If I had a time machine, I now know where I'd go.

[Fireblade]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/25/obama-pot-smoking-details_n_1545904.html

The meticulous biographer David Maraniss revealed President Barack Obama's early girlfriends in an excerpt of his forthcoming biography, and now the Internet is seizing upon new details of the president smoking marijuana with his buddies at the Punahou School in Hawaii.

Politico's Playbook teased the following excerpt from "Barack Obama: The Story," which will be published in June but is already viewable on Google Books. "When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted 'Intercepted!' and took an extra hit," Maraniss writes. But Obama's buddies, who called themselves the "Choom Gang," didn't mind him messing up the rotation. (After all, this was Hawaii.)

That's not all. Maraniss writes that Obama was known for starting a trend called "TA," short for "total absorption."

    "When you were with Barry and his pals, if you exhaled precious pakalolo (Hawaiian slang for marijuana, meaning "numbing tobacco") instead of absorbing it fully into your lungs, you were assessed a penalty and your turn was skipped the next time the joint came around.

Maraniss also describes Obama's technique of "roof hits" while hot-boxing cars. "When the pot was gone, they tilted their heads back and sucked in the last bit of smoke from the ceiling," he writes.

The fate of their dealer, Ray, was far more tragic than those of Obama and his largely privileged pals. In a scene that could've been in a Quentin Tarantino movie, a "scorned gay lover" later killed Ray with a ball-peen hammer.

The Huffington Post can't independently verify the claims of Maraniss, who won a Pulitzer Prize for National Reporting in 1993.

Obama has been less than shy about his drug use in the past, writing about the topic in "Dreams from My Father." "Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it," he writes in the memoir.

Obama's tone grows darker, and drugs are an escape for the young Obama, who is facing questions about his own identity:

    Junkie. Pothead. That's where I'd been headed: the final, fatal role of the young would-be black man. Except the highs hadn't been about that, me trying to prove what a down brother I was. Not by them, anyway. I got high for just the opposite effect, something that could push questions of who I was out of my mind, something that could flatten out the landscape of my heart, blur the edges of my memory. I had discovered that it didn't make any difference whether you smoked reefer in the white classmate's sparkling new van, or in the dorm room of some brother you'd met down at the gym, or on the beach with a couple of Hawaiian kids who had dropped out of school and now spent most of their time looking for an excuse to brawl.

As Obama moved to higher stage, he's also been forthcoming about drug use. On Bill Clinton's personal triangulation that he had tried marijuana but "didn't inhale," Obama said smiling in 2006, "That was the point, wasn't it?"

Later in "Dreams from My Father," one of Obama's friends was arrested for drug possession and his mother, home from Indonesia, confronted him about it in his room, and he walked out.

The fun continued for Obama at Occidental College in Los Angeles, but he became much more serious after transferring to Columbia University after his sophomore year, when he lived, in his words, "like a monk."

He sounds a hell of a lot cooler during his stoner years than Bush probably was back in his cheerleader cokehead days. If I had to wager a guess, I bet Obama was the kind of guy who offered fat blunts to total strangers just because he thought they needed to burn one, while Bush probably had an "incident" where he beat the fuck out of some poor guy who walked in the bathroom while he was snorting the finest Colombian yay off some dude's cock.

[CountDeMoney]

Bah, marijuana.

I'm much more fascinated with the internet conspirators more concerned with Obama being on the down low.

[Razgovory]

I guess he was a little less stiff then.  Honestly, Obama has always struck me as a bit of a cold fish.  The guy sounds like a teacher.

[11B4V]

I guess he was a little less stiff then.  Honestly, Obama has always struck me as a bit of a cold fish.  The guy sounds like a teacher.

He has never struck me that way. Just laid back.

[CountDeMoney]

I guess he was a little less stiff then.  Honestly, Obama has always struck me as a bit of a cold fish.  The guy sounds like a teacher.

He has never struck me that way. Just laid back.

I do like watching him ramp up and getting into campaign mode, though.  He does speechify pretty well.  Dropped fucking "Cow Pie of Distortion" on Mittens yesterday.  Too cool.

The debates will be fun.

[Siege]

This is a no brainer.

I would go back to the year 611 and cut Mohamed's head and feed it to some random pigs.

[11B4V]

This is a no brainer.

I would go back to the year 611 and cut Mohamed's head and feed it to some random pigs.

Got an Axe to grind...eh?

[Jaron]

This is a no brainer.

I would go back to the year 611 and cut Mohamed's head and feed it to some random pigs.

You probably would have converted. The tribal instincts are strong in you and Mohammed is of your flock.

[jimmy olsen]

This is a no brainer.

I would go back to the year 611 and cut Mohamed's head and feed it to some random pigs.

Causing a time paradox that erases you and everyone alive from the time space continuum.

[Jaron]

This is a no brainer.

I would go back to the year 611 and cut Mohamed's head and feed it to some random pigs.

Causing a time paradox that erases you and everyone alive from the time space continuum.

There is no such thing as a time paradox.

[jimmy olsen]

This is a no brainer.

I would go back to the year 611 and cut Mohamed's head and feed it to some random pigs.

Causing a time paradox that erases you and everyone alive from the time space continuum.

There is no such thing as a time paradox.

Oh, do tell, oh master of quantum and temporal physics.

[Ideologue]

Think it through.  Either time travel is impossible, or paradoxes are.  For the sake of fun, we're pretending time travel is possible, so paradoxes must not be.

[Jaron]

In your FACE, Ortiz!

[Ideologue]

Further, we can say that actually "altering history" in the classical sense, and therefore instantaneously changing the state of every particle within the event's light cone for every split second in many billions or possibly an infinite number of years, a task requiring ridiculous or perhaps infinite amounts of energy, would violate thermodynamics, and is therefore stupid.

If you went back and killed Mohammed, the Mohammed in your history still existed.  So there's not a lot of point, except to conquer savages; which is, I concede, a reward in itself.

P.S. I heard some quote from Kurt Vonnegut about semicolons the other day.  Yeah?  Well, repeating "So it goes" five trillion times in Slaughterhouse Five doesn't make you smart either, Mr. Writer Man.  Also, he once blew off Kevin Murphy, who has brought far more joy to the world than Vonnegut ever even attempted.  If I had a time machine, I'd go kick his bomber-and-punctuation-hating ass.

[Josquius]

Yet still he does nothing about the stuipidity with which the modern world treats weed.