Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[HVC]

a prank the languish father can try to pull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7HxiMWVL4g

[Malthus]

a prank the languish father can try to pull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7HxiMWVL4g

I'd do it, if I really relished divorce. 

And possibly a certain amount of domestic violence aimed at me as a preliminary.

[Barrister]

So Tracy was folding some laundry yesterday morning.

Timmy looks at one of her bras, and declares that it is a "nipple sack". 

[Grey Fox]

So Tracy was folding some laundry yesterday morning.

Timmy looks at one of her bras, and declares that it is a "nipple sack". 

My oldest says she also has breast like mom but they are smaller.

[CountDeMoney]

I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.

[Barrister]

So driving to daycare today, my oldest goes "Daddy!  That restaurant says T I M!  That's my name!"

Yup - my oldest was able to recognize his name in the Tim Horton's sign.  Part of me is sad at the obvious commercialization, but part of me is ecstatic, because it's the first thing he's actually ever read on his own.  He's still only 4.

[DGuller]

I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.

So, did that day ever come?

[sbr]

So driving to daycare today, my oldest goes "Daddy!  That restaurant says T I M!  That's my name!"

Yup - my oldest was able to recognize his name in the Tim Horton's sign.  Part of me is sad at the obvious commercialization, but part of me is ecstatic, because it's the first thing he's actually ever read on his own.  He's still only 4.

Nice. 

I'm 44 and my youngest is 19, so I will never have another kid but that is one of the things that could possibly make me consider it.

I really loved watching that tiny pink helpless thing not only grow physically, but to see them become aware of their surroundings, develop a real personality, show that they really learned something you taught them was amazing.

[Razgovory]

I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.

So, did that day ever come?

The tender age was 22.

[CountDeMoney]

I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.

So, did that day ever come?

Yup, about a week or so after that.

[DGuller]

I've been told that at a tender age I apparently announced to the patrons of a restaurant, when returning from the bathroom with my father, that one day I was going to have a pecker as large as Dad's.

So, did that day ever come?

Yup, about a week or so after that.

[Caliga]

Irish curse.

[CountDeMoney]

The 11 year old niece was telling us about her quiz on ancient peoples the other day.

Was telling us about the Egyptian mummification process, and how it was really gross.  Not the process itself, but how they didn't use latex gloves.

[The Brain]

I really loved watching that tiny pink helpless thing not only grow physically, but to see them become aware of their surroundings, develop a real personality, show that they really learned something you taught them was amazing.

That's quite a penis.

[Barrister]

Timmy: Daddy, did God screw us?

Me: Umm, how what do you mean Tim?

Timmy: How did God make us?  Did he use screws?





Also, the other day Timmy's friend was over for a sleepover.  It's bathtime, and with 4 boys we're going to do two separate baths, with the older ones first.

But Joshua was having nothing to do with that, so when our backs were turned he hauled himself into the freshly-drawn bath, clothes, diaper and all.