Poll
Question:
At what age should children be allowed to have a bf/gf?
Option 1: Whenever they decide they're ready
Option 2: 10 - 12
Option 3: 13 - 15
Option 4: 16 - 17
Option 5: 18 or older
Option 6: It depends on the individual kids
Option 7: It depends on what you mean by "having a boyfriend/girlfriend"
Option 8: Never (Jaron option)
A recent discussion has me wondering what you all think on this. I think that, personally, it depends entirely on the kids involved.
Options 6, 7 and 8
:huh:
Never?
Depends on the kids completely.
I'd say depends on the kids, but isn't the question not so much a matter of "will they" but rather "will they tell the parents".
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 02:34:35 PM
I'd say depends on the kids, but isn't the question not so much a matter of "will they" but rather "will they tell the parents".
That's kind of my feeling on it, too, but there are those who believe that they hold more power over their kids than that.
In any case except for my daughter's, I would say whenever they think they're ready. But I'm old fashioned/naive & assume that the boyfriend/girlfriend thing will be innocent if they're on the younger side.
It depends on the individual kids
It depends on what you mean by "having a boyfriend/girlfriend"
But for my daugther I wish it was @ 35 years old. LOL
PS, voted depends on indv kid for sake of poll.
We should just let them do what their bodies tell them to do shouldnt we?
Quote from: crazy canuck on August 31, 2012, 03:31:10 PM
We should just let them do what their bodies tell them to do shouldnt we?
I expected better of you.
Whenever he feels like it. Parents shouldn't decide this. Moving out with your gf/bf is one other thing, though. So is sleeping together under your roof.
But deciding for the kids who they should date and when they should do it seems a bit... medieval. And even if you try to prevent it, it will happen anyway.
Of course if your 12 year old boy says he's in love with his 43 years old teacher, that's... a bit different.
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 03:32:09 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on August 31, 2012, 03:31:10 PM
We should just let them do what their bodies tell them to do shouldnt we?
I expected better of you.
To be fair you started the passive aggressive comments thing.
I picked whenever the want.
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:35:11 PM
To be fair you started the passive aggressive comments thing.
I picked whenever the want.
WTF are you talking about? :huh: I've been as neutral as possible in this thread, other than stating my personal opinion.
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 03:32:09 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on August 31, 2012, 03:31:10 PM
We should just let them do what their bodies tell them to do shouldnt we?
I expected better of you.
there are those who expected better of you too.
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:41:14 PM
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
My reply to Viking was accurate, not passive aggressive.
Quote from: crazy canuck on August 31, 2012, 03:42:32 PM
there are those who expected better of you too.
:huh:
Yeah, but my parents got over the fact that I didn't want to be a lawyer. Not sure what your point is.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F28.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lxjlubLtHY1rn1xxfo1_100.gif&hash=af405deec0ec9f9fa601fd8e412a644653482a06)
I dunno. I think the term "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" has such a changeable and ill-defined meeting, that I don't think there's any benefit to trying to impose any such rule.
If one of my boys has a "girlfriend" I don't care. What I do care about is what they do, and have no problems imposing restrictions on that. Where you will go, with whom, at which time, and who will be supervising are all perfectly legitimate.
Quote from: Ed Anger on August 31, 2012, 03:48:32 PM
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needs a beard
Quote from: Barrister on August 31, 2012, 03:49:00 PM
I dunno. I think the term "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" has such a changeable and ill-defined meeting, that I don't think there's any benefit to trying to impose any such rule.
If one of my boys has a "girlfriend" I don't care. What I do care about is what they do, and have no problems imposing restrictions on that. Where you will go, with whom, at which time, and who will be supervising are all perfectly legitimate.
:yes:
BB speaks wisely.
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:50:02 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on August 31, 2012, 03:48:32 PM
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needs a beard
TBR SANCTITY
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:41:14 PM
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
Meri is often brusque with me, this is not one of those times.
