Xmas 2014 - The Languish Way.

[Brazen]

Dad's spending Christmas with his girlfriend's family this year. Oh how things turn about! I'll see him in the morning before retiring with my kitties, Twin Peaks box set and a roast chicken, because leftovers.

[The Brain]

My special agent.

[Martinus]

Family Knows Better Than To Fall For Mom's Little Bullshit Speech About No Presents This Year
News in Brief • Family • Local • holidays • ISSUE 50•50 • Dec 19, 2014

RICHMOND, VA—Saying that several of them had learned the hard way, members of the Gordon family confirmed to reporters Friday that they knew damn well not to believe Mom's little bullshit speech about not giving gifts this Christmas. "She doesn't mean a goddamn word of it," said Alex Gordon, 32, one of Ellen Gordon's three adult children, all of whom agreed that you'd have to be pretty fucking thick if you didn't see right through her little song and dance about just enjoying each other's company without the expense and obligation of giving presents. "She says this every year, but forget that—of course she wants to do gifts. Can you imagine the look on her face if there actually wasn't anything under the tree and we just sat around empty-handed like a bunch of assholes? No way is that happening." Gordon added that he and his siblings were taking their mom's suggestion that they could leave on Christmas Day if the ticket was cheaper for the utter horseshit that it is.

I was about to post the same thing. I am not falling for that again.

[Martinus]

I'm currently drinking Chardonnay and wrapping presents. I hate wrapping presents...

Why would you wrap presents yourself? Don't they have free present wrapping stations in malls in NYC?

[garbon]

I'm currently drinking Chardonnay and wrapping presents. I hate wrapping presents...

Why would you wrap presents yourself? Don't they have free present wrapping stations in malls in NYC?

Why would I step foot in a mall?

[The Brain]

I'm currently drinking Chardonnay and wrapping presents. I hate wrapping presents...

Why would you wrap presents yourself? Don't they have free present wrapping stations in malls in NYC?

Why would I step foot in a mall?

[Martinus]

I'm currently drinking Chardonnay and wrapping presents. I hate wrapping presents...

Why would you wrap presents yourself? Don't they have free present wrapping stations in malls in NYC?

Why would I step foot in a mall?

You are such a poseur. 

[garbon]

Anyway, I did mostly the online thing this year as it was easy for my lazy ways.

[Syt]

There'll be a pork roast dinner I prepare for myself for 25th/26th. It's my first time trying my hand it it, but meh, how hard can it be?

Thankfully it'll be traditional goose dinner at friends' family tonight.

[Capetan Mihali]

Family Knows Better Than To Fall For Mom's Little Bullshit Speech About No Presents This Year

Emailed to my immediate family.

[CountDeMoney]

Why would I step foot in a mall?

You are such a poseur. 

And let's not support seasonal temp help in this shitty fucking economy or anything.  18,000, and the cunt can't even get presents wrapped by retirees forced to go back to work.

[Admiral Yi]

Mall wrapping here is all done by volunteers.  I've never seen anyone doing it as a paid gig.

[CountDeMoney]

I'm sure Easter Seals Team Six appreciates the help.

[Admiral Yi]

Turns out I get holiday pay for the 26th, but can also put in time and double dip if I want.

[Ed Anger]

I have engaged the full blackmail on the kids.

STOP ACTING LIKE MORONIC LITTLE HEATHENS OR SANTA WONT COME. The twins seem to be piercing through my bullshit though.

Time for bribery.