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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 08:15:39 AM

Title: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 08:15:39 AM
I was out running yesterday and I couldn't help picking up the first shiny new conkers the season. I posted about it on Facebook and some USAnian friends confessed ignorance to the fruit of the horse chestnut tree, and even doubted whether they even grow there.

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F1%2F14%2FAesculus_hippocastanum_fruit.jpg&hash=e9a630b2fe25a39b397500072ec759dacc424eee)

Do you get conkers where you are, and if so did you play conkers as a kid? If not are you some kind of maladjusted freak?

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fresources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk%2Fcustoms%2Fquestions%2Fimages%2Fconkers%2Fplaying.jpg&hash=dd5e5a13dc88db3c35a9b24fb9765fe7137104c2)
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: derspiess on September 08, 2014, 08:22:06 AM
Yeah, we have them here.  Ed probably wears necklaces made of them to football games (as to whether he admits to it I'm not sure).  We call them buckeyes.  People from Ohio are also called Buckeyes. 

And here's something to give you nightmares:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_L4lTqe8uqF0%2FTLxSVrqYYNI%2FAAAAAAAAELQ%2FWDNq5BRCPGY%2Fs640%2Fb.jpg&hash=0b9c4ed74cb77a86a2e0363781b7b583fe74d761)
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: celedhring on September 08, 2014, 08:26:51 AM
We used to have horse chestnut trees in my area when I was a kid, but they seem to have progressively disappeared. We never used the fruits to play or anything, since they are toxic (or so I was told as a kid).
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 08:29:32 AM
Apparently they're almost, but not quite, teh same thing.
"In America, the native "Buckeye" tree is the short name for California Buckeye. Its latin name is Aesculusglabra californica.

In Europe, or England to be exact, the native tree there is the Horse Chestnut sometimes referred to as Buckeye or Conker. Conker, you should know is just a slang word that comes from the fact that the chestnuts are protected by a spikey shell that can really hurt as they often fall without warning and can hit or "conk" you in the head. The word Conker just kind of took hold in common language at some point. The latin name for Horse Chestnut is Aesculus hippocastinum.

The first word in a latin name is the genus of the species telling us where it came from and how it is related to others. In order to be considered even related, these two trees would have to share a common genus name and they don't, so to answer your question, "no, they are not the same tree."

HOWEVER, not every tree we see is native. Some have been introduced to other continents by people bringing nuts to plant or baby trees over, so although one tree belongs to North America and one to Europe, both trees could very well be growing in the same location and they both look very similar to eachother to the untrained eye. To answer your question with any authority, you have to know how to tell the difference between the two types of trees or you'll never know for sure."

And to clarify one point:
"The Ohio buckeye is:
Aesculus glabra (Hippocastanaceae)

The British Horse Chestnut or Conker Tree is:
Aesculus hippocastanum (Hippocastanaceae)

The plants are both in the genus Aesculus in the family Hippocastanaceae but they are different species (second parts of their 2-part scientific names are different)."

Conkers are toxic, but you don't have to eat them to play with them!
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: derspiess on September 08, 2014, 08:32:06 AM
Sometimes an Aesculus is just an Aesculus  :P
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: celedhring on September 08, 2014, 08:33:05 AM
Now that I think of it we might have used them to throw them at cans, etc... when I was a kid. It's all blurry.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Tamas on September 08, 2014, 08:43:46 AM
We had plenty. There was a chestnut tree hanging over the tiny alleyway-ish road next to the Calvinist church's yard, that's where I got most of it. :)

It is best for dessert though:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-HbZEPHYQz6I%2FTphzJLbUaMI%2FAAAAAAAAEDo%2FuFsgzI4cVNA%2Fs1600%2Fchestnut_puree2.JPG&hash=79d7605d0d7f9a5dd313c94761c08bf7ec6919bd)

http://easteuropeanfood.about.com/od/hungariandesserts/r/Hungarian-Chestnut-Puree-Recipe-Gesztenyepure.htm
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 09:06:05 AM
Roast chestnuts - one of the few things I'll purchase from street vendors and one of the few things I look forward to winter for.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Pedrito on September 08, 2014, 09:07:16 AM
Tamas, should you make that cake with horse chestnuts, you'd end up intoxicated. The cake is made with edible chestnuts: conkers are completely smooth, chestnuts have a small flock of hair at the top.  And they are best roasted on an open flame :mmm:

Responding to the OP, yes, we have them here, we call them "marroni" or "mad chestnuts", and no, I never played conkers and don't know what it is,  so yes, I'm a maladjusted freak.
But some time ago I discovered that in some areas of Italy there's the belief that a conker kept in the trousers' front pocket protects from throat ache.
I realize that this last sentence makes me seem even more maladjusted.

