How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand? I think it is quite awkward and I would assume that after the deed is done, your partner (or you, depending on the place) should go home, and you can consider sleeping over only the next time you meet (assuming you do).
Or am I too psycho about it?
If the situation were reversed, what would you want him to do?
I don't know anything about the gay sex scene.
But as a hetero, if you have sex you should expect, even want, your partner to spend the night.
Too psycho.
Quote from: Barrister on February 25, 2010, 03:09:16 AM
I don't know anything about the gay sex scene.
But as a hetero, if you have sex you should expect, even want, your partner to spend the night.
No, not all sex is emotional. You're such a girly.
What if the sex sucks? IMO it is awkward to plan for this in advance. Of course if later you decide you or him should stay over, it's fine, but it makes me feel anxious to plan for it like this. I would not expect to sleep over at someone's place either.
Of course, if someone is traveling from another city to meet you and they are not staying at a hotel, then obviously you have to bite the bullet (although I would always plan for this contingency if I was the one traveling, and either made sure I had ample time to catch a train home or was prepared to pay for one night at a hotel), but I am talking about people from the same area here.
Quote from: The Brain on February 25, 2010, 03:09:34 AM
Too psycho.
Well I don't enjoy sleeping with someone unless I'm really in love (and even then I have trouble falling asleep and whatnot). You are not in love after one sex.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:11:29 AM
but I am talking about people from the same area here.
Why would you invite him to sleep over in that case?
Quote from: Viking on February 25, 2010, 03:06:21 AM
If the situation were reversed, what would you want him to do?
Reversed in what direction? I.e. he staying at my place or I at his?
Quote from: The Brain on February 25, 2010, 03:14:30 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:11:29 AM
but I am talking about people from the same area here.
Why would you invite him to sleep over in that case?
Are you being serious or joking? :P
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:15:03 AM
Quote from: Viking on February 25, 2010, 03:06:21 AM
If the situation were reversed, what would you want him to do?
Reversed in what direction? I.e. he staying at my place or I at his?
If you were in his situation and he were in your. Basically how would you want yourself to behave?
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:16:20 AM
Quote from: The Brain on February 25, 2010, 03:14:30 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:11:29 AM
but I am talking about people from the same area here.
Why would you invite him to sleep over in that case?
Are you being serious or joking? :P
Serious. I assume he brought it up?
Yeah. We met for a no-sex date on Sunday and we have a lot in common etc. but he is not my usual type. So we are having a sex date tonight and he brought up how fun it will be to spend an evening and a night together. I'm now being anxious because, especially if sex sucks, it will be very awkward to get out of it. So I want to make up a preemptive excuse why he can't stay over (e.g. have to get up early for work tomorrow or whatnot) but before I do I just wanted to have a reality check if my behaviour is normal or neurotic (in the latter case I will still do it so he does not stay over, but I guess I will try to seek therapy for my intimacy issues :P).
Also
LET ME BACK INTO TBR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! :mad:
:nelson:
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:25:41 AM
Also
LET ME BACK INTO TBR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! :mad:
Thanks for giving us all an insight into what TBR is really like. I'm glad I don't have access. This is entertaining once in a while, but not every day.
Quote from: Viking on February 25, 2010, 03:35:38 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:25:41 AM
Also
LET ME BACK INTO TBR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! :mad:
Thanks for giving us all an insight into what TBR is really like. I'm glad I don't have access. This is entertaining once in a while, but not every day.
No kidding.
Quote from: Viking on February 25, 2010, 03:35:38 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:25:41 AM
Also
LET ME BACK INTO TBR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! :mad:
Thanks for giving us all an insight into what TBR is really like. I'm glad I don't have access. This is entertaining once in a while, but not every day.
It's more teary and TMI there. :P
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 04:40:34 AM
Quote from: Viking on February 25, 2010, 03:35:38 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:25:41 AM
Also
LET ME BACK INTO TBR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! :mad:
Thanks for giving us all an insight into what TBR is really like. I'm glad I don't have access. This is entertaining once in a while, but not every day.
It's more teary and TMI there. :P
All the more reason to be happy I'm not in there.
I guess you gays have it good. Women get all bitchy if you fuck and run.
I'd say the rule is it depends on how far away the stay-overer lives, how hard it is to get there, etc...
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:02:14 AM
How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand?
