Would you consider your spouse getting fat a good reason for divorce?

Started by MadImmortalMan, March 13, 2013, 03:42:49 PM

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Assuming he/she wasn't fat when you married.

Yes
30 (60%)
No
13 (26%)
I'll have a Jumbo Jack with extra ketchup, large fries and a Diet Coke
7 (14%)

Total Members Voted: 49

Berkut

Quote from: Valmy on March 20, 2013, 11:16:12 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 20, 2013, 10:24:24 AM
:rolleyes:

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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garbon

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:55:42 AM
Quote from: Valmy on March 20, 2013, 11:16:12 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 20, 2013, 10:24:24 AM
:rolleyes:

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

The rolleyes was at legbiter and der who were so lamely throwing poo at Meri. Nothing to do with your recent posts.
"I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off."
I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim.

derspiess

"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

merithyn

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:10:12 AM

You really should act as if they may say "Fuck it, I am out of here" if you don't make sure they want to be with you, even if you really do know there isn't any practical chance of that happening.

That, to me, is the difference between co-dependence and a healthy relationship. One should never feel so settled as to believe that their partner won't leave. I know that Max would be just fine without me, so I work to make sure that he's happy enough to stay.
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

Berkut

"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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Berkut

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:59:32 AM
Quote from: derspiess on March 20, 2013, 11:57:17 AM
Yeah, that's it, Berk.  Blame the Christians :lol:

OK.

Actually, I take that back - I am not blaming the Christians, I am blaming Christianity. Not really the same thing.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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derspiess

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 12:00:30 PM
Actually, I take that back - I am not blaming the Christians, I am blaming Christianity. Not really the same thing.

OK.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall

HVC

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:55:42 AM
Quote from: Valmy on March 20, 2013, 11:16:12 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 20, 2013, 10:24:24 AM
:rolleyes:

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.
I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter :P
Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.

merithyn

Quote from: HVC on March 20, 2013, 12:04:45 PM
I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter :P

So, basically, you blame the current divorce rate on women?
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

fhdz

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:55:42 AM
Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

:yes:

The state of being "in love", which lasts for about 2 years on average, is a chemical process.

Real love, which hopefully comes after that (but often doesn't, after the shine wears off) is a series of choices - sometimes really difficult ones - with absolutely no Platonic ideal at the end of the road.
and the horse you rode in on

Malthus

Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:55:42 AM
Quote from: Valmy on March 20, 2013, 11:16:12 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 20, 2013, 10:24:24 AM
:rolleyes:

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

Not sure I understand the divorce rate point. If divorce rates were lower, could than not simply mean more people were buying into the "mysticism"? And if they were higher, that less were?

In short, what would the divorce rate be in the ideal society? Very high, because people had a low tolerance for bullshit in a relationship and were not restrained by some artificial desire based on an unrealistically mystical view of love to keep a marriage going where it should not, or very low, because people were so well-adjusted they rarely made the mistake of marrying the wrong person?
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

HVC

Quote from: merithyn on March 20, 2013, 12:06:52 PM
Quote from: HVC on March 20, 2013, 12:04:45 PM
I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter :P

So, basically, you blame the current divorce rate on women?
huh? No, I'm saying people live longer and so have more time to change and grow apart and that now women don't have to stay in an abusive/miserable relationship out of financial need. I think those are the two leading causes.


Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.

Berkut

Quote from: Malthus on March 20, 2013, 12:09:19 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 20, 2013, 11:55:42 AM
Quote from: Valmy on March 20, 2013, 11:16:12 AM
Quote from: garbon on March 20, 2013, 10:24:24 AM
:rolleyes:

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

Not sure I understand the divorce rate point. If divorce rates were lower, could than not simply mean more people were buying into the "mysticism"? And if they were higher, that less were?

In short, what would the divorce rate be in the ideal society? Very high, because people had a low tolerance for bullshit in a relationship and were not restrained by some artificial desire based on an unrealistically mystical view of love to keep a marriage going where it should not, or very low, because people were so well-adjusted they rarely made the mistake of marrying the wrong person?

Considerably lower than it is now, but not super low.

Ideally, we would see two things that would result in a lower divorce rate:

1. A healthier understanding of what makes a relationship actually viable  in the long run, resulting in grater consideration going into the decision to get married, and fewer "doomed" marriages, and
2. A better understanding of what it takes to make a marriage work over the long run, and a better appreciation for the week by wekk effort necessary to make marriage work and be great, resulting in fewer marriages ending in divorce that could be saved.

But I don't think the number would (or should) be so low that there is a pressure to make a marriage survive even if it isn't really working. There are things that happen that are beyond the control of the people involved - people change, their priorities change, and sometimes that just means that a marriage entered into with open eyes and clear intentions may simply reach it's natural endpoint. But I think that would be a relatively atypical occurrence.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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fhdz

Emperor Fahdiz proposes a 3-year waiting period on marriage; like gun control, but better.
and the horse you rode in on

merithyn

Quote from: HVC on March 20, 2013, 12:10:39 PM
Quote from: merithyn on March 20, 2013, 12:06:52 PM
Quote from: HVC on March 20, 2013, 12:04:45 PM
I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter :P

So, basically, you blame the current divorce rate on women?
huh? No, I'm saying people live longer and so have more time to change and grow apart and that now women don't have to stay in an abusive/miserable relationship out of financial need. I think those are the two leading causes.

Your post:

I blame people living longer. (Gender neutral)
I blame financial independence of women. (Women)
I blame women getting fatter. (Women)

:hmm:

Your clarification helps, but I'm still watching you... :mad:
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...