Amerikaner wedding traditions

[Warspite]

I'm going to a wedding in less than a month in the US and as a best man I have been informed at pretty short notice (the invite had no dress code) that as a member of hte wedding party according to American tradition I should be coordinated with the groom and other best men.

Is this a legit tradition, or something the rental catalogues cooked up? (in the same way they butchered evening wear)

There is a cost implication as morning suit hire is not cheap plus I'd need to take it for two weeks. Also my build does not work with off the rack suits so there's a definite "looking like shit" risk too.

I'm arguing with the groom about this. He's British and initially promised a free-for-all style with the wedding. Now it seems the bride's family is getting involved.

[HVC]

Two words for ya. tuxedo t-shirt.

[Barrister]

I'm going to a wedding in less than a month in the US and as a best man I have been informed at pretty short notice (the invite had no dress code) that as a member of hte wedding party according to American tradition I should be coordinated with the groom and other best men.

Is this a legit tradition, or something the rental catalogues cooked up? (in the same way they butchered evening wear)

There is a cost implication as morning suit hire is not cheap plus I'd need to take it for two weeks. Also my build does not work with off the rack suits so there's a definite "looking like shit" risk too.

I'm arguing with the groom about this. He's British and initially promised a free-for-all style with the wedding. Now it seems the bride's family is getting involved.

It may well be something cooked up by rental companies, but at this point, yes, it's a legit tradition.

Generally renting a tux is pretty reasonable though.  It was one of the smallest expenses from my own wedding.  Peanuts compared to you having to fly across the atlantic.

[Malthus]

I got stung like this - I was a male maid of honour ( ) at my best friend's wedding earlier this month, only to find, a month before, that all of the guys in the wedding were supposed to buy *bespoke* suits of identical pattern from a specific tailor at a cost I do not wish to disclose lest it expose me to further scorn and abuse ... I agreed to do this, only to be filled with (figurative) buckshot by my wife.

His (the husband's) family is super mega rich, so this was nothing to them.

The experience of going to the tailor's was hilarious in hindsight. We came to a sort of unspoken agreement: I agreed to pretend to believe his bull about how certain fabrics and cuts made me look good; he agreed to pretend to believe I was a "gentleman" who could credibly go to bespoke tailors. 

The suit he eventually made was nice, though. We looked good. Too bad the wedding was outdoors in a heat wave. 

[HVC]

I got stung like this - I was a male maid of honour ( ) at my best friend's wedding earlier this month, only to find, a month before, that all of the guys in the wedding were supposed to buy *bespoke* suits of identical pattern from a specific tailor at a cost I do not wish to disclose lest it expose me to further scorn and abuse ... I agreed to do this, only to be filled with (figurative) buckshot by my wife.

His (the husband's) family is super mega rich, so this was nothing to them.

The experience of going to the tailor's was hilarious in hindsight. We came to a sort of unspoken agreement: I agreed to pretend to believe his bull about how certain fabrics and cuts made me look good; he agreed to pretend to believe I was a "gentleman" who could credibly go to bespoke tailors. 

The suit he eventually made was nice, though. We looked good. Too bad the wedding was outdoors in a heat wave. 

This the same friend force feeding her fiance butter in hidden form to fatten him up?

[crazy canuck]

I'm arguing with the groom about this. He's British and initially promised a free-for-all style with the wedding. Now it seems the bride's family is getting involved.

You will be wearing whatever the bride's family makes the groom and you wear.  Best to find out what that is sooner rather than later.

[Warspite]

So colour and dress matching is legit? Ugh. I love you guys, but when it comes to dress sense... uniforms that are not uniforms is hideously tacky.

The real failure here is the groom's, however. I told him to either go formal, in which case I could have had a morning suit made back with my last order of suits from the tailor, or go informal (ie lounge suits). But he set neither so the bride's mother has obviously seized the gap.

It may well be something cooked up by rental companies, but at this point, yes, it's a legit tradition.

Generally renting a tux is pretty reasonable though.  It was one of the smallest expenses from my own wedding.  Peanuts compared to you having to fly across the atlantic.

Not renting a tux, renting a morning suit:



Over here at least, morning wear is considerably more expensive to rent than evening wear (the latter I have anyway).

Having already forked out for transatlantic flights and two week hotel stay, and the groom's very fucking expensive stag weekend that's coming up, I'm not in the mood to be wasting more cash on the bride's mother's self-indulgence.

[Malthus]

This the same friend force feeding her fiance butter in hidden form to fatten him up?

Yup.

[HVC]

This the same friend force feeding her fiance butter in hidden form to fatten him up?

Yup.

lucky man

[Malthus]

This the same friend force feeding her fiance butter in hidden form to fatten him up?

Yup.

lucky man

She only does that when she's pissed off at him.

However, that's almost all the time. 

For example: in the months before the wedding, he takes off with his buddies on vacation for three weeks (not that he works, you understand), leaving her to single-handedly deal with all the organizational details. 

Mind you, he did shell out lots of family money for fancy duds like Manolo Blahnik shoes, and she did look good in them, which covers a multitude of crimes. 

[HVC]

She only does that when she's pissed off at him.

However, that's almost all the time. 

For example: in the months before the wedding, he takes off with his buddies on vacation for three weeks (not that he works, you understand), leaving her to single-handedly deal with all the organizational details. 

Mind you, he did shell out lots of family money for fancy duds like Manolo Blahnik shoes, and she did look good in them, which covers a multitude of crimes. 

Damn rich men!

prenup i presume? keep fatting him up so he gets a coronary before they next young thing catches his eye

[Warspite]

It seems the leisured classes didn't die out, they migrated to Canada. Even over here, our ridiculously rich have make-busy tasks like investment banking, sitting on daddy's company's board, or master's degrees.

[Barrister]

I keep trying to figure out which family your friend married into.

There's a fairly limited number of families with that kind of wealth...

[HVC]

I keep trying to figure out which family your friend married into.

There's a fairly limited number of families with that kind of wealth...

I'm guessing the samuel's

[The Brain]

Looking good, Ark.