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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:21:48 PM

Title: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:21:48 PM
Count 1: Mighty Machines

http://youtu.be/f9YXuFdjwf8

Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick. I hate you all.

CANADA DELENDA EST
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: CountDeMoney on March 26, 2014, 10:25:47 PM
Count #2:  Five Pin Bowling.

http://youtu.be/9H2cjncHJsY

QuoteIt was devised around 1909 by Thomas F. Ryan in Toronto, Ontario, at his Toronto Bowling Club, in response to customers who complained that the ten-pin game was too strenuous.

And you have no navy, either.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: garbon on March 26, 2014, 10:28:53 PM
Celene Dion. Nickelback. Yeah, I rushed to the major offenses.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:31:30 PM
Count #4

Calliou.

http://youtu.be/IXjrEDd-GJI

The kid should have been aborted.

CANADA DELENDA EST
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: HVC on March 26, 2014, 10:33:27 PM
And we were getting along so nicely :(
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:35:10 PM
Quote from: HVC on March 26, 2014, 10:33:27 PM
And we were getting along so nicely :(

I suffered through Mighty Machines today. CANADA DELENDA EST

Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: HVC on March 26, 2014, 10:36:50 PM
Wait until the kids start watch "How it is made". The process of making ball bearing is as boring as you'd imagine :D
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:40:11 PM
Quote from: HVC on March 26, 2014, 10:36:50 PM
Wait until the kids start watch "How it is made". The process of making ball bearing is as boring as you'd imagine :D

Well, I suffered through that in 2006, when recovering from MAH INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT. It was either Walker Texas Ranger, American Chopper or How it's Made.

I welcomed the painful pin cleanings on my fixator so I wouldn't have to watch any of that shit.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: CountDeMoney on March 26, 2014, 10:40:42 PM
lol, my Dad's all about "How It's Made".  Retirement is sad as balls.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: katmai on March 26, 2014, 10:46:54 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 26, 2014, 10:40:42 PM
lol, my Dad's all about "How It's Made".  Retirement is sad as balls.

I'll take that over the Judge Judy and Ellen that my dad likes to watch.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Eddie Teach on March 26, 2014, 11:09:37 PM
How It's Made is watchable, but something I never watch. About the same level of interest as NCIS clones.

I get my industrialized society fix from watching Strip the City and Build it Bigger.   :cool:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 26, 2014, 11:19:26 PM
Five pin bowling is the real kind of bowling. :contract:

It's a shame that more bowling alleys in this country are switching away from 5 pin to that terrible, terrible 10 pin. :(
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 05:58:34 AM
Quote from: katmai on March 26, 2014, 10:46:54 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 26, 2014, 10:40:42 PM
lol, my Dad's all about "How It's Made".  Retirement is sad as balls.

I'll take that over the Judge Judy and Ellen that my dad likes to watch.

Just wait until they come around with their toolbox, about 10 % vision and starts "fixing" stuff around your place. You'll suddenly appreciate them watching tv instead. So far, my water heater's been "fixed" (had to get a new one after that), my fridge has been "fixed" (which means the door is almost broken) and the kitchen sink plumbing is "fixed" (meaning I've had to tie it together with string and rubber bands).

On the subject of Canada's crimes, Justin Bieber, Bryan Adams. Cobie Smulders not being single.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: celedhring on March 27, 2014, 05:59:36 AM
According to the pizza ingredient thread, Hawaiian Pizza.  :yuk:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Syt on March 27, 2014, 06:06:55 AM
Degrassi Junior High.

Or as we called it: Depressi Junior High.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 06:10:07 AM
What's your problem with Mighty Machines, Ginger Ed?
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Josephus on March 27, 2014, 06:15:30 AM
In the building I work in, there's an office that says "Canadian ten-pin bowling association"

Given that everyone I see walking in is speaking Russian and that it's 10-pin, I know it's a front for some Russian mafia group.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 11:22:10 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 06:10:07 AM
What's your problem with Mighty Machines, Ginger Ed?

Alexander got hooked on it and it has to be the most boring piece of educational programming ever made.

Plus.. Canadian mullets. Egads.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 11:59:22 AM
Ah. Your problem is actually with the Late 1990s.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 12:00:23 PM
Or netflix having it available and the GODDAMN NANNY showing him that.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 12:00:37 PM
Still, fuck Canada.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Caliga on March 27, 2014, 12:02:10 PM
Don't forget Canadian weather. :)
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 12:03:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 12:00:37 PM
Still, fuck Canada.

:hmm:

Look at any map of North America, our Ontario cock is firmly lodge in your Ohio valley, while your limp floridian dick just hangs there.

NO REACH AROUND FOR YOU
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 12:06:25 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 11:22:10 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 06:10:07 AM
What's your problem with Mighty Machines, Ginger Ed?

Alexander got hooked on it and it has to be the most boring piece of educational programming ever made.

Plus.. Canadian mullets. Egads.

