I don't enjoy (or should say, no longer enjoy) disliking people, languish. The primary result of disliking someone is further unhappiness in life, and so when faced with someone I dislike, I try to simply avoid them for the sake of maintaining the serene tranquility I have succeeded in establishing in the crystal fortress.
Difficulty arises, however, when they are an established friend of years with strong ties of memory and past association. It is hard to avoid such people on a permanent basis- is it wrong to do so? To ask them to change to be someone less odious is naturally to ask too much. As a final consideration, I don't know very many people, and reducing the already thin ties of fraternal affection only increases reliance on those that remain, which brings me to my next point:
What happens when friendship becomes something so much more like love? American society makes little room for the likes of it; two boys who may grow up close together, live in constant proximity, and have the closest bonds of association are naturally expected to part as their spouses and blossoming families succeed their friendships as the most important social link. It pains me to think of the transience that necessarily attends my present happiness, and there is also a certain amount of shame at its inappropriate nature in the first place.
I assume going to Japan will solve both of these problems; Either I will close off from the west entirely, or people formerly resented will be welcomed for the tenuous window back into the world I left behind that they represent, while the scandal of undue affection will mellow with distance.
It seems as if it is too easy for friendship to be an unwelcome albatross around one's neck, or something that has a significance and importance all beyond reason. In either event, I feel like I am in the wrong, rather than the friend in question.
What follows is a tangentially related picture
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FSM4Lp.jpg&hash=a240254c4691cade3df6dcf242d2f2612a080ec4)
You know what they say, "friendship is magic".
Friendship is indeed magic, but the existence of Gilda proves that even in such an idyllic context as Equestria there can be people whose very existence is loathsome and an anathema to friendship and wholesome association.
Nice crotch shot.
Nice old book called 'The Art of Loving': http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Loving (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Art_of_Loving)
QuoteFromm presents love as a skill that can be taught and developed. He rejects the idea of loving as something magical and mysterious that cannot be analyzed and explained, and is therefore skeptical about popular ideas such as "falling in love" or being helpless in the face of love. Because modern humans are alienated from each other and from nature, we seek refuge from our aloneness in romantic love and marriage (pp. 79–81). However, Fromm observes that real love "is not a sentiment which can be easily indulged in by anyone." It is only through developing one's total personality to the capacity of loving one's neighbor with "true humility, courage, faith and discipline" that one attains the capacity to experience real love. This should be considered a rare achievement (p. vii).
The Art of Loving argues that the active character of true love involves four basic elements: care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge (p. 24). Each of these is difficult to define and can differ markedly depending on the people involved and their circumstances. Seen in these terms, love is hard work, but it is also the most rewarding kind of work.
One of the book's concepts is self-love. According to Fromm, loving oneself is quite different from arrogance, conceit or egocentrism. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses). In order to be able to truly love another person, one needs first to love oneself in this way.
Fromm is skeptical of exclusive love, which he calls égoïsme à deux – a relationship in which each person is entirely focused on the other, to the detriment of other people around them. In a healthy marriage, faithfulness applies to sex, but not to Fromm's concept of love, because love means a generally caring, responsible, respectful and honest attitude toward all other people.
The book includes explorations of the theories of brotherly love, motherly and fatherly love, erotic love, self-love, and the love of God (pp. 7–76), and an examination into love's disintegration in contemporary Western culture (pp. 77–98).
http://www.goofyfootpress.com/ (http://www.goofyfootpress.com/) This might also help when you get around to consummating your bronymance.
A couple of social subversive undesirable types, I see.
Well, the matters will resolve themselves. There is no urgency at all; it is a gentle sort of problem.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.intpcentral.com%2Fuploads%2Fmcdrive%2520by.jpg&hash=2ee696a69862f00944d673bd07d25d6d92fd1888)
I think we all saw this coming.
Just confess your gay obsession to your friend. I am SURE he will understand.
You know, Lettow being a deeply closeted homosexual would explain more than a few things about him. Just saying.
He knows exactly how I feel. Why would I keep secrets from my wonderful roommate? It wouldn't be the friendship it is if I didn't. I have never hid anything from him- I refer to him as "the dashing young prince" in his sight. He is a bit embarrassed by this sort of thing, being a proper sort who would never say such things about someone else. He has a laconic nature.
But, I must reiterate that it isn't a homosexual thing. Unfortunately, I don't really have much sexual feeling one way or the other- the seldom times I do, I assure you it is directed toward females.
