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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Queequeg on March 03, 2012, 12:04:45 PM

Title: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Queequeg on March 03, 2012, 12:04:45 PM
Let's just say that you somehow win the Russian election, and that you
A) Like Russia and Russians
B) Want to pursue Russia's geopolitical interests
C) Have a limited interest in your own personal wealth, and instead are interested in building institutions and normalizing Russia


Russia has a pretty unique combination of almost unlimited potential with some of the most serious problems facing any middle-income country.  Putin has made a lot of these problems worse, or at best ignored them.    What would you do?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Razgovory on March 03, 2012, 12:27:03 PM
I'd get out of the country before Putin found out.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: The Brain on March 03, 2012, 12:53:47 PM
If I liked Russia? Can't really say, the thought never occurred to me.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Neil on March 03, 2012, 12:55:07 PM
Russia's potential is limited by the fact that it is inhabited by Russians.  An English-speaking people would do much better.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Viking on March 03, 2012, 01:43:51 PM
Get a polonium/ice-pick detector.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on March 03, 2012, 01:55:44 PM
Nuke myself from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Crazy_Ivan80 on March 03, 2012, 02:05:31 PM
becomes states 51 to 100 of the US
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 03, 2012, 02:07:51 PM
Invade Poland, liquidate the population.

Then be hailed as savior of Europe.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Neil on March 03, 2012, 02:20:42 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 03, 2012, 02:07:51 PM
Invade Poland, liquidate the population.

Then be hailed as savior of Europe.
Not bad.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: PDH on March 03, 2012, 02:46:47 PM
I would party in vats of grapes with nubile women.

Then I would lead a cavalry charge and kill Poles.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: garbon on March 03, 2012, 03:06:11 PM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on March 03, 2012, 01:55:44 PM
Nuke myself from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

That's what I thought when clicking on the thread. :hug:
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 03, 2012, 03:15:53 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 02:46:47 PM
I would party in vats of grapes with nubile women.

Then I would lead a cavalry charge and kill Poles.

Very Budenny.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Lettow77 on March 03, 2012, 03:54:31 PM
 Sell the Kurils and Sakhalin to Japan for a far larger sum than they are worth, continue subverting Ukranian democracy and leaning heavily on Georgia. Main foreign policy objectives are the eventual re-annexation of Georgia/Ukraine/Byellorussia. Internally, invest in Siberian infrastructure and take steps to solve the demographic crisis.

Really, Russia is mostly going in the direction i'd take it in already.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: The Brain on March 03, 2012, 03:55:33 PM
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 03, 2012, 03:54:31 PM
and take steps to solve the demographic crisis.

Crisis? Too many kulaks?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: FunkMonk on March 03, 2012, 03:58:57 PM
Typical Languish answers. :lol:
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: DGuller on March 03, 2012, 04:14:28 PM
The better question is:  "What can you do?"  Russian politics are Byzantine, and your power depends on a lot of really horrible people.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: The Brain on March 03, 2012, 04:16:33 PM
Quote from: DGuller on March 03, 2012, 04:14:28 PM
The better question is:  "What can you do?"  Russian politics are Byzantine, and your power depends on a lot of really horrible people.

:huh: Russia isn't a democracy.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Viking on March 03, 2012, 04:18:28 PM
Take Septimus Severus' advice to his sons with one exception, rather than enriching the army enrich the oprichniki.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on March 03, 2012, 04:56:36 PM
Perhaps establish an alliance with the US to enforce peace, a codominion if you will, that will allow the human race to travel the stars.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: PDH on March 03, 2012, 05:36:24 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 03, 2012, 03:15:53 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 02:46:47 PM
I would party in vats of grapes with nubile women.

Then I would lead a cavalry charge and kill Poles.

Very Budenny.

The man was under-rated as a top-notch partyer.  It was not his fault he was born 150 years too late.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: The Brain on March 03, 2012, 05:36:58 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 05:36:24 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 03, 2012, 03:15:53 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 02:46:47 PM
I would party in vats of grapes with nubile women.

Then I would lead a cavalry charge and kill Poles.

Very Budenny.

The man was under-rated as a top-notch partyer.  It was not his fault he was born 150 years too late.

World record?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: DGuller on March 03, 2012, 06:29:39 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 05:36:24 PM
The man was under-rated as a top-notch partyer.  It was not his fault he was born 150 years too late.
The man had his faults, but kill rate during the war was very exceptional.  If he were a German, he would be highly decorated.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: PDH on March 03, 2012, 06:36:05 PM
Quote from: DGuller on March 03, 2012, 06:29:39 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 05:36:24 PM
The man was under-rated as a top-notch partyer.  It was not his fault he was born 150 years too late.
The man had his faults, but kill rate during the war was very exceptional.  If he were a German, he would be highly decorated.

