Jim'll fuck it

[Gups]

The transcript of a (obviously) not-broadcasted segment of Have I got News for You

Cliffs notes for furriners:

Jimmy Saville was a very famous presenter of prime time shows aimed at kids and adolescents in the 60s & 70s and early 80s. There were lots of rumours flying around that he was predatory towards adolescent girls. A recent documentary demonstrated that he was a serial offender. Unfortunately he died without having to face justice.

Have I got News for You is a verty popular satirical panel show. The two regulars Ian Hislop and Paul Merton regularly rip into the celebrity/politician  guests but not usually to this extent.




DEAYTON: You used to be a wrestler didn't you?
SAVILLE: I still am.
DEAYTON: Are you?
SAVILLE: I'm feared in every girls' school in the country.
(Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Yeah, I've heard about that.
SAVILLE: What have you heard?
DEAYTON: I've...
MERTON: Something about a cunt with a rancid, pus-filled cock.
(Huge audience laugh; Awkward pause)
SAVILLE: I advise you to wash your mouth out, my friend...
MERTON: That's what she had to do! (Audience laughs)
HISLOP: Weren't you leaving money in phone boxes or something?
(Saville glares at him) Or have I got completely the wrong end of the...
SAVILLE: (To Deayton, heavily) The question you asked was about wrestling.
DEAYTON: Yes. And then you mentioned girls' schools. I don't know whe...
SAVILLE: Well I understood this was a comedy programme. I realise now how wrong I was. (Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: So were you a professional wrestler?
SAVILLE: Yes I was.
DEAYTON: (To audience) Glad we got that cleared up.(Pulls face; audience giggles)
HISLOP: Feared by every girls' school in the country...
SAVILLE: That's right.
MERTON: Due to having a rancid, pus-filled cock.(Huge audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Erm...
HISLOP: You're on top form tonight, Paul...
SAVILLE: (Strangely) I'm...this is not what I...
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) OK, do you...(inaudible section)...shall we, for pick-ups...
MERTON: I'm terribly sorry. I don't know what came over me.
SAVILLE: A pus-filled cock, I imagine. (Shocked audience laugh)
MERTON: Oh, it's nice to see you joining in. We'd been waiting for you, you sad senile old shitter. (Audience appears to do double-take)
DEAYTON: I think we...d-d-you you want to apologise to our guest, Paul?
MERTON: Sorry, I do apologise. Sir senile old shitter, is what I meant to say.
(Audience laugh; pause) Sir senile old shitter...who fucks minors.
(Audience unrest)
HISLOP: Sorry, I'm just looking at our lawyer again. (Waves) Hello!
(Audience laughs)
DEAYTON: Shall we get back on course with this, or sha...
SAVILLE: I do fuck miners, that's quite correct. I have always done so. They can do the most wonderful things with cigars. The coal...
MERTON: What, they stick them up your senile, pus-filled arse?
(Audience laughs)
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV): Come on...I'm getting an ear-bashing here. It's...
MERTON: Oh they want to continue. Sorry, I'll contain myself. Carry on...
DEAYTON: Right (Pause) You used to be a professional wrestler didn't you?
(Huge audience laugh)
SAVILLE: (Calmly) I did.
DEAYTON: You didn't have a nickname or anything?
SAVILLE: Yes - 'Loser'. (Audience laughs)
___________________________________
Out-take 4: 21'20
Following a discussion about caravans:
DEAYTON: Last month, Roger Moore sold his luxury caravan in Malta. Asked by the...
MERTON: I visited your caravan the other week, Jimmy.
SAVILLE: Did you really?
MERTON: Oh yes. Interesting what you can find, if you have a bit of a poke.
(Audience laugh)
HISLOP: He just told you, it was twelve years ago...
SAVILLE: No, I lived in it for twelve years.
MERTON: And fucked twelve year olds. (Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Here we go again...I'll be backstage if anyone wants me.
MERTON: (Indicating Saville) That's what you said to the kids on your show, wasn't it?
(Audience laugh)
SAVILLE: No, they never did want me.
HISLOP: Not even Sarah Cornley?
SAVILLE: She was an exception.
DEAYTON: Who's Sarah Cornley?
SAVILLE: Sarah Cornley is...
HISLOP: About fifteen grand in damages, wasn't she?
(Uncertain audience laugh)
SAVILLE: That's right.
HISLOP: So if I was going to mention that you threatened to break her arm if she said anything...
SAVILLE: You'd be very wrong. (Pause) I said I'd break both her arms.
(Audience unease)
MERTON: Fucking hell. I mean, you're just sitting there, all shell suit and cigar wearing those fucking...I don't know what they are.
SAVILLE: Chrome-plated SC-700 sun-visors, these are. Sent to me by...
MERTON: We don't give a shit. Ladies and gentlemen, Sir James Saville OBE. Jim has fixed it for me to have my arms broken. Meet this depressing old fucked up cunt of a fucker on television who's riddled with cancer and fucking pubic lice.
HISLOP: (To lawyer again) Hello! (Audience laughs)
MERTON: Christ, I mean ha ha, big fucking joke - the fucking lawyers are involved, tee hee. It doesn't change anything.
DEAYTON:  (Visibly out of character) Do you wanna stop, or...?
MERTON: No I don't fucking want to stop. It's all shit! You'll expect a comedy walkout in a minute, won't you? I mean, big bloody joke - I'm going to quote Shakespeare in a minute, how fucking out of character. And Ian knows about football - oh my fucking sides.
SAVILLE: You've never fucked anyone in your life, boy.
MERTON: Oh fuck off...
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) ...About five minutes, just to...(Phil Davey enters)
PHIL DAVEY: OK, well top that as they say. You're looking troubled by that, aren't you mate? I tell you, I came back from Amsterdam recently...
RECORDING PLACED ON STAND-BY; CUTS BACK TO CLOSE-UP OF DEAYTON
AWAITING HIS CUE
DEAYTON: OK. Second time lucky. (Pause) Last month, Roger Moore sold  his luxury caravan in Malta. Asked by the New York Times about his relaxed acting style...

