Would you consider your spouse getting fat a good reason for divorce?

[Berkut]

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

[garbon]

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

The rolleyes was at legbiter and der who were so lamely throwing poo at Meri. Nothing to do with your recent posts.

[derspiess]

Yeah, that's it, Berk.  Blame the Christians

[merithyn]

You really should act as if they may say "Fuck it, I am out of here" if you don't make sure they want to be with you, even if you really do know there isn't any practical chance of that happening.

That, to me, is the difference between co-dependence and a healthy relationship. One should never feel so settled as to believe that their partner won't leave. I know that Max would be just fine without me, so I work to make sure that he's happy enough to stay.

[Berkut]

Yeah, that's it, Berk.  Blame the Christians

OK.

[Berkut]

Yeah, that's it, Berk.  Blame the Christians

OK.

Actually, I take that back - I am not blaming the Christians, I am blaming Christianity. Not really the same thing.

[derspiess]

Actually, I take that back - I am not blaming the Christians, I am blaming Christianity. Not really the same thing.

OK.

[HVC]

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter

[merithyn]

I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter

So, basically, you blame the current divorce rate on women?

[fhdz]

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

The state of being "in love", which lasts for about 2 years on average, is a chemical process.

Real love, which hopefully comes after that (but often doesn't, after the shine wears off) is a series of choices - sometimes really difficult ones - with absolutely no Platonic ideal at the end of the road.

[Malthus]

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

Not sure I understand the divorce rate point. If divorce rates were lower, could than not simply mean more people were buying into the "mysticism"? And if they were higher, that less were?

In short, what would the divorce rate be in the ideal society? Very high, because people had a low tolerance for bullshit in a relationship and were not restrained by some artificial desire based on an unrealistically mystical view of love to keep a marriage going where it should not, or very low, because people were so well-adjusted they rarely made the mistake of marrying the wrong person?

[HVC]

I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter

So, basically, you blame the current divorce rate on women?

huh? No, I'm saying people live longer and so have more time to change and grow apart and that now women don't have to stay in an abusive/miserable relationship out of financial need. I think those are the two leading causes.

[Berkut]

Yeah you guys are laying it on sorta thick don't you think?

Divorce rate in our society is right around 50%. Something needs to be laid on quite  bit thicker than it is now.

Personally, I blame the continuing influence of the Christian "ideal" in what defines marriage, sex, relationships, and the related "mysticism" that goes along with people's concept of what "love" is.

Not sure I understand the divorce rate point. If divorce rates were lower, could than not simply mean more people were buying into the "mysticism"? And if they were higher, that less were?

In short, what would the divorce rate be in the ideal society? Very high, because people had a low tolerance for bullshit in a relationship and were not restrained by some artificial desire based on an unrealistically mystical view of love to keep a marriage going where it should not, or very low, because people were so well-adjusted they rarely made the mistake of marrying the wrong person?

Considerably lower than it is now, but not super low.

Ideally, we would see two things that would result in a lower divorce rate:

1. A healthier understanding of what makes a relationship actually viable  in the long run, resulting in grater consideration going into the decision to get married, and fewer "doomed" marriages, and
2. A better understanding of what it takes to make a marriage work over the long run, and a better appreciation for the week by wekk effort necessary to make marriage work and be great, resulting in fewer marriages ending in divorce that could be saved.

But I don't think the number would (or should) be so low that there is a pressure to make a marriage survive even if it isn't really working. There are things that happen that are beyond the control of the people involved - people change, their priorities change, and sometimes that just means that a marriage entered into with open eyes and clear intentions may simply reach it's natural endpoint. But I think that would be a relatively atypical occurrence.

[fhdz]

Emperor Fahdiz proposes a 3-year waiting period on marriage; like gun control, but better.

[merithyn]

I "blame" people living a hell of a lot longer and female financial freedom. And I guess, to keep with the threads theme, wives getting fatter

So, basically, you blame the current divorce rate on women?

huh? No, I'm saying people live longer and so have more time to change and grow apart and that now women don't have to stay in an abusive/miserable relationship out of financial need. I think those are the two leading causes.

Your post:

I blame people living longer. (Gender neutral)
I blame financial independence of women. (Women)
I blame women getting fatter. (Women)



Your clarification helps, but I'm still watching you...