briefly, and other times they do it for the entire conversation.  I presume women who know a thing or to about psychology may be aware of their tendency to do this and have learned to control it, so it's not necessarily a reliable indicator of anything.

So I was thinking about all of this in relation to some of my female co-workers, and realized that ones who I've tended to silently objectify are the very same ones who have continually projected flirtatious body language as long as I've known them.  It makes sense.  They are subconsciously saying, or at least my id thinks they are saying, "I might want to do you", so it follows you'd have intrusive objectifying thoughts about them, too.

[Caliga]

Showing me your worn rectum is hurting your argument, not helping.

  You're allll right, kid.

[Ideologue]

OK.  Why is that a bad thing?  Because you're married, or on general principle?

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

Pretty immature attitude.

[dps]

In ordinary, everyday situations , I think there's a big difference between seeing a person who you find attractive as a possible sex object, and seeing the person only as a sex object.  I mean, almost by definition, if you don't see them as a possible sex object, then you don't find them attractive.

[CountDeMoney]

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

Pretty immature attitude.

Sexual Harassment and You

https://screen.yahoo.com/sexual-harassment-000000677.html

[garbon]

It is, apparently, disconcerting for people to discover that someone they'd been interacting with socially or professionally have been playing out porn-scenes with them in their heads; especially so if they don't "think about you in that way."

Thus, straight homophobic dudes lashing out at gay guys hitting on them or the pretty young secretary going "ewwwww" when she finds out that that some of the managers talked about her tits and whether she'd take it in the ass.

Pretty immature attitude.

Sexual Harassment and You

https://screen.yahoo.com/sexual-harassment-000000677.html

This is my favorite sexual harassment video. "It smells like fresh vagina in here."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zeaYFQMJM

[Ed Anger]

I had forgotten that one.