What I Learned From Gay Sex: Misogyny and Homophobia

[Lettow77]

 It seems an awful lot to ask, even for the proponents of equality and emancipation from the prejudices of the past, to expunge even one's private sexual preferences of anything ideologically unsound.

CdM is a noted and tireless supporter of tolerance, social equity and so on, but surely we don't ask that he stop fantasizing about choking asian women to death.

An inescapable conclusion of this kind of logic, it seems to me, is that it will be unwholesome and unreasonable to desire a frilly, feminine and "traditional" woman, as the prejudiced legacy of a society that preferred its women chained to an identity that rendered them powerless.

[garbon]

Indeed. My point was that it reduces potential attraction to a set of checkboxes and performs a prescreening process that might deter you from meeting someone really neat.

How often have you said, in your dating life, "you know, I usually am not attracted to tall blondes/short brunettes/curvier people/etc but I met this girl/guy and there is just something ridiculously attractive about him/her"?

And I was saying that it can. I've used plenty of sites where you don't have to let preferences restrict who pops up.

[fhdz]

CdM is a noted and tireless supporter of tolerance, social equity and so on, but surely we don't ask that he stop fantasizing about choking asian women to death.

[garbon]

It seems an awful lot to ask, even for the proponents of equality and emancipation from the prejudices of the past, to expunge even one's private sexual preferences of anything ideologically unsound.

Not really. I think there is a difference between writing "Whites only" and choosing to only respond to white suitors.

[fhdz]

Indeed. My point was that it reduces potential attraction to a set of checkboxes and performs a prescreening process that might deter you from meeting someone really neat.

How often have you said, in your dating life, "you know, I usually am not attracted to tall blondes/short brunettes/curvier people/etc but I met this girl/guy and there is just something ridiculously attractive about him/her"?

And I was saying that it can. I've used plenty of sites where you don't have to let preferences restrict who pops up.

Ah, cool, I've not seen those, as I haven't been dating for the last four years. Are they in the minority?

[garbon]

Indeed. My point was that it reduces potential attraction to a set of checkboxes and performs a prescreening process that might deter you from meeting someone really neat.

How often have you said, in your dating life, "you know, I usually am not attracted to tall blondes/short brunettes/curvier people/etc but I met this girl/guy and there is just something ridiculously attractive about him/her"?

And I was saying that it can. I've used plenty of sites where you don't have to let preferences restrict who pops up.

Ah, cool, I've not seen those, as I haven't been dating for the last four years. Are they in the minority?

Well I've no idea - I mean I only use gay ones.

[Lettow77]

Not really. I think there is a difference between writing "Whites only" and choosing to only respond to white suitors.

I suppose there is, but I'd imagine the latter is reflected by "private sexual preferences"; I hadn't entertained the idea of advertising one's various tastes on a dating website, but was responding primarily to the example in the original article.

Although, insomuch as there IS a difference between writing whites only and only choosing to respond to whites, it is a matter of discretion and taste, not sentiment. Which is good- someone without the good sense to know you shouldn't come out as a supremacist is a goober and it's a nice way to allow for self-filtering, but the person who won't give Jamal Jones a chance is still a no-good very bad racist.

[garbon]

I suppose there is, but I'd imagine the latter is reflected by "private sexual preferences"; I hadn't entertained the idea of advertising one's various tastes on a dating website, but was responding primarily to the example in the original article.

I don't think the OP was really like that though. After all, there are plenty of other reasons Peter could have disliked the writer's high-pitched moans that would not rely on the fact that it was faggy.

Although, insomuch as there IS a difference between writing whites only and only choosing to respond to whites, it is a matter of discretion and taste, not sentiment. Which is good- someone without the good sense to know you shouldn't come out as a supremacist is a goober and it's a nice way to allow for self-filtering, but the person who won't give Jamal Jones a chance is still a no-good very bad racist.

Actually I think there is a big difference as there's then the change that said individual might actually find themselves interested in a non-white as non-whites wouldn't feel like that person was not to be contacted.  And no, I don't think a person is racist if they find Jamal Jones unattractive. Saying it is the result of something as mutable as racial preference kind of is though.

[garbon]

That said, I do find some utility value in people who make such direct statements. I don't need to waste time considering them as I don't find narrow-mindedness attractive.

[Martinus]

garbon's logic, taken to the extreme, means that any woman who is not lesbian is really misogynistic.

[garbon]

garbon's logic, taken to the extreme, means that any woman who is not lesbian is really misogynistic.

You want to unpack that for me?

[fhdz]

Indeed. My point was that it reduces potential attraction to a set of checkboxes and performs a prescreening process that might deter you from meeting someone really neat.

How often have you said, in your dating life, "you know, I usually am not attracted to tall blondes/short brunettes/curvier people/etc but I met this girl/guy and there is just something ridiculously attractive about him/her"?

And I was saying that it can. I've used plenty of sites where you don't have to let preferences restrict who pops up.

Ah, cool, I've not seen those, as I haven't been dating for the last four years. Are they in the minority?

Well I've no idea - I mean I only use gay ones.

Good point.

[CountDeMoney]

CdM is a noted and tireless supporter of tolerance, social equity and so on, but surely we don't ask that he stop fantasizing about choking asian women to death.

Just one in particular.

[crazy canuck]

Congratulations - your love life is now in the hands of HR

I have to remember to once again remind my wife that she is not allowed to die before me.

[viper37]

I also really like that Peter said this: "I never go home with anyone the night I meet them."  A gay man in New York that goes to gay bars? Chyeah right!

It's a shock, really.  Homos are not that different from straight people when it comes to sex.