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If you met God...

Started by The Brain, October 13, 2012, 05:29:02 AM

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...what would you say to Him?

"What is The Truth Regarding All Things?"
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Why the hell aren't you ethnic, gay or female??!?"
"I like your moves, especially the early, furious ones."
"Have you ever had a problem with... freshness?"
"Honey, we're pregnant!"
"What's the deal with New York? It's neither New, York, nor an Empire."
"F U JARON"

Martinus

Quote from: Viking on October 13, 2012, 01:21:23 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on October 13, 2012, 01:17:25 PM
Quote from: Viking on October 13, 2012, 05:35:39 AM
"Why don't you look like Alanis Morrisette or Morgan Freeman?"


but seriously..

"Why did you insist we make decisions determining the fate of our eternal souls based on false, flawed, contradictory and incomplete information?"

I imagine that if you met God you'd be trying to convince yourself you are hallucinating.  Either that or become extremely worshipful.  You seem the type that could go from militant atheist to fanatical God bother.

I accepted the challenge on face value and within the scope of the questioners intent. I'm dead, too late to do anything and am faced with the fact that there is a god and I am given a chance to say something.

I thought being dead is not part of the question - I assumed I'm still alive.

Eddie Teach

Quote from: Syt on October 13, 2012, 05:53:41 AM
"Are you trying to make your way home? Back up to haven all alone?"

I'd ask him why he won't return my phone calls. If nobody's calling he must have changed his number or something.
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?

CountDeMoney

Quote from: Martinus on October 13, 2012, 01:19:20 PM
"So, gay foot fetish should be alright, what with Jesus washing feet of the Apostles and all, right?"

I don't recall Jesus jamming all five digits into his mouth like it was a Warsaw hotdog eating contest while draping his cock with dirty tube socks in my copy of the Children's Illustrated Bible.  Was it in yours?

Ed Anger

Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 04:34:28 PM
Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

Ed Anger

Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 13, 2012, 05:01:29 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 04:34:28 PM
Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

I was being humble.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Neil

"Who are you and what are you doing in My chair?"
I do not hate you, nor do I love you, but you are made out of atoms which I can use for something else.

Octavian

Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 05:40:59 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 13, 2012, 05:01:29 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 04:34:28 PM
Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

I was being humble.

He will give you the women from Mamas and Papas instead. The thin one represents His merciful New Testament side while the fat one His douchebaggy Old Testament side.

If you let someone handcuff you, and put a rope around your neck, don't act all surprised if they hang you!

- Eyal Yanilov.

Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life. Do not be concerned with escaping safely - lay your life before him.

- Bruce Lee

Ed Anger

Quote from: Octavian on October 13, 2012, 05:59:08 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 05:40:59 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on October 13, 2012, 05:01:29 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 04:34:28 PM
Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

I was being humble.

He will give you the women from Mamas and Papas instead. The thin one represents His merciful New Testament side while the fat one His douchebaggy Old Testament side.

:mad:
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Ed Anger

Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 06:09:24 PM
Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.

Bingo.

katmai

Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 06:09:24 PM
Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.
god makes siege's dreams come
True?
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Ed Anger

Quote from: katmai on October 13, 2012, 06:13:36 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 06:09:24 PM
Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.
god makes siege's dreams come
True?

He's got to give the heebs something for all those years of misery.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

Quote from: katmai on October 13, 2012, 06:13:36 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on October 13, 2012, 06:09:24 PM
Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.
god makes siege's dreams come
True?

No, as he'd prefer 8 year old Natalie.  He would be disappointed.