Generally women don't want to arrange a first "sex date" at all
Quote from: DisturbedPervert on February 25, 2010, 06:29:17 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:02:14 AM
How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand?
Generally women don't want to arrange a first "sex date" at all
What do you mean by that? Not fucking on the first date (which is not the case here) or not arranging for "ok this time we have sex"?
Quote from: DisturbedPervert on February 25, 2010, 06:29:17 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:02:14 AM
How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand?
Generally women don't want to arrange a first "sex date" at all
So annoying.
Well, it's part of the deal. Gays got the right to drink sweet cocktails, better bodies and an access to easy sex. Straights got all the child raising business and not getting tied to a fence in Wyoming. I think we got a better end of the deal tbh, but you can't have it both ways.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 06:42:29 AM
Well, it's part of the deal. Gays got the right to drink sweet cocktails, better bodies and an access to easy sex. Straights got all the child raising business and not getting tied to a fence in Wyoming. I think we got a better end of the deal tbh, but you can't have it both ways.
Thanks for the HIV crossover, fags.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on February 25, 2010, 06:44:17 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 06:42:29 AM
Well, it's part of the deal. Gays got the right to drink sweet cocktails, better bodies and an access to easy sex. Straights got all the child raising business and not getting tied to a fence in Wyoming. I think we got a better end of the deal tbh, but you can't have it both ways.
Thanks for the HIV crossover, fags.
That's only there because of the goddamned bisexuals.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 06:48:36 AM
That's only there because of the goddamned bisexuals.
You mean gays that live secret lives as family men ON DA DOWN LOW?
Quote from: CountDeMoney on February 25, 2010, 06:51:01 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 06:48:36 AM
That's only there because of the goddamned bisexuals.
You mean gays that live secret lives as family men ON DA DOWN LOW?
That too but the risk such guys pose is much lower since they usually don't fuck more women than just their own wives.
But their wives are sluts.
@Viking, more reason to get in now that Martinus has been shun.
Quote from: Grey Fox on February 25, 2010, 07:09:17 AM
But their wives are sluts.
@Viking, more reason to get in now that Martinus has been shun.
Hmmm, you make a valid point. Norgy and his never explained hatred of me have departed. But Seedy remains. So, no need for me to even consider it.
TBR Seedy is fun!
Let me understand.
As a hetero, a sex date equals "sticking one's penis into the woman's vagina".
As a homo, it should be "sticking one's penis into the other man's butt".
If you're not performing buttsex, you're not having homosexual sex. So you're not a homosexual per se, just some metrosexual that likes to suck long, cuddly things.
So it it's not homo sex and not love (as in Martinus' case), then it means that he basically has to choose between sleeping or not sleeping with a long, cuddly "teddybear". Which is, honestly, a problem more suited to be answered by a three year-old, than mature individuals, that enjoy the presence of human beings in their lives (and beds).
Alexandru's post was strangely disturbing.
Anyway, I think most people would expect to stay the night. But a friend met a hookup at a bar a couple weeks ago, and she robbed him blind after he was passed out.
So be warned, Marti. And afraid.
Arrange breakfast sex dates in future. Less pressure and you have the whole day ahead of you.
I have my sex dates in underground dungeons where the question of night and day is meaningless.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:24:01 AM
Yeah. We met for a no-sex date on Sunday and we have a lot in common etc. but he is not my usual type. So we are having a sex date tonight and he brought up how fun it will be to spend an evening and a night together. I'm now being anxious because, especially if sex sucks, it will be very awkward to get out of it. So I want to make up a preemptive excuse why he can't stay over (e.g. have to get up early for work tomorrow or whatnot) but before I do I just wanted to have a reality check if my behaviour is normal or neurotic (in the latter case I will still do it so he does not stay over, but I guess I will try to seek therapy for my intimacy issues :P).
Don't take this to harshly but are you OCD or something? What is a "no-sex" date? Do you plan ahead when you will or will not have sex? I think most people let it occur naturally especially when they are first dating. And, yes, I would have my partner sleep over. If I didn't than how could we have sex again that night or in the morning? Especially if the first time they weren't that good I would want to make sure it wasn't a fluke or nerves.
