Cover letters

[Josquius]

I recently spotted a listing for a dream job which somehow doesn't seem to have fine print that would exclude me. I might actually have a chance (albeit a super teeny tiny one). I've got to go all out for this.

So. Languish I beseech you. Cover letter advice.

Sure, I could just google, but there's so much crap out there, a lot of it being based on writing actual letters. And I know there are several folks on languish who are in a position where they actually have to look at these things.
Any stories of particular don'ts (and dos)? Should I include a sample of my hair so they can test my genetic purity or not?

[Admiral Yi]

What company, what position?

[Monoriu]

Not actually a cover letter.  But I know someone who got her job by responding to the inevitable question "why do you apply for this position?" in the most truthful manner possible.  Like saying "I'm in it because it pays better than my current job and I kinda need the money", rather than "I am passionate about education."

[Syt]

Write the cover letter. Then make it a YouTube video where you sell yourself.

[Brazen]

No more than a page. Try and find out the name of the person recruiting and use it. If not, judging by the tone of the job advert and company, decide whether to go the "Dear Sir/Madam" route or "Hello". Sign off yours faithfully if you don't now the name, yours sincerely if you do, and best regards if it's chummy.

Head the email with job title, and reference if applicable. Start by saying, "I am applying for the position of... as advertised in..." so they know where you're coming from.

Address every key point in the advert. Where you fall short, don't apologise but explain why you can do it anyhow. Say you were to apply for a role that requires one year's experience of IT training, you could say, for example, "I have three years' experience teaching, including delivering practical skills, and I am a keen self-taught computer enthusiast, often helping friends and family learn new programs."

Tweak your CV for every job you apply for. The job of the covering letter is to get your CV read, and after that it will never be seen again. So make sure everything you want to go through to the next stage is covered in your CV.

Don't bother including your notice period, referees or samples of your work unless directly asked - these will come later.

No photos, ever.

[CountDeMoney]

Tweak your CV for every job you apply for. The job of the covering letter is to get your CV read, and after that it will never be seen again. So make sure everything you want to go through to the next stage is covered in your CV.

Yup.  Craft the resume for the job, and try not to repeat information from your resume in your cover letter, either.  The point of the cover letter is to get your resume read.

[Ed Anger]

One page. No hobbies. Keep the crazy off of it.

[The Brain]

Not actually a cover letter.  But I know someone who got her job by responding to the inevitable question "why do you apply for this position?" in the most truthful manner possible.  Like saying "I'm in it because it pays better than my current job and I kinda need the money", rather than "I am passionate about education."

Most jobs make you come across as a kook if you claim to be passionate about them.

[Grey Fox]

I never understood how anyone can let fine prints get in the way. They are just fine prints, fuck them.

[Admiral Yi]

I never understood how anyone can let fine prints get in the way. They are just fine prints, fuck them.

They really do brighten up a room though.

(Fine print bro.)

[The Brain]

You're too helpful, Yi. The reply I wrote did NOT include any hints or tips.

[Grey Fox]

I never understood how anyone can let fine prints get in the way. They are just fine prints, fuck them.

They really do brighten up a room though.

(Fine print bro.)

Even if there's more then 1? Weird.

[Barrister]

I never understood how anyone can let fine prints get in the way. They are just fine prints, fuck them.

They really do brighten up a room though.

(Fine print bro.)

Even if there's more then 1? Weird.

Fine print" refers to the font seize.  So whether there is one line or 15 paragraphs in small print, it is all referred to as "fine print".

[Josquius]

What company, what position?

Secret unless I get it. Then its just TBR secret.

No more than a page. Try and find out the name of the person recruiting and use it. If not, judging by the tone of the job advert and company, decide whether to go the "Dear Sir/Madam" route or "Hello". Sign off yours faithfully if you don't now the name, yours sincerely if you do, and best regards if it's chummy.

That finding the name of the recruiting person thing is common advice though I'm always reluctant to do that, what if I find the wrong person? Is it still better to have Dear Mr. Boss when its someone else reading it than just Dear Sir/Madam?

Address every key point in the advert. Where you fall short, don't apologise but explain why you can do it anyhow. Say you were to apply for a role that requires one year's experience of IT training, you could say, for example, "I have three years' experience teaching, including delivering practical skills, and I am a keen self-taught computer enthusiast, often helping friends and family learn new programs."

The experience thing is indeed my downfall.
Hoping I can pass off practical projects from uni (several with real companies) as valid experience there.

No photos, ever.

That depends on where you are though. In the UK yeah. In a lot of Europe photos are common, in Japan (with Japanese companies anyway) they're outright mandatory as is writing it all by hand


So you say the long and useful route eh?
A lot of advice I've seen elsewhere says short and sweet is the way.
hmm....
Thanks!

[PDH]

Dear Schmuck,

I am writing this letter for no real god damn reason, you will see why when you read my resume.  Hell, I am the best fucking person for your job, I don't even have to prove it.  Just say my name in front of anyone with the balls to actually tell the truth and they will either a) pass out in worshipful awe, or b) tell you to hire me now and make me CEO immediately.  I am that good.

I would bore you with what I have done, but I have done it all.  Fuck, I even did stuff that hadn't been done yet and others are still trying to do it.  Knowledge of your procedures?  I have already done things that will make the next generation of procedures seem obsolete; I am that good.

In closing, if you don't hire me there will be a bunch of business webpages in the future that list you as Number One on the list of "Didn't Hire."

Fuck you anyway, you need me.

Sincerely,

Tyr.