If you met God...

[Martinus]

"Why don't you look like Alanis Morrisette or Morgan Freeman?"


but seriously..

"Why did you insist we make decisions determining the fate of our eternal souls based on false, flawed, contradictory and incomplete information?"

I imagine that if you met God you'd be trying to convince yourself you are hallucinating.  Either that or become extremely worshipful.  You seem the type that could go from militant atheist to fanatical God bother.

I accepted the challenge on face value and within the scope of the questioners intent. I'm dead, too late to do anything and am faced with the fact that there is a god and I am given a chance to say something.

I thought being dead is not part of the question - I assumed I'm still alive.

[Eddie Teach]

"Are you trying to make your way home? Back up to haven all alone?"

I'd ask him why he won't return my phone calls. If nobody's calling he must have changed his number or something.

[CountDeMoney]

"So, gay foot fetish should be alright, what with Jesus washing feet of the Apostles and all, right?"

I don't recall Jesus jamming all five digits into his mouth like it was a Warsaw hotdog eating contest while draping his cock with dirty tube socks in my copy of the Children's Illustrated Bible.  Was it in yours?

[Ed Anger]

Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

[CountDeMoney]

Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

[Ed Anger]

Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

I was being humble.

[Neil]

"Who are you and what are you doing in My chair?"

[Octavian]

Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

I was being humble.

He will give you the women from Mamas and Papas instead. The thin one represents His merciful New Testament side while the fat one His douchebaggy Old Testament side.

[Ed Anger]

Hello. As an agnostic, please prove yourself by giving me a orgy with Natalie Portman and emma de caunes. Thank you.

Aiming kinda low, are you? Hell, God doesn't need to do that, plenty of minor prophets can handle that request.

I was being humble.

He will give you the women from Mamas and Papas instead. The thin one represents His merciful New Testament side while the fat one His douchebaggy Old Testament side.

[Ed Anger]

Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.

[CountDeMoney]

Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.

Bingo.

[katmai]

Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.

god makes siege's dreams come
True?

[Ed Anger]

Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.

god makes siege's dreams come
True?

He's got to give the heebs something for all those years of misery.

[CountDeMoney]

Since god has a sense of humor, I'd get 12 year old Natalie Portman and Miley Cyrus.

god makes siege's dreams come
True?

No, as he'd prefer 8 year old Natalie.  He would be disappointed.

[crazy canuck]

"lol, you have done a shitty job"