Quote from: Strix on February 25, 2010, 09:48:49 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:24:01 AM
Yeah. We met for a no-sex date on Sunday and we have a lot in common etc. but he is not my usual type. So we are having a sex date tonight and he brought up how fun it will be to spend an evening and a night together. I'm now being anxious because, especially if sex sucks, it will be very awkward to get out of it. So I want to make up a preemptive excuse why he can't stay over (e.g. have to get up early for work tomorrow or whatnot) but before I do I just wanted to have a reality check if my behaviour is normal or neurotic (in the latter case I will still do it so he does not stay over, but I guess I will try to seek therapy for my intimacy issues :P).
Don't take this to harshly but are you OCD or something? What is a "no-sex" date? Do you plan ahead when you will or will not have sex? I think most people let it occur naturally especially when they are first dating. And, yes, I would have my partner sleep over. If I didn't than how could we have sex again that night or in the morning? Especially if the first time they weren't that good I would want to make sure it wasn't a fluke or nerves.
Mart is gay.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:02:14 AM
How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand? I think it is quite awkward and I would assume that after the deed is done, your partner (or you, depending on the place) should go home, and you can consider sleeping over only the next time you meet (assuming you do).
Or am I too psycho about it?
Once the tool has performed its function the tool must remove itself. Or I remove myself if I'm elsewhere. Sleeping with a stranger is unpleasant. Hell sleeping with anyone is unpleasant. So just inform him before the balls get rolling that you prefer to sleep alone.
G.
Strix are you retarded? Of course you know if you end up in bed or not. Unlike your kind, we engage in different activities in bed, so one obviously discussed these things in advance (unless it's a total stranger hook up, in which case it's certain there will be sex involved, so one does not talk about it).
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 10:22:28 AM
Strix are you retarded? Of course you know if you end up in bed or not. Unlike your kind, we engage in different activities in bed, so one obviously discussed these things in advance (unless it's a total stranger hook up, in which case it's certain there will be sex involved, so one does not talk about it).
:huh:
I don't do this.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:02:14 AM
How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand? I think it is quite awkward and I would assume that after the deed is done, your partner (or you, depending on the place) should go home, and you can consider sleeping over only the next time you meet (assuming you do).
Or am I too psycho about it?
I never expected it but would always plan that we would come back to my place and have sex...just in case it did happen it was a good policy to be ready.
But yeah you do not talk about arranging sex with women on the first date.
They were always welcome to stay but generally once the deed was done they would go home.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 06:42:29 AM
Gays got the right to drink sweet cocktails, better bodies and an access to easy sex.
Drinking incredibly high calorie drinks like cocktails don't really help the second part...just sayin.
In general I would always expect a chick to spend the night, early on at least. If she didn't want to I'd assume it's because she has a boyfriend.
Quote from: DisturbedPervert on February 25, 2010, 12:04:30 PM
In general I would always expect a chick to spend the night, early on at least. If she didn't want to I'd assume it's because she has a boyfriend.
Relationships start with sex. If you're hanging out with a girl and you don't have sex with her you're not going out, you're friends.
But don't you like to cuddle?! :wub:
Quote from: Korea on February 25, 2010, 12:53:16 PM
But don't you like to cuddle?! :wub:
I am unable to cuddle and sleep at the same time. So I just cuddle until she drifts off then do the old hug and roll.
Quote from: Valmy on February 25, 2010, 01:08:32 PM
Quote from: Korea on February 25, 2010, 12:53:16 PM
But don't you like to cuddle?! :wub:
I am unable to cuddle and sleep at the same time. So I just cuddle until she drifts off then do the old hug and roll.
Yeah, it's the same with me. If I cuddle and try to sleep I keep waking up every 10-15 minutes or so.
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 10:22:28 AM
Strix are you retarded? Of course you know if you end up in bed or not. Unlike your kind, we engage in different activities in bed, so one obviously discussed these things in advance (unless it's a total stranger hook up, in which case it's certain there will be sex involved, so one does not talk about it).
I keep forgetting that your kind isn't human. That's what your saying right? Never having had a gay date, I assumed that there wasn't that much difference between a gay relationship and a straight relationship. Apparently homosexuals are OCD as a rule.
Thanks for the info!
Even when I'm dating someone, I don't really like them sleeping over. Keeps me awake.
Since only married people should have sex, of course you should stay in your home :pope:
Quote from: chipwich on February 25, 2010, 01:34:03 PM
Since only married people should have sex, of course you should stay in your home :pope:
Go back to your own bed though.
Quote from: Valmy on February 25, 2010, 11:57:18 AM
Drinking incredibly high calorie drinks like cocktails don't really help the second part...just sayin.