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 03:58:03 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:41:14 PM
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
Meri is often brusque with me, this is not one of those times.
it wasn't passive agressive to you, it was passive agressive to the person who helped originate this thread. Maybe i'm just overanalysizing the choice of words used.
Quote from: Ed Anger on August 31, 2012, 03:52:28 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:50:02 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on August 31, 2012, 03:48:32 PM
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needs a beard
TBR SANCTITY
What? i always thought joker would look beter with a beard :unsure: :P
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 04:01:14 PM
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 03:58:03 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:41:14 PM
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
Meri is often brusque with me, this is not one of those times.
it wasn't passive agressive to you, it was passive agressive to the person who helped originate this thread. Maybe i'm just overanalysizing the chose of words used.
I'm confused. Meri started the thread. How can she be passive aggressive towards herself? I'm not criticizing, I'm just confused.
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 04:02:37 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 04:01:14 PM
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 03:58:03 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:41:14 PM
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
Meri is often brusque with me, this is not one of those times.
it wasn't passive agressive to you, it was passive agressive to the person who helped originate this thread. Maybe i'm just overanalysizing the chose of words used.
I'm confused. Meri started the thread. How can she be passive aggressive towards herself? I'm not criticizing, I'm just confused.
This is an extension of a backroom thing.
When they've moved out of their parent's home.
Quote from: Barrister on August 31, 2012, 03:49:00 PM
I dunno. I think the term "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" has such a changeable and ill-defined meeting, that I don't think there's any benefit to trying to impose any such rule.
If one of my boys has a "girlfriend" I don't care. What I do care about is what they do, and have no problems imposing restrictions on that. Where you will go, with whom, at which time, and who will be supervising are all perfectly legitimate.
Well said.
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 04:03:17 PM
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 04:02:37 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 04:01:14 PM
Quote from: Viking on August 31, 2012, 03:58:03 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:41:14 PM
Your reply to Viking. I felt it was, anyway.
Meri is often brusque with me, this is not one of those times.
it wasn't passive agressive to you, it was passive agressive to the person who helped originate this thread. Maybe i'm just overanalysizing the chose of words used.
I'm confused. Meri started the thread. How can she be passive aggressive towards herself? I'm not criticizing, I'm just confused.
This is an extension of a backroom thing.
Actually, I was just kind of curious what others thought about the question. It's not really anything to do with the back room other than it made me wonder. :huh:
I have two boys. They'll be getting neckies and French kissing girls via party games from 12-14 if they're anything like their old man. They'll be ready and eager to fuck once 16 hits or thereabouts. My concern is that right now one third of the female population has effectively removed itself from passing any boner test via obesity. It could be even worse when they get some lead in their pencils.
It'll be like a plague hit that carried off almost half of all the womenfolk. Except that the dead linger, shuffling around and trying their best to cockblock you, out of pure spite while they wheel their still slim friends between eating establishments.
Boyfriends and girlfriends is something you have between 15 and 18. IMO etc.
Quote from: Legbiter on August 31, 2012, 05:24:20 PMMy concern is that right now one third of the female population has effectively removed itself from passing any boner test via obesity. It could be even worse when they get some lead in their pencils.
That's optimistically low.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on August 31, 2012, 05:27:03 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on August 31, 2012, 05:24:20 PMMy concern is that right now one third of the female population has effectively removed itself from passing any boner test via obesity. It could be even worse when they get some lead in their pencils.
That's optimistically low.
In my neck of the woods it's still only 1/3 of women who make one want to gag while momentarily gazing upon them.
Some of those muffin tops are still hittable. :)
Quote from: Ed Anger on August 31, 2012, 03:52:28 PM
Quote from: HVC on August 31, 2012, 03:50:02 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on August 31, 2012, 03:48:32 PM
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needs a beard
TBR SANCTITY
:lmfao:
If the question is at what age can you allow them into situations when they could lose their cherry if they wanted to, I'd say 15 (it's the new 16).
