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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 07:13:52 AM

Title: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 07:13:52 AM
We haven't had an attention whoring thread from me for a while now, so here goes.

This year our firm decided to get a table at one of the upscale business balls here in Warsaw and my boss decided originally that, as far as lawyers from the firm are concerned, she (partnered but not married), another partner (single), myself and a female colleague of mine (married) are going (without a spouse/partner) and we are inviting clients for the remaining seats (there are 12 seats at the table).

At the end of the day it turns out however that both she and the female colleague are taking their boyfriend/husband, respectively, to the ball.

She knows that I am gay and that I am in a relationship of 3 years now but she did not ask if I would like to bring my boyfriend along too.

Should I feel snubbed?
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Maladict on January 10, 2013, 07:20:49 AM
I guess you should, what with the inferiority complex and all.

:P
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 10, 2013, 07:35:32 AM
Be glad you don't have to bring a date;  should be easier to try to lay a client that way.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: HVC on January 10, 2013, 12:53:02 PM
What about the other colleague? She isn't bring her spouse either?

Anyway, it's a client dinner. They might not care about your sexuality, but they might. Why test it?  If it was a company dinner you might have cause to be annoyed.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Grey Fox on January 10, 2013, 01:01:11 PM
:rolleyes: Stop being Gay in a none-friendly to gays country.

Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 01:36:17 PM
Quote from: HVC on January 10, 2013, 12:53:02 PM
What about the other colleague? She isn't bring her spouse either?

Uhm she does. It says so in my second paragraph.  :huh:
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: PDH on January 10, 2013, 01:56:40 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 07:13:52 AM
business balls
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: mongers on January 10, 2013, 02:08:10 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 07:13:52 AM
We haven't had an attention whoring thread from me for a while now, so here goes.

This year our firm decided to get a table at one of the upscale business balls here in Warsaw and my boss decided originally that, as far as lawyers from the firm are concerned, she (partnered but not married), another partner (single), myself and a female colleague of mine (married) are going (without a spouse/partner) and we are inviting clients for the remaining seats (there are 12 seats at the table).

At the end of the day it turns out however that both she and the female colleague are taking their boyfriend/husband, respectively, to the ball.

She knows that I am gay and that I am in a relationship of 3 years now but she did not ask if I would like to bring my boyfriend along too.

Should I feel snubbed?

Maybe they just wanted to save your boyfriend the embarrassment of being seen in public with you.   :P
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 10, 2013, 02:09:33 PM
Quote from: HVC on January 10, 2013, 12:53:02 PM
Anyway, it's a client dinner. They might not care about your sexuality, but they might. Why test it?

No kidding. 

Pick some other time to be shrill about your fruity sexual politics, Marty. This isn't one of them.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: HVC on January 10, 2013, 02:26:07 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 01:36:17 PM
Quote from: HVC on January 10, 2013, 12:53:02 PM
What about the other colleague? She isn't bring her spouse either?

Uhm she does. It says so in my second paragraph.  :huh:
Sorry, I misread. I thought you were saying three female colleagues were going and only two were bringing dates.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Barrister on January 10, 2013, 02:59:20 PM
Marti, it sounds like the two partners that are being taken are living together.  You are not living with your boyfriend.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 04:03:21 PM
Quote from: Barrister on January 10, 2013, 02:59:20 PM
Marti, it sounds like the two partners that are being taken are living together.  You are not living with your boyfriend.

She doesn't know that.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 04:04:27 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on January 10, 2013, 02:09:33 PM
Quote from: HVC on January 10, 2013, 12:53:02 PM
Anyway, it's a client dinner. They might not care about your sexuality, but they might. Why test it?

No kidding. 

Pick some other time to be shrill about your fruity sexual politics, Marty. This isn't one of them.

I'm not being shrill. I just feel kinda bad about this and my boyfriend who says this is not a big deal but that he would have liked to go, had there been an opportunity. So it's bugging me a bit but I'm not going to make a scene.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Barrister on January 10, 2013, 05:14:53 PM
Quote from: Martinus on January 10, 2013, 04:03:21 PM
Quote from: Barrister on January 10, 2013, 02:59:20 PM
Marti, it sounds like the two partners that are being taken are living together.  You are not living with your boyfriend.

She doesn't know that.

Well, precisely.  You know if someone has a live-in partner because the person will talk about it. 
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Capetan Mihali on January 10, 2013, 05:55:26 PM
I think you were probably not asked to bring your boyfriend out of fear that some client might not approve or might pay it the wrong kind of attention.  How to feel about it is up to you; it'd be much more of a snub if it were a company party, though.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Monoriu on January 10, 2013, 08:32:14 PM
I don't understand why so many people bring spouses or significant others along in business/state occasions. 
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Jaron on January 10, 2013, 08:55:22 PM
If they are attractive, charming or successful they are a chance to increase your prestige in the eyes of your peers. If not, well, it is basically a mercy - a chance for you to show off to your spouse the respect and dignity of your employment.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Eddie Teach on January 10, 2013, 09:44:36 PM
There were a set number of seats available, right? So your boss had 2 openings and chose her own SO (duh) and your colleague's husband over your boyfriend.