[merithyn]

Why was this man not arrested? 

[Capetan Mihali]

The transcript appears to be a work of fiction...

http://dangerousminds.net/comments/bbc_faces_serious_questions_over_sir_jimmy_savile_under_age_sex_allegations

[Josquius]

Jimmy Saville died?
Holy fuck I missed that.
Now he'll never fix it for me.

[Brazen]

There's a necrophiliac paedophile character based on Savile in Irvine Welsh's 1996 book Ecstasy, and the rumours were pretty well established by then. Sad that the BBC and Stoke Mandeville Hospital chose to spread gossip rather than go to the police.

One L, by the way.

[Brazen]

Why was this man not arrested? 

Too valuable to the BBC (he was the Simon Cowell of his day) and Stoke Mandeville. Also the 70s in the UK was a whole different world. A girl who accused a figure of authority of sexual assault would have been vilified.

[Richard Hakluyt]

Casting my mind back to the 1970s...........

.........nobody would have cared less about consensual sex with 16 year-olds.

13-16 is understandable/comprehensible.

Rape is rape.

I suspect that the furore right now will be around the age of his victims, back in the 70s, if he had been reported it would have been about the coercion ie rape.

[CountDeMoney]

DEAYTON: Who's Sarah Cornley?
SAVILLE: Sarah Cornley is...
HISLOP: About fifteen grand in damages, wasn't she?
(Uncertain audience laugh)
SAVILLE: That's right.
HISLOP: So if I was going to mention that you threatened to break her arm if she said anything...
SAVILLE: You'd be very wrong. (Pause) I said I'd break both her arms.
(Audience unease)

Hell, I laughed.  Certainly and easily.

[Richard Hakluyt]

DEAYTON: Who's Sarah Cornley?
SAVILLE: Sarah Cornley is...
HISLOP: About fifteen grand in damages, wasn't she?
(Uncertain audience laugh)
SAVILLE: That's right.
HISLOP: So if I was going to mention that you threatened to break her arm if she said anything...
SAVILLE: You'd be very wrong. (Pause) I said I'd break both her arms.
(Audience unease)

Hell, I laughed.  Certainly and easily.

It's a fantastic show, watch it if you can. Hislop can be reasonably polite if he doesn't like a guest but Merton is merciless 

[Maladict]

They should bring Deayton back.