I'm sure he'll completely understand how strong your friendship is when you explain to him how the greatest bonds are formed by swallowing each others' cock sauce. Squee. Mew.
sexual intercourse is pig disgusting and attendant to the highest feelings of shame and revulsion
This is when it is directed at women, mind you; in the context of male/male I think Mishima found the best recourse
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2012, 08:36:16 AM
You know, Lettow being a deeply closeted homosexual would explain more than a few things about him. Just saying.
It's more like he's standing in the door frame with the door slightly ajar. :contract:
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 08:37:32 AM
But, I must reiterate that it isn't a homosexual thing. Unfortunately, I don't really have much sexual feeling one way or the other
:D
He once was blind, but still cannot see.
I think we can all agree that Lettow is a confused young man.
Quote from: Razgovory on March 14, 2012, 09:11:01 AM
I think we can all agree that Lettow is a confused young man.
Quite the unique sight on this forum of confused old people
To be fair, he's doing what alot of college kids do. Experiment. At least that's what I'm told. When I was in college I would lock myself in my dorm and not come out for weeks at a time. I wasn't the experimental type.
I'm surprised grallon hasn't been splurging all over this thread yet. Unless lettow is already too old for him.
I don't experiment with much of anything. I'm very happy with my environment presently, and put my efforts into maintaining it while trying to prepare the way for a future in the sacred isles.
I am a contented hikikomori outside of class.
You should stop now, and resume posting once in Japan. It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.
Quote from: Tamas on March 14, 2012, 10:08:50 AM
You should stop now, and resume posting once in Japan. It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.
It'll be like his "Vision Quest" to Utah x100. :yes:
Lettow, exactly how old are you?
As a "confused old person" here at Languish, I note that you seem to be both quite afraid of being hurt by the world and in doubt about your own capabilities.
You also seem like the kind of writer that ends up killing himself.
Since I'm not sure of your age, for now I'll just note one thing: people are far easier to deal with if you take a very proactive stance towards them. A strong voice, a confident attitude and solid knowledge, combined with a one-track mind can push just about anyone to see you in a good light.
If shyness is a problem, just put your current "self" in a mental "container", then create an outgoing personality and make "it" take over your body when you deal with other people, while "you" in the "container" watch from behind your eyes.
This allows you to totally dominate others in social/romantical situations.
It will also allow you to see that women are actually people, and won't break if you handle them (though they'll have particular needs, which can be both annoying and flattering at the same time), and that you can actually satisfy most of them sexually without problems.
There is NO need to be afraid of them and to turn your attentions to males just because you find it somehow "easier" to deal with men just because you know how they think.
Quote from: Tamas on March 14, 2012, 10:08:50 AM
It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.
I've found out that 'reality' is a strange thing indeed. With the right attitude, knowledge and brains, a lot of things become possible. Even appearently impossible stuff.
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2012, 10:16:45 AM
Quote from: Tamas on March 14, 2012, 10:08:50 AM
You should stop now, and resume posting once in Japan. It is my long-running theory that anime nerds like you would face a rude awakening, as it impossible for the reality to live up to your fucking daydreams, whatever they may be exactly.
It'll be like his "Vision Quest" to Utah x100. :yes:
It was a good thing we talked him out of the biking thing. That would have killed him.
Not quite sure what to think of Martim's advice right now...
Alright! There's a lot here that deserves addressing, and I think your concern is sincere, so I am happy to answer.
Quote
Lettow, exactly how old are you?
I am twenty two.
Quote
As a "confused old person" here at Languish, I note that you seem to be both quite afraid of being hurt by the world and in doubt about your own capabilities.
You also seem like the kind of writer that ends up killing himself.
These are fair accusations. I think the less that is expected from the world, the less these expectations can be disappointed; rather than foray out into a world of uncertainty, I would sooner adjust my desires to something achievable. It is fair to say I doubt my capabilities, I suppose, but I am confident that I can achieve my present aims. As for killing myself, it isn't much of a concern. I occupy a unique social position that allows me to kill myself when I take a mind to do so- I have no dependents and there are no expectations that ride upon me. Someone who has a half-dozen hostages to fortune may or may not see the blessing in this, but I certainly am aware of the benefit that springs form having freedom of action. There are things I want to do in life, but no noteworthy goals will be disrupted by a premature demise on my part, and if I no longer wanted to do anything in life, suicide in principle holds no horrors or moral qualms for me.
Quote
Since I'm not sure of your age, for now I'll just note one thing: people are far easier to deal with if you take a very proactive stance towards them. A strong voice, a confident attitude and solid knowledge, combined with a one-track mind can push just about anyone to see you in a good light.
If shyness is a problem, just put your current "self" in a mental "container", then create an outgoing personality and make "it" take over your body when you deal with other people, while "you" in the "container" watch from behind your eyes.
This allows you to totally dominate others in social/romantical situations.