L.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: celedhring on September 08, 2014, 09:13:13 AM
Oh, and in Spain they are called "Castaño de Indias", which would suggest they were brought from America. A wikipedia search says they are native to the Balkans, though.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Warspite on September 08, 2014, 09:21:48 AM
What scoring system did you use? We had inherited scores, e.g. if your two-er beat a fifteener, it became a eighteener.

Oh, this takes me back... the ingenuity we had in hardening our conkers. Dehumidifier; soaking in vinegar; storing for two+ years; coating in varnish; coating in WD40 (still don't know what the logic behind that one was); cooking in the oven.... and yet all could be lost by a cruel stampsies.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Richard Hakluyt on September 08, 2014, 09:48:10 AM
Yeah, we used to add the scores, so a gnarled old conker might get to 80 or more. The senior conkers had to be carefully examined though, before risking them in another bout.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: The Brain on September 08, 2014, 10:00:07 AM
We played with them when I was a kid. They're shiny.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:02:33 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
SWEET chestnut. For eating  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:05:28 AM
Definitely played inherited scores. I tried drying mine inn the airing cupboard and soaking in vinegar. In the end, a good, fresh structurally sound conker would win out. I came second in a local pub conker league challenge a couple of years back  :D
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 12:05:42 PM
Of course, they were originally brought over from France. By William the Conkerer.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Maximus on September 08, 2014, 12:11:47 PM
We had them in great numbers in Nova Scotia on and around yards. The nuts were great fun to run over with a lawn mower, especially if there were cars, windows or small kids nearby.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Syt on September 08, 2014, 12:13:54 PM
While we had conkers galore at home, they were only ever used for making stupid animals with toothpicks and/or matches. Mainly you hoped that in fall none of the spiky fuckers would drop on your head.

Starting October the Maroni-Standln open in Vienna where you can buy roasted Maroni (as sweet chestnuts are called here). However, tests in recent years have shown that out of a bag you buy about 1/3 tend to be bad, so you buy at your own risk (alternatively get some roasted taters that have been in the pan for a few hours :x ).

Good in theory, horrible in execution.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: CountDeMoney on September 08, 2014, 01:26:34 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 12:05:42 PM
Of course, they were originally brought over from France. By William the Conkerer.

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7559232000/h5F1096AE/)
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Josquius on September 08, 2014, 01:46:04 PM
I've always collected them but very rarely actually played the game. It just wasn't the done thing in the few years when I was a kid of relevant age
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:02:33 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
SWEET chestnut. For eating  :rolleyes:

Still. Why would an adult man do that? More importantly, what adult man with a stable job and no kids to humour with antics like that would consider going into the forest to "harass some sweet chestnut trees"?

I find his lifestyle atrociously disturbing.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 03:32:45 PM
Quote from: Tyr on September 08, 2014, 01:46:04 PM
I've always collected them but very rarely actually played the game. It just wasn't the done thing in the few years when I was a kid of relevant age

Yes, I used to play with conkers too. Then I turned, like, 11.  :P
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: grumbler on September 08, 2014, 04:19:09 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 12:05:42 PM
Of course, they were originally brought over from France. By William the Conkerer.
She Stoops to Conker.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 04:45:48 PM
Quote from: grumbler on September 08, 2014, 04:19:09 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 12:05:42 PM
Of course, they were originally brought over from France. By William the Conkerer.
She Stoops to Conker.  :rolleyes:
That's chestnut funny.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: mongers on September 08, 2014, 05:07:34 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:02:33 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
SWEET chestnut. For eating  :rolleyes:

Still. Why would an adult man do that? More importantly, what adult man with a stable job and no kids to humour with antics like that would consider going into the forest to "harass some sweet chestnut trees"?

I find his lifestyle atrociously disturbing.

How ironic that a champion of diversity should utterly fail to understand what diversity means.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Ed Anger on September 08, 2014, 05:52:03 PM
Quote from: derspiess on September 08, 2014, 08:22:06 AM
Yeah, we have them here.  Ed probably wears necklaces made of them to football games (as to whether he admits to it I'm not sure).  We call them buckeyes.  People from Ohio are also called Buckeyes. 

And here's something to give you nightmares:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_L4lTqe8uqF0%2FTLxSVrqYYNI%2FAAAAAAAAELQ%2FWDNq5BRCPGY%2Fs640%2Fb.jpg&hash=0b9c4ed74cb77a86a2e0363781b7b583fe74d761)

I have an inflatable Brutus for the yard.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: garbon on September 09, 2014, 08:58:53 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 05:07:34 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:02:33 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
SWEET chestnut. For eating  :rolleyes:

Still. Why would an adult man do that? More importantly, what adult man with a stable job and no kids to humour with antics like that would consider going into the forest to "harass some sweet chestnut trees"?

