Languish.org

General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: C.C.R. on April 08, 2012, 07:30:05 AM

Title: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: C.C.R. on April 08, 2012, 07:30:05 AM
He died for our sins, but came back for our BRAAAAAAAIIINNNNSSSS...

:bowler:
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Josquius on April 08, 2012, 07:39:23 AM
didn't realise it was easter. wow
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: garbon on April 08, 2012, 08:07:32 AM
Ugh - I can't believe I'm up to go to church.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Caliga on April 08, 2012, 08:55:24 AM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 08:07:32 AM
Ugh - I can't believe I'm up to go to church.
:huh:
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Ed Anger on April 08, 2012, 09:00:27 AM
I enjoyed the younger MILFs at church. I didn't enjoy the the peace and love sermon.  :yuk:

Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: DontSayBanana on April 08, 2012, 09:30:50 AM
The only thing I have to add is the Dr. Seuss Bible:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgILxqN_jxE

I was torn between posting this one and "Jesus, the Bad Carpenter."
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: C.C.R. on April 08, 2012, 09:31:14 AM
Waiting for AmScip to pop in & say that Easter isn't for another week or two or whenever the hell Orthodox Easter is this year... :P
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Jaron on April 08, 2012, 09:32:55 AM
Oh, Hosanna!
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on April 08, 2012, 12:56:37 PM
Quote from: C.C.R. on April 08, 2012, 09:31:14 AM
Waiting for AmScip to pop in & say that Easter isn't for another week or two or whenever the hell Orthodox Easter is this year... :P

He's too busy cooking Christmas dinner, probably not back on languish till tomorrow.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Razgovory on April 08, 2012, 01:51:18 PM
I consumed a great deal of pig flesh in celebration of Easter.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Scipio on April 08, 2012, 03:29:03 PM
Quote from: C.C.R. on April 08, 2012, 09:31:14 AM
Waiting for AmScip to pop in & say that Easter isn't for another week or two or whenever the hell Orthodox Easter is this year... :P
One week to go, you heterodox mugs!
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Eddie Teach on April 08, 2012, 05:44:40 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 08, 2012, 01:51:18 PM
I consumed a great deal of pig flesh in celebration of Easter.

I had pizza.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 08, 2012, 07:17:39 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 08:07:32 AM
Ugh - I can't believe I'm up to go to church.

So, did the holy water boil when you walked past it?
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: garbon on April 08, 2012, 07:21:51 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 08, 2012, 07:17:39 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 08:07:32 AM
Ugh - I can't believe I'm up to go to church.

So, did the holy water boil when you walked past it?

Presbyterian, no holy water.

Highlights - a mime troupe that performed jesus dying on the cross (and then he came back in a white robe and pointy white hood), a woman who got the holy spirit and after convulsing a bit - passed out, and a slide show of the minister's car accident on tuesday past

Lowlight - 2.5 hour service
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: sbr on April 08, 2012, 08:28:43 PM
We had a full turkey and trimmings dinner for Easter.  Now my uncle and I are trying to find the late football game on NFL network.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: alfred russel on April 08, 2012, 08:34:02 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 07:21:51 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 08, 2012, 07:17:39 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 08:07:32 AM
Ugh - I can't believe I'm up to go to church.

So, did the holy water boil when you walked past it?

Presbyterian, no holy water.

Highlights - a mime troupe that performed jesus dying on the cross (and then he came back in a white robe and pointy white hood), a woman who got the holy spirit and after convulsing a bit - passed out, and a slide show of the minister's car accident on tuesday past

Lowlight - 2.5 hour service

Was this a sort of personal anthropology project, a fufillment of family obligations, or have you found jesus?  :huh:
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 08, 2012, 09:11:13 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 07:21:51 PM
Presbyterian,

:thumbsdown: :pope:

Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Ed Anger on April 08, 2012, 09:20:42 PM
At least he didn't say Unitarian.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: garbon on April 08, 2012, 09:25:43 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 08, 2012, 09:11:13 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 07:21:51 PM
Presbyterian,

:thumbsdown: :pope:

I've been to one catholic service. It was pretty underwhelming.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: alfred russel on April 08, 2012, 09:56:59 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 09:25:43 PM
I've been to one catholic service. It was pretty underwhelming.

Did you leave before the part where wine becomes jesus blood and bread his flesh?
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: garbon on April 08, 2012, 10:01:14 PM
Quote from: alfred russel on April 08, 2012, 09:56:59 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 09:25:43 PM
I've been to one catholic service. It was pretty underwhelming.

Did you leave before the part where wine becomes jesus blood and bread his flesh?

I just remained in the pew. I did partake at a Lutheran church.

To answer your earlier question, my sister wanted to go and I obliged. In any given year though, I go to church 2 to 3 times even without familial prompting. I find the experience culturally interesting if not spiritually rewarding.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 09, 2012, 05:12:24 AM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 10:01:14 PM
Quote from: alfred russel on April 08, 2012, 09:56:59 PM
Quote from: garbon on April 08, 2012, 09:25:43 PM
I've been to one catholic service. It was pretty underwhelming.

Did you leave before the part where wine becomes jesus blood and bread his flesh?

I just remained in the pew. I did partake at a Lutheran church.