It does when that's the main source of your calories in a day. :D
If it is late at night, let them stay over. If it is earlier in the evening (or day) give them the boot.
Is Languish: a forum for teenagers?
Quote from: Grallon on February 25, 2010, 10:01:36 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 03:02:14 AM
How do you feel about it, especially arranging for it beforehand? I think it is quite awkward and I would assume that after the deed is done, your partner (or you, depending on the place) should go home, and you can consider sleeping over only the next time you meet (assuming you do).
Or am I too psycho about it?
Once the tool has performed its function the tool must remove itself. Or I remove myself if I'm elsewhere. Sleeping with a stranger is unpleasant. Hell sleeping with anyone is unpleasant. So just inform him before the balls get rolling that you prefer to sleep alone.
G.
Heh, referring to one's date as a "tool that has performed its function" isn't exactly the height of romance. :D
On a serious note though, people vary widely on whether they like others sleeping in the same bed. I actually prefer it now, so long as that other is my wife.
Quote from: Malthus on February 25, 2010, 04:22:20 PM
Heh, referring to one's date as a "tool that has performed its function" isn't exactly the height of romance. :D
*shrug* Most sex is assisted masturbation anyway. And romance is in the eye of the beholder ;)
G.
Quote from: Malthus on February 25, 2010, 04:22:20 PM
On a serious note though, people vary widely on whether they like others sleeping in the same bed. I actually prefer it now, so long as that other is my wife.
Yeah it is hard to sleep now when she isn't there....and by she I mean my wife...and um...let me start again:
I find it hard to sleep now when my wife is not sleeping in my bed with me.
Quote from: Valmy on February 25, 2010, 01:08:32 PM
Quote from: Korea on February 25, 2010, 12:53:16 PM
But don't you like to cuddle?! :wub:
I am unable to cuddle and sleep at the same time. So I just cuddle until she drifts off then do the old hug and roll.
I find that cuddling makes it easier to sleep but Ide hates it and won't let me anymore. :(
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 01:11:53 PM
Quote from: Valmy on February 25, 2010, 01:08:32 PM
Quote from: Korea on February 25, 2010, 12:53:16 PM
But don't you like to cuddle?! :wub:
I am unable to cuddle and sleep at the same time. So I just cuddle until she drifts off then do the old hug and roll.
Yeah, it's the same with me. If I cuddle and try to sleep I keep waking up every 10-15 minutes or so.
Maybe it's a girl thing? :unsure:
Quote from: Delirium on February 25, 2010, 04:07:40 PM
Is Languish: a forum for teenagers?
Or for a lot of single people.
Quote from: Korea on February 26, 2010, 12:08:41 AM
I find that cuddling makes it easier to sleep but Ide hates it and won't let me anymore. :(
It does for my wife to. Unfortunately being that close to another human's body heat makes me too hot, and I don't mean in the good way.
Quote from: Valmy on February 26, 2010, 12:44:27 AM
Quote from: Korea on February 26, 2010, 12:08:41 AM
I find that cuddling makes it easier to sleep but Ide hates it and won't let me anymore. :(
It does for my wife to. Unfortunately being that close to another human's body heat makes me too hot, and I don't mean in the good way.
Aw, that makes sense but I love it to be freezing in my home so the extra body heat is way welcome.
Quote from: Strix on February 25, 2010, 01:24:49 PM
Quote from: Martinus on February 25, 2010, 10:22:28 AM
Strix are you retarded? Of course you know if you end up in bed or not. Unlike your kind, we engage in different activities in bed, so one obviously discussed these things in advance (unless it's a total stranger hook up, in which case it's certain there will be sex involved, so one does not talk about it).
I keep forgetting that your kind isn't human. That's what your saying right?
No, that means we are men, not cunt-slaves. The only reason you are not asking the chick to give you head or lick your balls (and instead "you are going with the flow") is that if you did, she would slap you. No such inhibitions between guys.
Besides, I am not saying we discuss things like "ok, tonight we go with number 2, 4, 6 and 7" but instead we normally discuss our likes and dislikes before we have sex (unless it's a bar hook up - which is why internet dating is superior, because you don't end up in bed only to realise the guy only likes it if someone takes a dump on him). That way, if you discuss such things before a date, you have a kind of indication sex is being planned. (As opposed to when you, say, arrange a date in a coffee shop and tell you have only one hour to meet etc.)