I find his lifestyle atrociously disturbing.

How ironic that a champion of diversity should utterly fail to understand what diversity means.

It doesn't mean you have to tolerate everything. After all, that's essentially the slippery slope.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Malthus on September 09, 2014, 09:01:57 AM
Only god knows what tolerating conkers could lead to!
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:03:35 AM
Quote from: Malthus on September 09, 2014, 09:01:57 AM
Only god knows what tolerating conkers could lead to!

I've no idea, but I draw a red line at harassing trees! :angry:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Martinus on September 09, 2014, 09:07:05 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 05:07:34 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:02:33 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
SWEET chestnut. For eating  :rolleyes:

Still. Why would an adult man do that? More importantly, what adult man with a stable job and no kids to humour with antics like that would consider going into the forest to "harass some sweet chestnut trees"?

I find his lifestyle atrociously disturbing.

How ironic that a champion of diversity should utterly fail to understand what diversity means.

I have never been a champion of diversity.  :huh:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:13:59 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 09, 2014, 09:07:05 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 05:07:34 PM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Brazen on September 08, 2014, 10:02:33 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 08, 2014, 10:01:20 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 08, 2014, 08:38:17 AM
Very timely thread, it reminds me I need to get out into the forest and harass some sweet chestnut trees.   :bowler:

What the fuck? Why would someone adult to that?
SWEET chestnut. For eating  :rolleyes:

Still. Why would an adult man do that? More importantly, what adult man with a stable job and no kids to humour with antics like that would consider going into the forest to "harass some sweet chestnut trees"?

I find his lifestyle atrociously disturbing.

How ironic that a champion of diversity should utterly fail to understand what diversity means.

I have never been a champion of diversity.  :huh:

I think he means about how you want your lifestyle tolerated which is a diversion from typical heterosexuality.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Malthus on September 09, 2014, 09:16:34 AM
See what tolerating your homosexuality has led to? Now we are expected to applaud while Mongers rapes trees.  :(

Look, just because they "got wood" doesn't mean they are consenting!  :mad:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Martinus on September 09, 2014, 09:35:55 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:13:59 AM
I think he means about how you want your lifestyle tolerated which is a diversion from typical heterosexuality.

I know what he means but this argument just does not make any sense. People's characteristics should be judged individually - a worldview where every deviation is acceptable and fine is equally idiotic as a worldview where no deviations from the norm are tolerated.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:39:22 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 09, 2014, 09:35:55 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:13:59 AM
I think he means about how you want your lifestyle tolerated which is a diversion from typical heterosexuality.

I know what he means but this argument just does not make any sense. People's characteristics should be judged individually - a worldview where every deviation is acceptable and fine is equally idiotic as a worldview where no deviations from the norm are tolerated.

I agree. :hug:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Syt on September 09, 2014, 09:42:57 AM
Gathering chestnuts? What's next? Hunting for mushrooms??? Madness!!

Seriously, I don't see the big deal if someone wants to gather some themselves instead of paying ridiculous markups at the shops. Might has well declare anyone planting their own fruits or vegetables a deviant.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:44:34 AM
Quote from: Syt on September 09, 2014, 09:42:57 AM
Gathering chestnuts? What's next? Hunting for mushrooms??? Madness!!

Seriously, I don't see the big deal if someone wants to gather some themselves instead of paying ridiculous markups at the shops. Might has well declare anyone planting their own fruits or vegetables a deviant.

I wouldn't refer to any of those things as harassment, YMMV.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Grey Fox on September 09, 2014, 09:45:35 AM
You guys are misinterpreting Marti's issue with.

Going into a forest is the real problem.

I've never played conquer, I have no idea what that game is.

There are 2 Chestnut tree in my back yard, they are still very small tho. Neither of them have produced fruits yet.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Syt on September 09, 2014, 09:46:47 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:44:34 AM
Quote from: Syt on September 09, 2014, 09:42:57 AM
Gathering chestnuts? What's next? Hunting for mushrooms??? Madness!!

Seriously, I don't see the big deal if someone wants to gather some themselves instead of paying ridiculous markups at the shops. Might has well declare anyone planting their own fruits or vegetables a deviant.

I wouldn't refer to any of those things as harassment, YMMV.

