http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/16/this-is-what-london-would-look-like-if-britains-spies-were-crp-5443282/#mv-a (http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/16/this-is-what-london-would-look-like-if-britains-spies-were-crp-5443282/#mv-a)
(https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/ad_184669777.jpg?w=748&h=554&crop=1)
QuoteEverything could have turned out so differently.
Networks of spies operating in the Tudor and Stuart times made a huge difference to the country's religion and politics, by foiling assassination plots against major religious and political leaders.
But their work also affected our architecture in really interesting ways.
Now, historians are looking into espionage in Early Modern times for a new documentary, 'History's Ultimate Spies'.
And they've come up with these pretty cool depictions of what London would have looked like had the spies been crap at their jobs.
'In the Tudor and Stuart periods, England was under tremendous pressure from the Catholicism of mainland Europe, and was a country in transition,' Dr Tracey Borman, chief curator for Historic Royal Palaces, said.
'These religious tensions birthed scores of assassination attempts from within and declarations of war from elsewhere, and the role of Britain's spies should not be underplayed when discussing how history eventually unravelled.'
Here are the landscapes Londoners missed out on.
The South Bank
All those pretty first-date walks you've taken on the South Bank would have been pretty different if a plot to assassinate Elizabeth I hadn't been foiled by Francis Walsingham and his team of spies.
Castles in particular would be a lot more Scottish, given that Mary Queen of Scots would have taken Elizabeth's place.
Although it's reassuring to see that we'd still have the London Eye.
The City of London
If Thomas Cromwell's spies hadn't guided Henry VIII through... well, life, then there might have been no Protestantism, and there never would have been a dissolution of the monasteries.
Which means there would now be monasteries everywhere.
Really, everywhere. Even right in front of the Gherkin.
Westminster
Apparently, if Guy Fawkes' gunpowder plot had succeeded, a much more opulent palace would have been built for James I's daughter Elizabeth, in the place of the Palace of Westminster.
This has to be the weirdest, and saddest, of them all.
Think about it – imagine not seeing the spires of the Houses of Parliament?
And Berlin if German spies hadn't been crap:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi13.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa299%2FSlayhem%2FBerlin.jpg&hash=14ba78a89d8ac4aec3264392377cb99c7973aa8c)
:(
Silly.
Hope there's a follow- up series, 'What would British mainstream tv documentaries look like, if produces weren't so unimaginative and didn't, in desperation, latch onto the thinnest of ideas?' :bowler:
Quote from: The Brain on October 16, 2015, 08:17:07 AM
And Berlin if German spies hadn't been crap:
Their spies would have had to be pretty damn awesome to have altered the outcome of the war.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on October 16, 2015, 09:48:36 AM
Quote from: The Brain on October 16, 2015, 08:17:07 AM
And Berlin if German spies hadn't been crap:
Their spies would have had to be pretty damn awesome to have altered the outcome of the war.
They might have given Hitler an accurate portrayal of Soviet Strength instead of just assuming their entire military potential was located within 200 kM of the Stalin Line.
Quote from: Brazen on October 16, 2015, 07:42:58 AM
Quote
If Thomas Cromwell's spies hadn't guided Henry VIII through... well, life, then there might have been no Protestantism, and there never would have been a dissolution of the monasteries.
Which means there would now be monasteries everywhere.
Really, everywhere. Even right in front of the Gherkin.
Just like how in countries like Italy and Poland you cannot go anywhere without stumbling into a monastery?
Quote from: Valmy on October 16, 2015, 10:27:28 AM
They might have given Hitler an accurate portrayal of Soviet Strength instead of just assuming their entire military potential was located within 200 kM of the Stalin Line.
You think that would have stopped Hitler from invading?
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on October 16, 2015, 10:53:26 AM
Quote from: Valmy on October 16, 2015, 10:27:28 AM
They might have given Hitler an accurate portrayal of Soviet Strength instead of just assuming their entire military potential was located within 200 kM of the Stalin Line.
You think that would have stopped Hitler from invading?
Even if it didn't the Germans would have had to adjust their plans. Maybe be better prepared for a winter campaign.
Good thing they didn't.
Quote from: Brazen on October 16, 2015, 07:42:58 AM
http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/16/this-is-what-london-would-look-like-if-britains-spies-were-crp-5443282/#mv-a (http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/16/this-is-what-london-would-look-like-if-britains-spies-were-crp-5443282/#mv-a)
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs23.postimg.org%2Ff5wnpx0tn%2F2014_06_15_00015.jpg&hash=5c894648da1d2814cc76d3cbb4a639f827f57d5d)
Glad to see Nazi London is less strict with its Gun Control policies.
If Britain's historic spies were carp:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi13.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa299%2FSlayhem%2Flondonwater_zpsly5vxo1r.jpg&hash=c52a10b488bd657365158d92400a917b48a00567)
Am I supposed to be upset at the idea that London might have a lot of Medieval monasteries?
Quote from: Queequeg on October 16, 2015, 04:21:50 PM
Am I supposed to be upset at the idea that London might have a lot of Medieval monasteries?
It would mean less room for comically big ferris wheels.
Quote from: Syt on October 16, 2015, 12:06:13 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs23.postimg.org%2Ff5wnpx0tn%2F2014_06_15_00015.jpg&hash=5c894648da1d2814cc76d3cbb4a639f827f57d5d)
A little interesting that highrises are associated with fascism, no?
Adequate housing strikes at the heart of everything it means to be British.
Quote from: Valmy on October 16, 2015, 10:28:34 AM
Quote from: Brazen on October 16, 2015, 07:42:58 AM
Quote
If Thomas Cromwell's spies hadn't guided Henry VIII through... well, life, then there might have been no Protestantism, and there never would have been a dissolution of the monasteries.
Which means there would now be monasteries everywhere.
Really, everywhere. Even right in front of the Gherkin.
Just like how in countries like Italy and Poland you cannot go anywhere without stumbling into a monastery?
Curiously enough, assuming the Gherkin got built in whatever alternate history left Catholicism intact in Britain, there would have been a nunnery near it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Helen%27s_Church,_Bishopsgate
One wonders if the article writer was inspired by the picture on that Wikipedia page.
Quote from: Queequeg on October 16, 2015, 04:21:50 PM
Am I supposed to be upset at the idea that London might have a lot of Medieval monasteries?
Yeah, it's like saying, "If the Bolsheviks lost, imagine Russia with more churches and less shitty apartments. How awful is that!"