There is a lot to say here. I used to be much more confident and strident in tone- I have grown to greatly prefer reserve and a passive tone. That's one thing I find attractive about Japan, after all. I don't mind being the quiet person i've become. My father was a boisterous and vibrant man; I do not think I am a better man for being less so, but nor do I think it makes me any worse. As for the latter part.. I -did- totally dominate a woman in a romantic situation for some five years. I controlled her to an unacceptably high degree; looking at things she wrote, they are essentially in my voice (or what was my voice at the time.) I do not have the energy or inclination to "dominate" anyone anymore. It feels morally reprehensible, not worth the effort which as of late come to seem so taxing, and generally not for me. Dominion is something I generally resent.
Quote
It will also allow you to see that women are actually people, and won't break if you handle them (though they'll have particular needs, which can be both annoying and flattering at the same time), and that you can actually satisfy most of them sexually without problems.
There is NO need to be afraid of them and to turn your attentions to males just because you find it somehow "easier" to deal with men just because you know how they think.
Again, I can't seem to disabuse Languish of the notion that I turn my attentions to males. I have always been overly taken with hierarchy and hero worship; a deep affection for another man comes naturally to me. Sexual interest does not, and I have no desire that it did. I tend to view my general sexual disinterest as a blessing, and the extent to which I do desire women as something that should be repressed.
I don't dislike women, however! It is true I am not crazy about the role they presently occupy in society, their manner of dress, etc etc, but the ideal of maidenly femininity remains pleasing. I have a weakness for long skirts, ribbons, hairbands, lace, and other things of the sort. This interest is abiding both inside and outside of sexual spheres; if anything, I tend to resent my sexual preferences for staining an otherwise wholesome appreciation.
It may be worth noting that of the precious few people I remain in close contact with, two are female. Before I chased the missus away, she was the main person I spoke to. I have never held women to be a frightful mystery that must be avoided; it is true, however, that we generally have little overlap in interests.
Concern about my future is appreciated, but I think it is largely misplaced. I have goals that I believe I can meet, and I look forward to announcing my success to the nay-sayers. We have others on languish who could use the counseling more.
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 10:05:45 AM
I don't experiment with much of anything. I'm very happy with my environment presently, and put my efforts into maintaining it while trying to prepare the way for a future in the sacred isles.
I am a contented hikikomori outside of class.
You have experimented with Japanese culture. Or Japanese pop culture. Or what ever the hell anime is. I think there is something wrong with someone who desires to debase themselves before some other people on the other side of the world for no adequate reason.
Why did I make the mistake of opening this thread?
Raz, I have liked Japan for a long time. Anime fans and Japanophiles are different sorts; in fact, the former tends to resent the latter and try to distance themselves. Liking anime is just the most visible part of it; those who looked would note a pronounced buddhist influence on my opinions, a good grasp on Japanese history, an interest in tea & tea ceremony that exceeds my affection even for anime, and of course a dedicated study of the language. I have a broad appreciation for most parts of what Japan does. Gradually and by degrees I have come to hold an increasing amount of their values as my own, and like a good immigrant I seek to eventually achieve totality of assimilation. (I also recognize this is impossible, and that I will always be a foreigner. Any hypothetical children I had would by nature of their halfbreed blood in such a homogenous society also be foreigners. I am at peace with that.) There is no room (or need) for my individual expression.
Saw this Saturday night, and thought of you, Lettowsan
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/j-pop/1389920/
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 12:32:32 PM
Raz, I have liked Japan for a long time. Anime fans and Japanophiles are different sorts; in fact, the former tends to resent the latter and try to distance themselves. Liking anime is just the most visible part of it; those who looked would note a pronounced buddhist influence on my opinions, a good grasp on Japanese history, an interest in tea & tea ceremony that exceeds my affection even for anime, and of course a dedicated study of the language. I have a broad appreciation for most parts of what Japan does.
You state you appreciate "what Japan does", but you only cite Japanese history, language, buddhism, anime, and tea.
There's a hell of a lot about Japan that is also crass and vulgar. And I don't pretend to know Japan at all.
Unless and until you come to terms with that you're going to be sadly disappointed with Nippon.
Oh, I know. Japan isn't gensokyo- it's still a place in this earth. It has plenty of things I don't like. It has more things I like than I listed; it is an entire country with a particularly distinctive way of doing things, so of course it is going to have an entire nation's worth of aspects. On the balance, I like most of them.
But really, Barrister, I think you more than most people would be happy to see me disappointed. It absolutely won't happen; There is no scenario existent in which I will withdraw from Japan in disgrace, unhappiness and disappointment.
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 02:46:59 PM
But really, Barrister, I think you more than most people would be happy to see me disappointed.