[Malthus]

Interestingly, he was the face of British Rail railcards in the early 80's, leading to posters such as this, with him leering under the slogan "Children £1 each":

http://www.specialistauctions.com/cache/cache_500_1__mb101813_5fb58b6ffcfe503bce062974dd5adda5_mainpicjpg.img?8208

[Ed Anger]

A track suit. What a shocka.

[jimmy olsen]

Damn, 300 victims have come forward so far, some abused in their hospital beds!

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/10/27/14722759-jimmy-savile-abuse-scandal-stuns-britain-a-whos-who-primer?lite

[CountDeMoney]

some abused in their hospital beds!

So you know where they're coming from, what with getting teabagged in your chemo-weakened condition, getting your bald ass leukemia head polished by someone's knob to a bright, waxed shine.

[jimmy olsen]

That's so fucking weak. Name names and British libel laws be damned!

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/11/02/14886390-bbc-reports-allegations-that-politician-abused-boys-in-70s-90s-but-doesnt-say-who?lite

BBC reports allegations that politician abused boys in '70s, '90s -- but doesn't say who

By NBC News staff and wire services

The BBC current affairs program "Newsnight" on Friday night aired allegations that a senior Conservative politician from the Margaret Thatcher era had sexually abused boys in the 1970s and 1990s as part of a scandal involving children's homes in North Wales.

But the BBC stopped short of naming the politician, bringing a torrent of tweets criticizing its report.

Earlier Friday, The Telegraph newspaper reported that  former Newsnight presenter Michael Crick tweeted: "'Senior political figure' due to be accused tonight by BBC of being paedophile denies allegations + tells me he'll issue libel writ agst BBC."

A subsequent tweet read: "The senior political figure due to be accused paedophile activity by BBC tonight tells me that he still hasn't heard from them for response."

In a later post on its website, the BBC said the allegations arose from a scandal alleging child sexual abuse at children's homes in North Wales in the 1970s and 1980s that started coming to light in the early 1990s. The allegations led to investigations and a government-ordered inquiry, the 2000 Waterhouse Tribunal.

In the Newsnight segment, a man said he had been repeatedly abused by the politician in the late 1970s. Steve Messham claimed that he had been abused "more than a dozen times" and that when he finally went to the police, "I was called a liar." He called for a new investigation.

Newsnight said a man claiming that he also had been abused by the politician had been interviewed for BBC radio in 2000. Newsnight said it had not been able to find the man for its report, but it provided an unusual dramatization of the man's radio interview.

According to the dramatization, the man said he had gone to North Wales police but had been told there wasn't enough evidence.

British comic Freddie Starr arrested in Savile abuse case

Police believe former TV star Jimmy Savile, a national icon, may have been one of Britain's worst pedophile offenders. Some of Savile's alleged 300 victims had appeared on his TV shows. NBC's Keir Simmons reports.

On Thursday, British police arrested comedian Freddie Starr as part of an investigation triggered by allegations that the late BBC presenter Jimmy Savile sexually abused hundreds of children, according to media reports.

The allegations have shaken Britain's state-funded broadcaster, with hundreds of people now coming forward to report abuse dating back over several decades by Savile, a household name in Britain.

Lawyers representing some of the victims have said their clients indicated an organized pedophile ring involving celebrities existed at the BBC during the height of Savile's fame in the 1970s and 1980s.

'A steep fall' for BBC as child sex abuse scandal rocks the UK

On Sunday, police arrested glam rock singer and convicted sex offender Gary Glitter, born Paul Gadd, as part of the Savile investigation. He was released on bail.

BBC Director General George Entwistle and his predecessor, Mark Thompson, incoming chief executive officer of the New York Times Co., have come under heavy criticism for their handling of suspicions about Savile.

A BBC investigation into Savile was dropped last year, when Thompson was at the helm. It took a rival network, ITV, to uncover the scandal. Thompson has said he did not know about the program's investigation and had no involvement in the decision to axe the report.

It's still not clear why the well-regarded show "Newsnight" dropped the investigation, and there is no suggestion that either Thompson or Entwistle were involved in a cover up. But, on top of the BBC's failure to stop Savile, its shelving of his investigation has shocked the UK. The BBC's journalism is fiercely independent; its own journalists have done much to make the Savile story headline news, but many of the questions are about the competency of BBC's management rather than individual reporters and producers.

NBC's Keir Simmons and Reuters contributed to this report.