It could be worse, Ed.

Timmy went through a Might Machines phase too, so I know your pain.

But Andrew now is going through a Bubble Guppies phase.  He's constantly pointing to the tv going "bu bu gu pi?" (and no, we don't let him watch it all the time - maybe once in the morning and once before bed).  Problem is Netflix only has 13 22 minute episodes, so by now we've seen them all, repeatedly.  I want to strangle those little educational mer-people. :mad:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Caliga on March 27, 2014, 12:07:21 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 12:03:45 PM
Look at any map of North America, our Ontario cock is firmly lodge in your Ohio valley, while your limp floridian dick just hangs there.
It's not just hanging there, it's peeing on Latin America.  MAH MONROE DOCTRINE
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Malthus on March 27, 2014, 12:49:19 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 12:06:25 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 11:22:10 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 06:10:07 AM
What's your problem with Mighty Machines, Ginger Ed?

Alexander got hooked on it and it has to be the most boring piece of educational programming ever made.

Plus.. Canadian mullets. Egads.

It could be worse, Ed.

Timmy went through a Might Machines phase too, so I know your pain.

But Andrew now is going through a Bubble Guppies phase.  He's constantly pointing to the tv going "bu bu gu pi?" (and no, we don't let him watch it all the time - maybe once in the morning and once before bed).  Problem is Netflix only has 13 22 minute episodes, so by now we've seen them all, repeatedly.  I want to strangle those little educational mer-people. :mad:

That is nothing compared with the Thomas the Tank Engine scars I bear to this day.  :ph34r:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Jacob on March 27, 2014, 12:51:30 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 12:03:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 12:00:37 PM
Still, fuck Canada.

:hmm:

Look at any map of North America, our Ontario cock is firmly lodge in your Ohio valley, while your limp floridian dick just hangs there.

NO REACH AROUND FOR YOU

:lol:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 01:15:12 PM
You guys have it easy atleast it's only in 1 languages.

English, French Translation in Quebec, French translation in France, France shows, Quebec Shows.

:bleeding:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 01:39:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:31:30 PM
Count #4

Calliou.

http://youtu.be/IXjrEDd-GJI

The kid should have been aborted.

CANADA DELENDA EST

This has to be #1.  The only person who hates Caillou more than I is my wife.  It brings out her pure Latina fury.  We often take potshots at my sister in law for not only letting their kids watch that horrible show, but actually encouraging it.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 01:43:08 PM
Speaking of kids shows, wtf is up with that Leapfrog educational show.  Not only do the high-pitched voices hurt my ears, but they had one episode with a crippled dog.  A crippled dog!  I know the BS inclusiveness/diversity reason they did it, but seeing a crippled dog in a cartoon was disturbing.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 02:35:22 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 01:39:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:31:30 PM
Count #4

Calliou.

http://youtu.be/IXjrEDd-GJI

The kid should have been aborted.

CANADA DELENDA EST

This has to be #1.  The only person who hates Caillou more than I is my wife.  It brings out her pure Latina fury.  We often take potshots at my sister in law for not only letting their kids watch that horrible show, but actually encouraging it.

This has come up before, and I still don't get it.  What the hell is wrong with Caillou (besides his name)?  It's not bad because it's the only show I can think of which shows pre-school kids actually acting like pre-school kids.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 02:46:01 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 02:35:22 PM
This has come up before, and I still don't get it.  What the hell is wrong with Caillou (besides his name)?  It's not bad because it's the only show I can think of which shows pre-school kids actually acting like pre-school kids.

I spelled it all out before.  Caillou is a whiny little shit whose parents enable bad behavior.  Yeah, let's show that to our kids :rolleyes:

And he's bald.  WTF is up with that.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: HVC on March 27, 2014, 02:50:43 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 01:39:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:31:30 PM
Count #4

Calliou.

http://youtu.be/IXjrEDd-GJI

The kid should have been aborted.

CANADA DELENDA EST

This has to be #1.  The only person who hates Caillou more than I is my wife.  It brings out her pure Latina fury.  We often take potshots at my sister in law for not only letting their kids watch that horrible show, but actually encouraging it.
if it makes you feel any better the actress who originally did the voice died in a fiery car crash.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 02:54:30 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 02:46:01 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 02:35:22 PM
This has come up before, and I still don't get it.  What the hell is wrong with Caillou (besides his name)?  It's not bad because it's the only show I can think of which shows pre-school kids actually acting like pre-school kids.

I spelled it all out before.  Caillou is a whiny little shit whose parents enable bad behavior.  Yeah, let's show that to our kids :rolleyes:

And he's bald.  WTF is up with that.

You may not notice is with your hirsute hispanic children, but fair-haired children can at younger ages, have hair so fine and so light that they look rather bald.  My 20 month old has lots of hair, but you could easily think otherwise at a bit of a distance.