If the question is at age can they start holding hands and telling other people they're a couple, who gives a shit?
Allowed?
Whenever they like. Parents shouldn't interefere with who they hang around with (well, except in the case of dodgy thieving druggy kids).
Though anytime before 14 is just playing pretend.
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
When I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:34:25 PM
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
When I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
So the fear is that Kids under 16 may start a sexual relationship? Does this include the 10-13 year olds?
I dunno, lady. I have a cat.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:45:20 PM
I dunno, lady. I have a cat.
And you keep her locked up, unable to date. :(
Yeah, having thought about it I don't think I've thought about it as something for me to allow or disallow as a parent. I may change my tune once it becomes applicable, but I expect my kids will start dating about the time they feel they're ready for it and they're able to find someone to date.
Quote from: Tonitrus on August 31, 2012, 11:46:24 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:45:20 PM
I dunno, lady. I have a cat.
And you keep her locked up, unable to date. :(
That's goddamned right, too. My vestal virgin puddytat, pure in mind, spirit and body, free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment and the little red dot without fear of getting mounted by some ne'er-do-well tomcat that probably already owes child support somewhere as it is.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:50:37 PM
Quote from: Tonitrus on August 31, 2012, 11:46:24 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:45:20 PM
I dunno, lady. I have a cat.
And you keep her locked up, unable to date. :(
That's goddamned right, too. My vestal virgin puddytat, pure in mind, spirit and body, free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment and the little red dot without fear of getting mounted by some ne'er-do-well tomcat that probably already owes child support somewhere as it is.
:lol:
QuoteAt what age should children be allowed to have a bf/gf?
What age do you want to become a grandparent?
Quote from: Barrister on August 31, 2012, 03:49:00 PM
I dunno. I think the term "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" has such a changeable and ill-defined meeting, that I don't think there's any benefit to trying to impose any such rule.
If one of my boys has a "girlfriend" I don't care. What I do care about is what they do, and have no problems imposing restrictions on that. Where you will go, with whom, at which time, and who will be supervising are all perfectly legitimate.
How do you know it won't be a boyfriend? :P
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:34:25 PM
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
When I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
Wouldn't losing virginity with your own daughter be kinda difficult?
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:50:37 PM
Quote from: Tonitrus on August 31, 2012, 11:46:24 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:45:20 PM
I dunno, lady. I have a cat.
And you keep her locked up, unable to date. :(
That's goddamned right, too. My vestal virgin puddytat, pure in mind, spirit and body, free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment and the little red dot without fear of getting mounted by some ne'er-do-well tomcat that probably already owes child support somewhere as it is.
Deep down she is a whore. :secret:
And I have no fucking clue. I had my first sex when I was 22. I had my first boyfriend 5 years later.
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:43:38 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:34:25 PM
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
When I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
So the fear is that Kids under 16 may start a sexual relationship? Does this include the 10-13 year olds?
It wouldn't be an entirely unreasonable fear, especially at the upper end of that age group.
Quote from: dps on September 01, 2012, 05:30:44 AM
It wouldn't be an entirely unreasonable fear, especially at the upper end of that age group.
I would think that it would depend on the kid, though. My elder two boys were dangerous at that age because they wanted to be grown but didn't have the intelligence to be doing grown-up things. My younger two kids, on the other hand, are smarter about life in general and in no rush to grow up, so I'm less worried about them making poor choices.
Make them read relationship/life/biography books first and write a research paper for you that includes statistics and explanations of love, trust, etc. This would not be a prerequisite for dating, but for the logistical requests on you for transportation, attractive clothes, sleepovers, contraception, etc.
Quote from: Martinus on September 01, 2012, 04:08:12 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:34:25 PM
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
When I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
Wouldn't losing virginity with your own daughter be kinda difficult?