Quote from: Grallon on February 25, 2010, 04:45:08 PM
Quote from: Malthus on February 25, 2010, 04:22:20 PM
Heh, referring to one's date as a "tool that has performed its function" isn't exactly the height of romance. :D
*shrug* Most sex is assisted masturbation anyway. And romance is in the eye of the beholder ;)
G.
To quote Quentin Crisp, sex is a poor substitute for masturbation. :P
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 02:53:29 AM
To quote Quentin Crisp, sex is a poor substitute for masturbation. :P
Ain't that the fucking truth.
I may have masturbated once or twice in my life, and I've found that even relatively unsatisfying vaginal sex was far, far superior to masturbation.
Your mileage may vary.
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 02:50:34 AM
we normally discuss our likes and dislikes before we have sex (unless it's a bar hook up - which is why internet dating is superior, because you don't end up in bed only to realise the guy only likes it if someone takes a dump on him).
The only reason I'd do that was if I needed some bizarre fetish like being pissed on and needed to make sure the hooker would do it.
Quote from: Barrister on February 26, 2010, 03:14:28 AM
I may have masturbated once or twice in my life.
:blink:
I may have masturbated once or twice in the last 12 hours.
Quote from: DisturbedPervert on February 26, 2010, 03:23:52 AM
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 02:50:34 AM
we normally discuss our likes and dislikes before we have sex (unless it's a bar hook up - which is why internet dating is superior, because you don't end up in bed only to realise the guy only likes it if someone takes a dump on him).
The only reason I'd do that was if I needed some bizarre fetish like being pissed on and needed to make sure the hooker would do it.
That's closer to vanilla on the "bizarre fetish" scale.
Anyway, unlike hetero sex, gay sex always requires some negotiation, by the very nature of it.
Even if all gay guys were into anal (and they aren't), you have to negotiate things like being a top and being a bottom, for example, whereas heteros have these roles predefined by biology. Gay sex teaches you to compromise. :P
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 03:24:04 AM
Quote from: Barrister on February 26, 2010, 03:14:28 AM
I may have masturbated once or twice in my life.
:blink:
I may have masturbated once or twice in the last 12 hours.
I may have also downplayed certain facts once or twice in my life. -_-
Maybe I should try being a top. :unsure:
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 03:37:08 AM
Maybe I should try being a top. :unsure:
Thanks, but I'm not interested in being your bottom Marty. :)
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 02:50:34 AM
No, that means we are men, not cunt-slaves. The only reason you are not asking the chick to give you head or lick your balls (and instead "you are going with the flow") is that if you did, she would slap you. No such inhibitions between guys.
Besides, I am not saying we discuss things like "ok, tonight we go with number 2, 4, 6 and 7" but instead we normally discuss our likes and dislikes before we have sex (unless it's a bar hook up - which is why internet dating is superior, because you don't end up in bed only to realise the guy only likes it if someone takes a dump on him). That way, if you discuss such things before a date, you have a kind of indication sex is being planned. (As opposed to when you, say, arrange a date in a coffee shop and tell you have only one hour to meet etc.)
Actually, it is more likely for the chick to give you head or lick your balls on the first date than to have intercourse. Head is only an extended part of foreplay. And, yes, heterosexuals discuss likes and dislikes ahead of time because that can be part of "going with the flow". Half of the excitement of a date is the uncertainty of how things will end.
If I've taken my clothes off and got on a bed then I WILL SLEEP. Regardless of whether it's the first or third (sex) date or, for that matter, IKEA.
Quote from: Martinus on February 26, 2010, 03:28:27 AM
Anyway, unlike hetero sex, gay sex always requires some negotiation, by the very nature of it.
Even if all gay guys were into anal (and they aren't), you have to negotiate things like being a top and being a bottom, for example, whereas heteros have these roles predefined by biology. Gay sex teaches you to compromise. :P
I rarely negotiate.
No, no, not there.
Quote from: Sheilbh on February 26, 2010, 11:04:56 PM
If I've taken my clothes off and got on a bed then I WILL SLEEP. Regardless of whether it's the first or third (sex) date or, for that matter, IKEA.
:D
Quote from: Barrister on February 26, 2010, 03:14:28 AM
I may have masturbated once or twice in my life, and I've found that even relatively unsatisfying vaginal sex was far, far superior to masturbation.
Your mileage may vary.
:o