Is this boyfriend the one named Dawid? Or have you moved on to a Wincent, Oliwer or Harwey?
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Jaron on January 10, 2013, 11:14:20 PM
Maybe he'll return to Wiktor? :P
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 11, 2013, 01:42:05 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on January 10, 2013, 09:44:36 PM
There were a set number of seats available, right? So your boss had 2 openings and chose her own SO (duh) and your colleague's husband over your boyfriend.

Is this boyfriend the one named Dawid? Or have you moved on to a Wincent, Oliwer or Harwey?

No, it was not about having a number of openings, considering she is bringing a friend of hers.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 11, 2013, 01:46:36 AM
Quote from: Jaron on January 10, 2013, 11:14:20 PM
Maybe he'll return to Wiktor? :P

Why do you talk shit seeing how you know the answer.  :huh:
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Eddie Teach on January 11, 2013, 02:08:40 AM
Quote from: Martinus on January 11, 2013, 01:42:05 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on January 10, 2013, 09:44:36 PM
There were a set number of seats available, right? So your boss had 2 openings and chose her own SO (duh) and your colleague's husband over your boyfriend.

Is this boyfriend the one named Dawid? Or have you moved on to a Wincent, Oliwer or Harwey?

No, it was not about having a number of openings, considering she is bringing a friend of hers.  :rolleyes:

Ok you just don't rate. Bummer.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Tamas on January 11, 2013, 07:38:47 AM
Quote from: Martinus on January 11, 2013, 01:46:36 AM
Quote from: Jaron on January 10, 2013, 11:14:20 PM
Maybe he'll return to Wiktor? :P

Why do you talk shit seeing how you know the answer.  :huh:

You are back already?  :huh:
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Brazen on January 11, 2013, 07:53:18 AM
They probably just feel uncomfortable asking. I wouldn't over analyse it and just ask "Are partners invited?"

Unless you have a significantly more stable relationship that you've mentioned on here before, I'm guessing you wouldn't invite him anyway.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Martinus on January 11, 2013, 07:55:50 AM
Actually, I would consider inviting him. We are already at the stage of being invited to my friends' parties and events together (all my chick friends seem to love him  :hmm: ).
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Tamas on January 11, 2013, 07:57:23 AM
I really don't see why it worth to risk hurting client relations.

Yes, clients who would be negatively affected by this are assholes, but you might need a reality check here. Here it goes: you live in Poland.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 11, 2013, 07:58:04 AM
Yeah, it's an event for clients.  Leave it at that.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Brazen on January 11, 2013, 08:06:21 AM
As an aside, I wouldn't invite a partner to a work event even if it were an option. It's a recipe for boredom, resentment, and sleeve-tugging entreating to leave early. Or amusingly inappropriate drunkenness and embarrassing anecdotes about your out-of-work behaviour.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 11, 2013, 08:14:54 AM
Quote from: Brazen on January 11, 2013, 08:06:21 AM
As an aside, I wouldn't invite a partner to a work event even if it were an option. It's a recipe for boredom, resentment, and sleeve-tugging entreating to leave early. Or amusingly inappropriate drunkenness and embarrassing anecdotes about your out-of-work behaviour.

Amen.  Keep work and play separated as much as possible.  Your sanity will appreciate it.

You are so smart, girl.  Why haven't you been snatched up yet?
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on January 11, 2013, 11:00:56 AM
Quote from: Brazen on January 11, 2013, 08:06:21 AM
As an aside, I wouldn't invite a partner to a work event even if it were an option. It's a recipe for boredom, resentment, and sleeve-tugging entreating to leave early. Or amusingly inappropriate drunkenness and embarrassing anecdotes about your out-of-work behaviour.

Exactly. Utterly boring unless one gets pissed and causes trouble.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: Ed Anger on January 11, 2013, 11:04:20 AM
I used to network and form new paradigms when I went to the wifes boss's parties. JEWS EVERYWHERE.

Plus free food? Count me in.
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: DGuller on January 11, 2013, 11:27:17 AM
Quote from: Tamas on January 11, 2013, 07:57:23 AM
Here it goes: you live in Poland.
:pinch:
Title: Re: Marty's Attention Whoring Thread! - Should I feel snubbed?
Post by: The Brain on January 11, 2013, 01:58:21 PM
She's just not that into you.