Be possible if he was a sperm donor.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 01, 2012, 10:57:41 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 01, 2012, 04:08:12 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on August 31, 2012, 11:34:25 PM
Quote from: merithyn on August 31, 2012, 11:27:37 PM
For those who voted 16 and up, why? I'm trying to understand the harm in having a romantic relationship earlier than that. (And no, I'm not baiting. I'm seriously trying to understand.)
When I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
Wouldn't losing virginity with your own daughter be kinda difficult?
Be possible if he was a sperm donor.
The whole sperm donor thing has led to cases of unknowing biological brothers and sisters raised in different families later meeting and having sex.
Or maybe I saw that in a fictional show. :hmm:
Quote from: Martinus on September 01, 2012, 04:08:12 AM
QuoteWhen I lost my virginity I was 16, she was 15. But she wasn't my daughter. THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT NOW
Wouldn't losing virginity with your own daughter be kinda difficult?
Don't be such ass milk.
16. Fuck what they want before that.
Quote from: Phillip V on September 01, 2012, 11:03:31 AM
The whole sperm donor thing has led to cases of unknowing biological brothers and sisters raised in different families later meeting and having sex.
Or maybe I saw that in a fictional show. :hmm:
Yeah, I've heard that happens quite commonly. People are naturally genetically attracted to siblings and its only the psychological effect of being raised together which makes most people think they're icky.
For this to happen between a biological father/daughter though....hmm....that one is new and intruiging. :hmm:
Really it all boils down to two things:
1. No babies
2. No STDs
Whatever it takes to make sure my kids get to 18 without getting either of those things.
Quote from: Valmy on September 02, 2012, 12:04:23 AM
Really it all boils down to two things:
1. No babies
2. No STDs
Whatever it takes to make sure my kids get to 18 without getting either of those things.
What gender(s) are your kids?
Quote from: Martinus on September 02, 2012, 02:21:55 AM
Quote from: Valmy on September 02, 2012, 12:04:23 AM
Really it all boils down to two things:
1. No babies
2. No STDs
Whatever it takes to make sure my kids get to 18 without getting either of those things.
What gender(s) are your kids?
Relevancy?
Yeah, it's not like Valmy's not gonna care if his son goes around knocking girls up or consider it to be her family's problem. It's not like they're cats. :P
Quote from: Valmy on September 02, 2012, 12:04:23 AM
Really it all boils down to two things:
1. No babies
2. No STDs
Whatever it takes to make sure my kids get to 18 without getting either of those things.
Not really. I'm not okay with my, say 14 year old son going around having sex, even if they are fully protected.
Quote from: Barrister on September 02, 2012, 11:44:34 AM
Not really. I'm not okay with my, say 14 year old son going around having sex, even if they are fully protected.
Look just because we look alike does not mean I declare myself speaking for both of us :P
And yes I would much rather have my 14 year old son going around having sex and not making babies or getting STDs then have him act like a monk and then fall off the wagon once and get Gonorrhea and get somebody preggo in the process.
You wasn't supposed to tell Val.
Quote from: Valmy on September 02, 2012, 03:50:47 PM
Quote from: Barrister on September 02, 2012, 11:44:34 AM
Not really. I'm not okay with my, say 14 year old son going around having sex, even if they are fully protected.
Look just because we look alike does not mean I declare myself speaking for both of us :P
And yes I would much rather have my 14 year old son going around having sex and not making babies or getting STDs then have him act like a monk and then fall off the wagon once and get Gonorrhea and get somebody preggo in the process.
I wonder what I am going to do on that front. My parents never had "the talk" with me - either by happenstance or by choice they left it up to school. Which did a good enough job - I knew about STDs and condoms.
We should follow the customs of our stone age forebears and marry them off as soon as they are able to breed. I demand five Aurochs skins in exchange for my daughter.