And little kids ARE whiny.  And I can't think of anything his parents do that particularly enable him.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 03:05:41 PM
There's a children's/youth movie coming out here called "Dr. Proktor's Farting Powder". I am sure you'll all love that when it gets dubbed and screened in North America. It's Jo Nesbø, so you can be sure it's coming to get you.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 03:15:25 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 02:54:30 PM
You may not notice is with your hirsute hispanic children,

:glare:

Quotebut fair-haired children can at younger ages, have hair so fine and so light that they look rather bald.  My 20 month old has lots of hair, but you could easily think otherwise at a bit of a distance.

Caillou is what, 4 or 5 years old.  He's bald. 

QuoteAnd little kids ARE whiny.  And I can't think of anything his parents do that particularly enable him.

No reason to reinforce the whinyness by showing them it's okay to be whiny.  Little kids scribble on walls and do all sorts of other weird or disgusting things.  Should we make that look okay as well??

From the limited parts of episodes I've been able to stomach, his behavior is enabled by everything his parents do.  I remember one time he was holding his baby sister down and pinching her and doesn't get punished or even reprimanded for it.  That right there deserves THE BELT :D
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 03:16:38 PM
Quote from: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 03:05:41 PM
There's a children's/youth movie coming out here called "Dr. Proktor's Farting Powder". I am sure you'll all love that when it gets dubbed and screened in North America. It's Jo Nesbø, so you can be sure it's coming to get you.

Hope it's as "awesome" as Freddy Frogface that came out of Denmark a few years ago.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 03:22:41 PM
I have a feeling that no adult will be buying a Nesbø novel after this.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: garbon on March 27, 2014, 03:25:16 PM
For der:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caillou

QuoteA number of parents questioned why the title character, Caillou, is bald, sparking rumours about the reason. The official website for PBS Kids laid such ideas to rest by publishing a FAQ answering common questions regarding Caillou, explaining that the character appeared as a much younger child in the original line of children's books
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 03:30:50 PM
So then it was impossible to give him hair when they made him older in the TV show? :huh:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: garbon on March 27, 2014, 03:32:22 PM
Presumably they didn't think it an issue.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 03:46:04 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 03:15:25 PM
:glare:

^_^
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: HVC on March 27, 2014, 03:49:56 PM
Beebs oddly defensive about this kids show.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 03:53:08 PM
Quote from: HVC on March 27, 2014, 03:49:56 PM
Beebs oddly defensive about this kids show.

I'm a parent of 3 kids under the age of 4.  All I get to watch are kids shows some days.  I couldn't tell you a thing about Walking Dead, or Agents of SHIELD, or whatever - but I can talk kiddie shows all day long. :(
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 03:54:50 PM
You had THREE kids in the time I was away? You must be seriously knackered by now.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 04:09:19 PM
Quote from: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 03:54:50 PM
You had THREE kids in the time I was away? You must be seriously knackered by now.

I've been busy.  :(
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 04:11:49 PM
Still, belated congratulations!

It's a good thing.  :hug:
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: CountDeMoney on March 27, 2014, 04:19:46 PM
Dercletus makes his wife talk like Dora the Explorer in the sack.
DID YOU CUM I KNEW YOU COULD
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 04:56:02 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 27, 2014, 04:19:46 PM
Dercletus makes his wife talk like Dora the Explorer in the sack.
DID YOU CUM I KNEW YOU COULD

Sophia Vergara.  But good guess.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 05:27:09 PM
Quote from: Norgy on March 27, 2014, 03:54:50 PM
You had THREE kids in the time I was away? You must be seriously knackered by now.


Hehehehehehe
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 06:12:33 PM
Yeah, Ed's got about a baker's dozen now.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 06:36:33 PM
Senate President: the senate recognizes Ed Anger, known Internet crank!

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwelltraveledwellness.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F08%2FCato.jpg&hash=2a2eadf68a5c8f114944ceb944157dcdd72fb339)

CANADA DELENDA EST
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Ed Anger on March 27, 2014, 06:38:00 PM
The Assburgers will obviously note that is Cato the Younger. Ed Anger will note that they should go fuck themselves and leave comedy to the professionals.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 09:42:30 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 27, 2014, 02:35:22 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 27, 2014, 01:39:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 26, 2014, 10:31:30 PM
Count #4

Calliou.

http://youtu.be/IXjrEDd-GJI

The kid should have been aborted.

CANADA DELENDA EST

This has to be #1.  The only person who hates Caillou more than I is my wife.  It brings out her pure Latina fury.  We often take potshots at my sister in law for not only letting their kids watch that horrible show, but actually encouraging it.

This has come up before, and I still don't get it.  What the hell is wrong with Caillou (besides his name)?  It's not bad because it's the only show I can think of which shows pre-school kids actually acting like pre-school kids.

He's the poster child for the entire child-king phenomenom.
Title: Re: Canadian Crimes against Humanity
Post by: Grey Fox on March 27, 2014, 09:44:53 PM
I wonder how many Languish kids were born while Norgy was battling Cancer.