I'm sorry you feel this way Lettow. I hate your casual racism, but I don't hate you and wish you all the best. I hope you find what you are looking for - I merely predict you won't find it.
By the way and speaking of racism, you do know that Japan is a deeply racist culture, right?
I mentioned my one-time Japanese high school girlfriend. Did I ever mention that I was told in no uncertain terms I would EVER meet her family, as they would not approve of her going out with a white boy.
I do! I do I do I do!
Needless to say it was difficult, and there was much soul-searching and I had to find myself
but eventually I came to terms with Japan's horrible racist ways
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 02:54:54 PM
but eventually I came to terms with Japan's horrible racist ways
Not that difficult, what with jerking off into that Confederate flag under your bed all these years.
As i've said before, it's an opportunity for me to be the subservient, happy and docile minority we've always wanted
I'll keep my head down and do what Real Folks tell me, until they want to be entertained
then i'll say whatever I most think they want to hear an amerifat say.
"O yassuh I had three guns back home, mmhm, and eatin dat buttuh out de tub sho' is good"
I gotta admit, Lettow as American cultural ambassador and exemplar to Japan is gonna be amusing. :D
anyone else foresee lettow using scotch tape to try to pass as japanese?
and as always, the face eating. There will be face eating one day.
I intend to spread Confederate propaganda when I can get away with it. I don't think there are many more fertile audiences- They don't know much about the subject, don't have hangups about mistreatment of slaves, and I can try to peddle a story of common victimhood in which the North nukes Japan and burns Atlanta without any provocation whatsoever :)
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2012, 02:53:29 PM
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 02:46:59 PM
But really, Barrister, I think you more than most people would be happy to see me disappointed.
I'm sorry you feel this way Lettow. I hate your casual racism, but I don't hate you and wish you all the best. I hope you find what you are looking for - I merely predict you won't find it.
He's confusing you with me Beeb
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 02:58:49 PM
As i've said before, it's an opportunity for me to be the subservient, happy and docile minority we've always wanted
:yeahright:
Did I mention how much I hate your casual racism?
I owe languish a debt- now I've got this rapturous joie de vivre from imagining the stories I'll spin
ho ho, such a gentle life of yukkuri- athens upon the cumberland was despoiled by foul mixed-blood hirelings
The aristocracy and responsible rulers of the land were overrun by wanton pursuit of lucre
IT WAS SO LIKE THE EDO PERIOD
the employless warriors become aesthetes, and the floating world seemed to stretch on forever
when the foul Black Ships of abolition came and opened our sacred, sheltered South and changed it irrevocably
ee! It is so possible to love the South, languish, provided one confines it to a South of fantasy, a South that was or may never have been
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 03:01:46 PM
I intend to spread Confederate propaganda when I can get away with it. I don't think there are many more fertile audiences- They don't know much about the subject, don't have hangups about mistreatment of slaves, and I can try to peddle a story of common victimhood in which the North nukes Japan and burns Atlanta without any provocation whatsoever :)
The problem is that the Japanese respect success (however won) and distain failure. :hmm:
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2012, 03:06:13 PM
Did I mention how much I hate your casual racism?
Subservience is the grist that turns the wheels of civilized society
It's both lubricating and delicious, akin to bacon grease
Quote from: HVC on March 14, 2012, 03:01:10 PM
and as always, the face eating. There will be face eating one day.
In Japan, that's no barrier to popularity!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Issei_Sagawa
A Lettow role model? :hmm:
Quote from: Malthus on March 14, 2012, 03:08:27 PM
The problem is that the Japanese respect success (however won) and distain failure. :hmm:
Which is why I wonder how the Samurai got their reputation for loyalty considering they seem to have bandwagonned on the winning team every chance they got.
Quote from: Malthus on March 14, 2012, 03:10:04 PM
Quote from: HVC on March 14, 2012, 03:01:10 PM
and as always, the face eating. There will be face eating one day.
In Japan, that's no barrier to popularity!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Issei_Sagawa
A Lettow role model? :hmm:
Minorities are always after a piece of our* white women. This guy just took it a bit too literally.
*i'm white... i think. i'm not too sure how they line is divided :lol:
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 03:09:28 PM
It's both lubricating and delicious,
Right then. That's enough of that, now.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmeghanshearer.typepad.com%2F.a%2F6a013485acc208970c015436d4a40c970c-800wi&hash=42e6e8829d21c7806c19179d66f73451ec1de48f)
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 14, 2012, 08:43:13 AM
sexual intercourse is pig disgusting and attendant to the highest feelings of shame and revulsion
Wrong, at least with regards to heterosexual sex.