It wasn't just that war that made his reputation.  He was so busy with cavalry charges against that Poles he lost that war.  Come on, he could have won medals for that too.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 03, 2012, 07:05:46 PM
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on March 03, 2012, 04:56:36 PM
Perhaps establish an alliance with the US to enforce peace, a codominion if you will, that will allow the human race to travel the stars.

I saw what you did there.

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FoEVvE.jpg&hash=2840bb0c3e7f37013b58ace9d2a8bb1dd5a45664)
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Siege on March 03, 2012, 08:39:58 PM
Whatever happens to be the smart and sensible answer, the russians will do the exact opposite.

Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ideologue on March 03, 2012, 09:39:07 PM
Two chicks at the same time.  And I think if I were the President of Russia, I could hook that up.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Siege on March 03, 2012, 09:46:39 PM
Why are the russians always a problem?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Scipio on March 03, 2012, 09:48:54 PM
I'd rewrite the Constitution and invite a puppet Romanoff to serve as a constitutional monarch.  Except all the one's I've met are total entitled cunts.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Razgovory on March 03, 2012, 09:56:35 PM
Quote from: Scipio on March 03, 2012, 09:48:54 PM
I'd rewrite the Constitution and invite a puppet Romanoff to serve as a constitutional monarch.  Except all the one's I've met are total entitled cunts.

That's a good idea actually.  A Monarchy on the British model means that there would be at least one person of influence and importance that Putin couldn't threaten or murder.  A new Czar could give some stability and legitimacy to government.  It would also give Russia a decent symbol of state.  The pageantry of government can be important to multi-ethnic state, it gives all the people something in common.  At least if it's done well.

And yes, I'm am developing monarchist tendencies.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Siege on March 03, 2012, 10:01:08 PM
Why do we want good things to happen to Russia?
I say the more 3rd world they are the better for the rest of the world.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Syt on March 04, 2012, 05:13:36 AM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg33.imageshack.us%2Fimg33%2F3303%2Fsytin.jpg&hash=d7f85375b4863276ecbb4609a85276ee62485c4e)

:p
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Syt on March 04, 2012, 06:06:18 AM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdesmond.imageshack.us%2FHimg99%2Fscaled.php%3Fserver%3D99%26amp%3Bfilename%3Dscandalc.jpg%26amp%3Bres%3Dmedium&hash=5b3d7b4c342a550fa3bfbec29e7709544ee198b6)

That's my party's head complaining about me. Popularity is about 30%. People weren't happy that I slashed healthcare in order to give tax breaks to the industry.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Solmyr on March 04, 2012, 07:44:37 AM
Is that from some game?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on March 04, 2012, 08:00:45 AM
Quote from: Solmyr on March 04, 2012, 07:44:37 AM
Is that from some game?

No, just what passes for grammar checking and photography in Moscow.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Viking on March 04, 2012, 08:00:52 AM
Quote from: Lettow77 on March 03, 2012, 03:54:31 PM
Buy Alaska from Russia for a far smaller sum than they are worth, continue subverting Virginian democracy and leaning heavily on Georgia. Main foreign policy objectives are the eventual re-annexation of Georgia/Virginia/Texas. Internally, invest in Western infrastructure and take steps to solve the slavery crisis.

Really, The Union is mostly going in the direction i'd take it in already.

Lettow, really?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Neil on March 04, 2012, 09:43:42 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on March 03, 2012, 09:39:07 PM
Two chicks at the same time.  And I think if I were the President of Russia, I could hook that up.
What, you've never done that before?
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 04, 2012, 01:56:47 PM
Quote from: Neil on March 04, 2012, 09:43:42 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on March 03, 2012, 09:39:07 PM
Two chicks at the same time.  And I think if I were the President of Russia, I could hook that up.
What, you've never done that before?


Ide is such a n00b.
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Martinus on March 04, 2012, 01:58:58 PM
Quote from: PDH on March 03, 2012, 02:46:47 PM
I would party in vats of grapes with nubile women.

Then I would lead a cavalry charge and kill Poles.
:D
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ideologue on March 04, 2012, 02:46:23 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 04, 2012, 01:56:47 PM
Quote from: Neil on March 04, 2012, 09:43:42 AM
Quote from: Ideologue on March 03, 2012, 09:39:07 PM
Two chicks at the same time.  And I think if I were the President of Russia, I could hook that up.
What, you've never done that before?


Ide is such a n00b.

Depends on what is meant by "do" and to what level I'm willing to spin it, but sure, why not.

(It's just a reference to Office Space. :P )
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Ed Anger on March 04, 2012, 02:50:55 PM
I got the reference.  :)
Title: Re: What Would You Do As President of Russia?
Post by: Lettow77 on March 04, 2012, 02:56:23 PM
Quote from: Viking on March 04, 2012, 08:00:52 AM

Lettow, really?

Being the president of Russia in this scenario presupposes you are an autocrat that has little regard for others' sovereignty beyond what is expedient for Russia.