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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Admiral Yi on May 05, 2015, 06:11:09 PM

Title: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 05, 2015, 06:11:09 PM
One of my nieces is graduating (home schooled) high school this spring.  I was going to send her a cash present, but then I realized I didn't give anything to her older brother (the gay one) when he graduated.  I also didn't give anything to my brother's two daughters.

So what should I do?  Not give anything to remain consistent and not play favorites?  Send a make-up check to her brother?

Not sure if it's accurate or not, but the perception is that this niece's family as not as well off as the other family.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: crazy canuck on May 05, 2015, 06:33:19 PM
I would wait for a private moment with her and give her the gift.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: dps on May 05, 2015, 07:28:09 PM
Give her the gift, and send a make=up check to her brother, with your apologies for not sending it at the time of his graduation.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: lustindarkness on May 05, 2015, 07:32:14 PM
Send it to me.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Eddie Teach on May 05, 2015, 08:05:41 PM
You're just an uncle, it's ok to have favorites.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: KRonn on May 05, 2015, 08:33:00 PM
I'd send her the gift, sounds like she may need it the most and I'm thinking part of your conundrum is that you want to give a gift to her. You don't necessarily have to give to everyone as it gets expensive and tedious, like with Christmas presents, but I wouldn't find it a problem to maybe give a late graduation gift, at least to her brother. Your other nieces may never know about or care, but I think that depends on how close you as you know the relationships. Though if it's too late it's probably too awkward now anyway.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: grumbler on May 05, 2015, 08:47:26 PM
You should probably send it to the nephew, explaining that you only now have the means (or some other credible white lie).  The sibs will compare notes, but not the cousins.  I'd not worry about the other nieces.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: PDH on May 05, 2015, 09:55:14 PM
You should go on a spree of coke and hookers, then after rehab tell anyone who listened that you would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those darned kids.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 05, 2015, 10:02:47 PM
Quote from: PDH on May 05, 2015, 09:55:14 PM
You should go on a spree of coke and hookers, then after rehab tell anyone who listened that you would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those darned kids.

Yours is slightly ahead of the beaner's.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Monoriu on May 05, 2015, 10:18:23 PM
I want to help Yi save money, so I say be consistent and not give anything.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Berkut on May 06, 2015, 02:12:44 AM
You should pay me for that hoops bet first.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Syt on May 06, 2015, 02:27:44 AM
If you want to extricate yourself from all future family functions, tell everyone that you refused to give to the brother because his life choices offend your moral sensibilities.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Martinus on May 06, 2015, 02:46:42 AM
Quote from: Syt on May 06, 2015, 02:27:44 AM
If you want to extricate yourself from all future family functions, tell everyone that you refused to give to the brother because his life choices offend your moral sensibilities.

This.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Martinus on May 06, 2015, 02:47:27 AM
Quote from: crazy canuck on May 05, 2015, 06:33:19 PM
I would wait for a private moment with her and give her the gift.

Gross.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on May 06, 2015, 06:35:43 AM
Use the money to buy some high end vodka, and get them drunk.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Ideologue on May 06, 2015, 07:52:51 AM
Quote from: Monoriu on May 05, 2015, 10:18:23 PM
I want to help Yi save money, so I say be consistent and not give anything.

Agree.  My peripheral relatives never gave me graduation gifts, and I graduated from three whole schools.  Fuck 'em.  It's the State's business to care for them.  Just vote for higher taxes.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Grey Fox on May 06, 2015, 07:57:48 AM
Why did you not give anything to the Brother? Why do you want to give money to the sister?

Home Schooled :x deserve NOTHING.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Ideologue on May 06, 2015, 07:58:31 AM
Actually, the home schooled probably need more given their disadvantages.  Agree on the :x part.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 06, 2015, 08:10:58 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 06, 2015, 07:57:48 AM
Why did you not give anything to the Brother? Why do you want to give money to the sister?

Home Schooled :x deserve NOTHING.

It think it has to do with the fact that he didn't do the whole apply to college and get accepted thing.  Instead he just sort of ran away from home.  So he could go gay it up.

In my mind I've always thought of HS graduation cash as cash for college.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: LaCroix on May 06, 2015, 08:13:08 AM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on May 06, 2015, 08:10:58 AMIn my mind I've always thought of HS graduation cash as cash for college.

for some, attending college essentially amounts to running away from home to go gay it up.

i'd take the embarrassment (which prob won't be embarrassing because the kid is getting free money) and give to both.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: Admiral Yi on May 17, 2015, 03:48:13 PM
Going with the make up. :sleep:
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: dps on May 17, 2015, 08:27:15 PM
Quote from: LaCroix on May 06, 2015, 08:13:08 AM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on May 06, 2015, 08:10:58 AMIn my mind I've always thought of HS graduation cash as cash for college.

for some, attending college essentially amounts to running away from home to go gay it up.

Even leaving out the gay part, for some folks going away to college amounts to a respectable way to run away from home.
Title: Re: Slight Conundrum
Post by: alfred russel on May 17, 2015, 10:09:32 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on May 06, 2015, 08:10:58 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 06, 2015, 07:57:48 AM
Why did you not give anything to the Brother? Why do you want to give money to the sister?

Home Schooled :x deserve NOTHING.

It think it has to do with the fact that he didn't do the whole apply to college and get accepted thing.  Instead he just sort of ran away from home.  So he could go gay it up.

In my mind I've always thought of HS graduation cash as cash for college.

I think that is a material part of the story. I don't see anything wrong with giving a graduation gift/something for college to one relative and nothing to another that isn't going to advance his life in the immediate future.