Languish.org

General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Monoriu on July 21, 2009, 11:47:18 PM

Title: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Monoriu on July 21, 2009, 11:47:18 PM
At a training session attended by dozens of people from as many different departments.  Out of the blue, a woman approached.

"Hi, Mono, nice to meet you.  I'm [name].  Give me a call if you need anything. k?"

I was certain that I had not met her before.  There was no mention of the department that she belonged to.  Nothing on her job title.  Nada on how she knew me.  And of course nothing on the trivial question of why I wanted to have anything to do with her. 

The only clue that I had was the manner of the introduction.  She assumed that I knew all that before we even met.  She was certain that I could find her telephone number out of 160,000 civil servants by giving me her first name and absolutely nothing else.  Of course you know me.  And if you don't, you should.  Or rather, should have tried to find out before today.  Just like everybody else. 

Anybody want to guess who she was? 
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Razgovory on July 22, 2009, 12:02:32 AM
Your wife?
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Tonitrus on July 22, 2009, 12:04:32 AM
She wants to have sex with you.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Weatherman on July 22, 2009, 12:12:20 AM
She wants to harvest your organs and leave you in an ice vat.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Tonitrus on July 22, 2009, 12:45:49 AM
Quote from: Weatherman on July 22, 2009, 12:12:20 AM
She wants to harvest your organs and leave you in an ice vat.

Ice vats are so 90's.  These days it's those exhibitions of skinless human bodies.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: HisMajestyBOB on July 22, 2009, 12:54:59 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on July 22, 2009, 12:02:32 AM
Your wife?

:lmfao:
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 12:59:48 AM
Quote from: Tonitrus on July 22, 2009, 12:04:32 AM
She wants to have sex with you.

I asked who she was.  Not what she wants  :P
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Barrister on July 22, 2009, 01:47:09 AM
Your boss's boss?
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 01:58:03 AM
Quote from: Barrister on July 22, 2009, 01:47:09 AM
Your boss's boss?

Nope.  I really would have made an effort to know everybody who are directly above me in the chain of command.  Besides, my boss's boss will not bother to introduce herself to me - it should be the other way round.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 02:44:40 AM
Only someone from the Personnel Department will operate on the "if you don't know me it is your fault" basis.  My "Career Development Officer", responsible for disciplinary actions, mandatory retirement, staff transfer, redundencies, and career stagnation in general.  The old one has been transferred out, and she is the replacement.  Investigator, Police, Prosecutor, Judge, Jury, and Executioner all in one.  Special Ability - assigning anyone to any office in the next 24 hours with the stroke of a pen. 

It was a message - I am watching you.  I hope she forgets about my existance and never, ever contacts me again.  Though I remember wishing for the same thing when her predecessor came. 
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: CountDeMoney on July 22, 2009, 05:15:22 AM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 02:44:40 AMIt was a message - I am watching you.  I hope she forgets about my existance and never, ever contacts me again.  Though I remember wishing for the same thing when her predecessor came.

God, I wish North Korea and China would invade South Korea again, just so we have an excuse to shoot you people. If only to put you out of your Borg misery.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Grey Fox on July 22, 2009, 06:06:01 AM
It's still better then paying Taxes it seems.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Josquius on July 22, 2009, 06:47:49 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on July 22, 2009, 12:02:32 AM
Your wife?
:lol:


Seriously...sounds like human resources or personnel or some such.
Have you asked colleagues about this?
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Caliga on July 22, 2009, 06:49:31 AM
This reminds me of something that happened to me at work like 5 years ago or so.  I'm pretty sure I started a Languish thread about it, too.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Valmy on July 22, 2009, 08:14:02 AM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 02:44:40 AM
It was a message - I am watching you.  I hope she forgets about my existance and never, ever contacts me again.  Though I remember wishing for the same thing when her predecessor came. 

Doh!  Keep your head down pal.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: DGuller on July 22, 2009, 08:54:32 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on July 22, 2009, 12:02:32 AM
Your wife?
:lmfao:
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Ed Anger on July 22, 2009, 09:38:43 AM
QuoteHow to introduce yourself to strangers

Let's talk about Jesus. Have you heard the good news?

Have I got an Amway product for you!
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: swallow on July 22, 2009, 03:00:56 PM
Quote"Hi, Mono, nice to meet you.  I'm [name].  Give me a call if you need anything. k?"

I was certain that I had not met her before.
She hadn't met you before. She was probably just one of the people running the course
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 07:56:00 PM
It has been confirmed that she is who I think she is.  There is also a blank page in every single one of my appraisal reports for her to fill in  :ph34r:

Though I don't understand how they can evaluate someone they know so little about.  But that's the way it is.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Admiral Yi on July 22, 2009, 07:58:06 PM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 07:56:00 PM
It has been confirmed that she is who I think she is.
Have you figured out the appropriate bribe?
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 07:59:39 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on July 22, 2009, 07:58:06 PM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 07:56:00 PM
It has been confirmed that she is who I think she is.
Have you figured out the appropriate bribe?

I usually maintain a zero contact policy.  That hasn't worked out so far.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Admiral Yi on July 22, 2009, 08:02:12 PM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 07:59:39 PM
I usually maintain a zero contact policy.  That hasn't worked out so far.
I recommend a lovely boxed MSG gift set.
Title: Re: How to introduce yourself to strangers
Post by: Razgovory on July 22, 2009, 10:30:08 PM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 22, 2009, 02:44:40 AM

It was a message - I am watching you.  I hope she forgets about my existance and never, ever contacts me again.  Though I remember wishing for the same thing when her predecessor came.

I used to get this vibe from people.  It's perfectly normal.  Now I'm protected by not leaving the house.  Then they can never spy on me!  You should try it.