I don't think Mart took umbrage to the word "harass" but going out to gather chestnuts in the first place.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: mongers on September 09, 2014, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:39:22 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 09, 2014, 09:35:55 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:13:59 AM
I think he means about how you want your lifestyle tolerated which is a diversion from typical heterosexuality.

I know what he means but this argument just does not make any sense. People's characteristics should be judged individually - a worldview where every deviation is acceptable and fine is equally idiotic as a worldview where no deviations from the norm are tolerated.

I agree. :hug:

I'm astonished that two of the most intolerant people on the forum should agree on this issue, you could literally knock me over with a feather.  :bowler:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: garbon on September 09, 2014, 10:21:35 AM
Quote from: mongers on September 09, 2014, 10:20:43 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:39:22 AM
Quote from: Martinus on September 09, 2014, 09:35:55 AM
Quote from: garbon on September 09, 2014, 09:13:59 AM
I think he means about how you want your lifestyle tolerated which is a diversion from typical heterosexuality.

I know what he means but this argument just does not make any sense. People's characteristics should be judged individually - a worldview where every deviation is acceptable and fine is equally idiotic as a worldview where no deviations from the norm are tolerated.

I agree. :hug:

I'm astonished that two of the most intolerant people on the forum should agree on this issue, you could literally knock me over with a feather.  :bowler:

I think you may have me confused with grallon. That's intolerance.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: grumbler on September 09, 2014, 11:57:12 AM
Quote from: Malthus on September 09, 2014, 09:01:57 AM
Only god knows what tolerating conkers could lead to! 

They'd try to take over the tree-based-fruit world.  You'd have weird things like Conker'd grapes.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Ed Anger on September 09, 2014, 07:43:08 PM
Ugh.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Tonitrus on September 09, 2014, 07:49:43 PM
This thread is going down the tubes faster than the Conker'de.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Barrister on September 10, 2014, 12:33:32 AM
:frusty:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Caliga on September 10, 2014, 07:11:01 PM
I got about 1,000 of these things in my yard or in the process of falling into my yard now if you want 'em, B:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftredd.com%2Flavenderhill%2Fimages%2FOsage%252520Orange_004.jpg&hash=1929ff984e1f89be1331b5931823bf891bfec8a1)

Spiders and rodents hate the smell of them so they're good if you have vermin problems.  They're also good at making you vomit if you eat them.  That's about it.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Valmy on September 10, 2014, 07:12:03 PM
I used to love smashing then over my fence into the greenbelt with my baseball bat.  Unfortunately it made all my baseball gear sticky so I stopped doing that  :(
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Caliga on September 10, 2014, 07:15:10 PM
Oh, I forgot... they make excellent projectile weapons too.  Thanks for the reminder bro. :hug:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Admiral Yi on September 10, 2014, 07:31:08 PM
Dude, you might want to delete that pic.  A Russian hacker could read your palm.  :ph34r:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Brazen on September 11, 2014, 03:59:00 AM
Quote from: Caliga on September 10, 2014, 07:11:01 PM
I got about 1,000 of these things in my yard or in the process of falling into my yard now if you want 'em, B:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftredd.com%2Flavenderhill%2Fimages%2FOsage%252520Orange_004.jpg&hash=1929ff984e1f89be1331b5931823bf891bfec8a1)

Spiders and rodents hate the smell of them so they're good if you have vermin problems.  They're also good at making you vomit if you eat them.  That's about it.
Woah! :o I had to do a Google image search on that.
QuoteMaclura pomifera, commonly called Osage orange, hedge apple, horse apple, monkey ball, bois d'arc, bodark, or bodock is a small deciduous tree or large shrub, typically growing to 8–15 metres tall. It is a Carolinian species.
No wonder I've never seen one then!
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: The Brain on September 11, 2014, 09:31:09 AM
Monkey ball my foot.
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Maximus on September 11, 2014, 02:06:40 PM
Quote from: The Brain on September 11, 2014, 09:31:09 AM
Monkey ball my foot.
Mart, is that you?
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Malthus on September 11, 2014, 02:07:59 PM
Quote from: Maximus on September 11, 2014, 02:06:40 PM
Quote from: The Brain on September 11, 2014, 09:31:09 AM
Monkey ball my foot.
Mart, is that you?

More like some combination of both of them.  :hmm:
Title: Re: Conkers and you
Post by: Eddie Teach on September 11, 2014, 02:12:30 PM
Quote from: Malthus on September 11, 2014, 02:07:59 PM
More like some combination of both of them.  :hmm:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcinemaknifefight.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fthe-incredible-two-headed-transplant-03.jpg&hash=fe8e4ca80dcde779e5e0d187df96247ed3d62e2a)