I like the way the Lutherans do it, with individual little shot glasses, as opposed to a chalice.
Just can't slam the chalice down after two fingers.  As much, anyway.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Syt on April 09, 2012, 05:25:04 AM
Our Lutheran church had a chalice from the 18th century. It was turned slightly after every sip an wiped when it had completed one turn.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: The Brain on April 09, 2012, 05:32:01 AM
 :huh: Shot glasses in church? Have you been drinking again?
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Eddie Teach on April 09, 2012, 05:32:20 AM
We always had tiny little glasses filled with grape juice. :thumbsdown:
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Scipio on April 09, 2012, 06:35:29 AM
Quote from: The Brain on April 09, 2012, 05:32:01 AM
:huh: Shot glasses in church? Have you been drinking again?
Serbian church.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: DontSayBanana on April 09, 2012, 04:28:36 PM
Presbyterians do the shot glasses/sparkling grape thing, as well.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Razgovory on April 09, 2012, 05:20:35 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 09, 2012, 05:32:20 AM
We always had tiny little glasses filled with grape juice. :thumbsdown:

That's how you know your church was the wrong one.  Catholic Church you get watered down wine.  Then whiskey and pancakes and bingo.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Eddie Teach on April 09, 2012, 09:19:57 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 09, 2012, 05:20:35 PM
That's how you know your church was the wrong one.  Catholic Church you get watered down wine.  Then whiskey and pancakes and bingo.

Church of Satan sounds more fun.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Razgovory on April 09, 2012, 09:27:10 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 09, 2012, 09:19:57 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 09, 2012, 05:20:35 PM
That's how you know your church was the wrong one.  Catholic Church you get watered down wine.  Then whiskey and pancakes and bingo.

Church of Satan sounds more fun.

No Bingo.  Also that soul saving thing.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: derspiess on April 09, 2012, 11:01:45 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 09, 2012, 05:32:20 AM
We always had tiny little glasses filled with grape juice. :thumbsdown:

Yeah, that's also one of Methodism's biggest failings.  Too much damned Temperance/Prohibitionist in our history.

I got stuck going to the contemporary service with my parents.  Felt embarrassed for everyone else there.  But I did get a kick out of watching the stereotypical 50 year old church lady rocking out on the bass.

I've said it before & I'll say it again: I like my religion solemn and traditional, and I like my rock music secular.  The two just don't mix and I don't get how people think they do.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Razgovory on April 09, 2012, 11:10:01 PM
Ya know, we got a solemn and traditional thing going on over here...
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Duque de Bragança on April 10, 2012, 04:07:25 AM
Had some folar for Easter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folar (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folar)
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Viking on April 10, 2012, 04:13:58 AM
BTW, since I have't bashed the faithtards...

QuoteChristianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Sheilbh on April 10, 2012, 04:26:06 AM
I was going to the local CofE Church for Easter.  Saw they had a female vicar and left :bleeding:

I've since looked them up and apparently they're liberal Anglo-Catholics (incense!) so I may visit.  But I've got no hopes, based on the trendiness of the celebrant <_<
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Eddie Teach on April 10, 2012, 04:40:56 AM
Quote from: Viking on April 10, 2012, 04:13:58 AM
BTW, since I have't bashed the faithtards...

You left out the word "today".
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Viking on April 10, 2012, 04:45:30 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 10, 2012, 04:40:56 AM
Quote from: Viking on April 10, 2012, 04:13:58 AM
BTW, since I have't bashed the faithtards...

You left out the word "today".

No, I left out the words "in this thread", I've been bashing faithtards in the GOP Nomination thread.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: grumbler on April 10, 2012, 06:40:16 AM
Quote from: Sheilbh on April 10, 2012, 04:26:06 AM
I was going to the local CofE Church for Easter.  Saw they had a female vicar and left :bleeding:

Glad to see that prejudice doesn't take the holidays off in Blighty.  :bowler:
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Razgovory on April 10, 2012, 06:42:20 AM
Viking is in England?
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Viking on April 10, 2012, 06:47:17 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 10, 2012, 06:42:20 AM
Viking is in England?

Born in Oxford and went to Imperial College.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Crazy_Ivan80 on April 10, 2012, 08:12:08 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 10, 2012, 06:42:20 AM
Viking is in England?

someone has to burn and pillage those monasteries
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: grumbler on April 10, 2012, 08:57:55 AM
Quote from: Crazy_Ivan80 on April 10, 2012, 08:12:08 AM
someone has to burn and pillage those monasteries

...now that Henry VIII is dead...
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Martinus on April 10, 2012, 09:00:24 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on April 09, 2012, 05:32:20 AM
We always had tiny little glasses filled with grape juice. :thumbsdown:

WTF?  :huh:
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Viking on April 10, 2012, 09:22:41 AM
Quote from: Crazy_Ivan80 on April 10, 2012, 08:12:08 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 10, 2012, 06:42:20 AM
Viking is in England?

someone has to burn and pillage those monasteries

BTW, King Knut is an ancestor or mine. My claim is better than that german scum that sits there now.
Title: Re: Happy Zombie Jesus Day...
Post by: Josquius on April 10, 2012, 09:36:41 AM
Quote from: Viking on April 10, 2012, 09:22:41 AM
Quote from: Crazy_Ivan80 on April 10, 2012, 08:12:08 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on April 10, 2012, 06:42:20 AM
Viking is in England?

someone has to burn and pillage those monasteries

BTW, King Knut is an ancestor or mine. My claim is better than that german scum that sits there now.
He's her  ancestor too.