The war on men

[HVC]

Well even that can be managed with a pre-nuptial agreement.

Which get knocked down all the time.

[Drakken]

Well even that can be managed with a pre-nuptial agreement.

Pre-nups are hardly fullproof, if only because they have to be contracted in States that recognize them. Even then they can be voided in court.

[Valmy]

Well even that can be managed with a pre-nuptial agreement.

Which get knocked down all the time.

I guess I just feel so bulletproof being a poor

[merithyn]

See?! SEE?!!

The multiple daddy thing is pushing it

But the same stigma isn't applied to a woman who's been married twice and has children from both husbands.

So to claim that marriage isn't necessary is just bullshit.

[Valmy]

But the same stigma isn't applied to a woman who's been married twice and has children from both husbands.

So to claim that marriage isn't necessary is just bullshit.

Generally I think it only applies when the number starts getting ridiculous.  Like four kids to four different partners or something.  YOu might be considered less trashy, I guess, if you married all of them....maybe.

[merithyn]

if you're married, everything acquired during marriage must be split 50-50.  That means if you make 250k$ a year and your spouse stays at home, you got to split the house in two.

It is problematic for many SMBs.  Companies tend to grow over time, even farms.  Even if the spouse does not work for the business, has no ties to it, he/she will be entitled to 50% of its net value when they divorce, if the business was acquired/started during marriage.

Many SMB owners have been forced to sell their business to pay for these costs.

As always in Quebec, we use a bazooka to kill a fly.

[HVC]

See?! SEE?!!

The multiple daddy thing is pushing it

But the same stigma isn't applied to a woman who's been married twice and has children from both husbands.

So to claim that marriage isn't necessary is just bullshit.

But on average multiple fathers is "indicative of serious trash right there". Having multiple fathers does not make one "trash", but it is a clue that someone is "trash". If that makes sense.

[merithyn]

But the same stigma isn't applied to a woman who's been married twice and has children from both husbands.

So to claim that marriage isn't necessary is just bullshit.

Generally I think it only applies when the number starts getting ridiculous.  Like four kids to four different partners or something.  YOu might be considered less trashy, I guess, if you married all of them....maybe.

Nope. Two babies, two baby-daddies, no ring = trash. At least around here that's the general rule of thumb, it seems.

[viper37]

Hence the 'unless you are rich' part.  How many divorces actually end up in alimony being paid?

Typical single-family house in the greater Montreal area sells in excess of 300 000$.  Actually, 200 000$ will get you a side by side duplex.

So, you get a house, 400 000$ in Laval.

10 years later, you divorce.

You owe the bank 300 000 of your 400 000$, you owe your spouse 200 000$ as her share of the house.
You can refinance the mortgage and pay your spouse, assuming you can afford the mortgage alone.
Then you need to pay him or her so the lifestyle remain the same.  It doesn't need to be much, but if you make 150k$ a year and she makes 75k$ a year, you need to pay her so she can live as if you were together.
I wouldn't call that very rich.

Yet, you now have to sell the house and find yourself a small apartment or a small condo.

[merithyn]

But on average multiple fathers is "indicative of serious trash right there". Having multiple fathers does not make one "trash", but it is a clue that someone is "trash". If that makes sense.

Sure, but people who judge don't usually bother to find out the finer details.

[viper37]

Nope. Two babies, two baby-daddies, no ring = trash. At least around here that's the general rule of thumb, it seems.

Well, at two, if you live with the father of the 2nd, no stigma.  If you got a 3rd man in your life though...

[Drakken]

That may be the case where you are, but around here, there's still a backlash to a certain degree. It's not obvious nor ubiquitous, but it's there, and almost always by women against women. It's kind of an attitude of "Oh, she couldn't get her man to commit!" God forbid that a woman have more than one child by more than one man, having never married any of them. That's indicative of serious trash right there.

Well indeed, such a woman would not be considered to be "wife material" by a lot of men, either. So yes, negative connotations do exist, and do matter.

I'm not saying that a woman's reputation doesn't play a role anymore. It does, as no sane man wants to commit with a slut, or a known monkey brancher, or a woman that would pull her chips out and leave for the flimsiest of reasons. What I'm saying is that the negative connotation is not on the children being born out of wedlock, but their mother's lack of emotional maturity and commitment, clued by the fact that she has children with several men who are all out of the picture.

Here in Quebec, a mother having children by more than one father is far from being abnormal, and far from being the object of gossip and social shinning as here reconstituted families are the norm more and more.

[merithyn]

Well indeed, such a woman would not be considered to be "wife material" by a lot of men, either. So yes, negative connotations do exist, and do matter.

I'm not saying that a woman's reputation doesn't play a role anymore. It does, as no sane man wants to commit with a slut, or a monkey brancher, or a woman that would pull her chips out and leave for the flimsiest of reasons. What I'm saying is that the negative connotation is not on the children being born out of wedlock, but their mother's lack of emotional maturity and commitment. Here in Quebec, a mother having children by more than one father is far from being abnormal, and far from being the object of gossip and social shinning as here reconstituted families are the norm more and more.

This from the man who's refusing to marry his girlfriend because it's important to her. 

[Drakken]

This from the man who's refusing to marry his girlfriend because it's important to her. 

I see what you did there.

Because I see no reason to commit legally, I don't believe in marriage. I don't have to marry because she wants to, or she pressures me, or she coerces me. Remember, the right to dispose of one's body and sexuality freely and without constraint? As a feminist it should ring a bell, shouldn't it?

[Valmy]

Here in Quebec, a mother having children by more than one father is far from being abnormal, and far from being the object of gossip and social shinning as here reconstituted families are the norm more and more.

Quebec mothers having more than one child at all is a tad abnormal judging by their fertility rate.