I demand a daughter in exchange for my five Aurochs skins. I don't think you have one. :yeahright:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 02, 2012, 06:50:05 PM
I demand a daughter in exchange for my five Aurochs skins. I don't think you have one. :yeahright:
Timmy has made a false promise and gone against the ways of our people. He his hereby commanded to hand over 500 colorful seashells as soon as he recieves your five Auroch skins.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on September 02, 2012, 06:54:20 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 02, 2012, 06:50:05 PM
I demand a daughter in exchange for my five Aurochs skins. I don't think you have one. :yeahright:
Timmy has made a false promise and gone against the ways of our people. He his hereby commanded to hand over 500 colorful seashells as soon as he recieves your five Auroch skins.
:o It will take three moons to collect that many!
Pass. Seashells don't keep you warm at night, like a woman or an auruchs skin.
I don't think it is possible to disallow a kid from having a boyfriend/girlfriend. It simply can't be enforced. A better way is to help the kid so that he/she doesn't suffer from the possible bad consequences, such as pregnancies, diseases, association with crime, decline in academic performance etc. As long as these things don't happen, it is up to the kid.
That was why shock collars were invented.
Ed's daughters are going to run off with the Cleveland State basketball team.
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 02, 2012, 06:55:44 PM
:o It will take three moons to collect that many!
I will assume the burden of the promise you made to Pedro. In exchange for this you must give me 100 colorful shells, and you must find the eccentric member of our tribe, the one who cowers in the darkest corner of his father's hut, not daring to face the sun, and you must knead his feet.
:pope:
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 02, 2012, 07:06:10 PM
Ed's daughters are going to run off with the Cleveland State basketball team.
They better run off with a better team. :mad:
Quote from: Admiral Yi on September 02, 2012, 07:06:35 PM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 02, 2012, 06:55:44 PM
:o It will take three moons to collect that many!
I will assume the burden of the promise you made to Pedro. In exchange for this you must give me 100 colorful shells, and you must find the eccentric member of our tribe, the one who cowers in the darkest corner of his father's hut, not daring to face the sun, and you must knead his feet.
:pope:
Wha..? :unsure:
Just say "I accept" and all will be well.
This place is turning into Mum's Net. :hmm:
:lol:
Quote from: mongers on September 02, 2012, 08:54:27 PM
This place is turning into Mum's Net. :hmm:
I come to Languish for all my parenting advice. :P
Quote from: Valmy on September 02, 2012, 03:51:04 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 02, 2012, 02:21:55 AM
What gender(s) are your kids?
Both boys.
So you need to raise them as incestuously homosexual. No babies and no STDs. :cool:
Dude...
Quote from: Ed Anger on September 02, 2012, 05:33:16 PM
You wasn't supposed to tell Val.
Don't spoil it. :rolleyes:
Quote from: jimmy olsen on September 03, 2012, 01:33:54 AM
Dude...
Ok, I'll bite. Why the joke I made was out of line compared to what was already said in this thread?
It wasn't funny.
But don't worry, you'll feel better once Yi convinces Timmy to massage your feet.
Man I wish I was allowed to have girlfriend. :(
Quote from: Jacob on September 03, 2012, 01:42:50 AM
It wasn't funny.
But don't worry, you'll feel better once Yi convinces Timmy to massage your feet.
I thought he meant Raz. Marty doesn't live with his dad afaik.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 03, 2012, 05:11:24 AM
Quote from: Jacob on September 03, 2012, 01:42:50 AM
It wasn't funny.
But don't worry, you'll feel better once Yi convinces Timmy to massage your feet.
I thought he meant Raz. Marty doesn't live with his dad afaik.
I thought so too until the feet were mentioned, that's why I was confused.
Quote from: Martinus on September 03, 2012, 01:33:07 AM
Quote from: Valmy on September 02, 2012, 03:51:04 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 02, 2012, 02:21:55 AM
What gender(s) are your kids?
Both boys.
So you need to raise them as incestuously homosexual. No babies and no STDs. :cool:
Waiting raising gay men to be exclusively monogamous? You clearly way over-estimate my influence.