Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[Valmy]

Maybe a D&D novel. Some of those seem like they was written by a 6 year old. 

I don't know.  They might already be too sophisticated for Tasslehoff Burrfoot.

[Ed Anger]

 

I got this old book of warships with nice color drawings, and they like that. They also like the 70's era book on Soviet military equipment.

I've never been prouder. 

[Barrister]

So Timmy has his best buddy from pre-school over for a sleepover tonight - Angus.

Anytime you get pre-schoolers together, you should expect some problems.  Tonight we had a major issue with not sharing Transformers Rescuebots (pre-school edition) - they both have Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, but only Timmy has Boulder and Blades.  I tried to get them to share, but no doing - they both wanted to play with all of them.  So I took them away, which led to a meltdown on both ends.

But when dealing with preschoolers, these things shall pass.  A little while later, and I see Timmy and Angus are plating together just fine.  Timmy is being Santa Claus, and Angus is being his elf.  They sit on this little toddler couch as their sleigh, they steer it around, then they get out and deliver toys to all their little pre-school friends.  Then at the end they get out again at the North Pole.

Then I put them to bed.  Timmy's little brother Andrew has his own bed in Timmy's room, but when we tried to put him to sleep there he really fought it - so we're on a break from that, and thus Angus gets to sleep in that bed.  So we put them both to bed, I read them some stories (Robert Munsch FTW!), and put them to bed.

I go back in a half hour later, and yes - both of them are sleeping.  However, both of them are sleeping in the same bed, under the covers.

Yes - if Timmy turns out to be gay I'll take this as a warning sign, and it won't really matter anyways. 

[Barrister]

A couple weeks ago Tim comes up to me, gives me a big hug and says "I love you daddy because you always protect me from bears".


Now an Andrew story.  At 20 months, he's a man of few words - He knows mommy, daddy, baby, me (pointing at himself), puppy, nana (banana).  Not a lot, but he makes the most of those words.  We can have entire conversations, where I say something, he responds "daddy!", I say something, he again goes "daddy!".

And for not knowing a lot of words, he sure understands a lot.  I can say "Andrew do you want to go outside", to which he'll run to the front door, point outside, and if he think I'm moving too slow will start grabbing his toque and boots over to me to put on him.

[Ed Anger]

The Twins left me a note. They would like a Wii U. NOW.

Their grammar was more gooder than Tim's.

I plan on berating their choice of gaming system. N00bs.

[Barrister]

The other day Timmy wet the bad (our fault for giving him water to drink right before bed), then because it was easier we just let him crawl into our bed to finish sleeping.

I wake up and shower, then because it's still early and Timmy is still sleeping I climb back into bed while Mrs. B gets in the shower.  My alarm goes off again, and now Timmy wakes up.

He sees me, gives me a big hug and says "I love you daddy".

Then, without missing a beat, he says "What's taking my milk and my gummy* so long"? 


*his chewable vitamin

[Grey Fox]

[Barrister]

Conversation with Timmy this morning:

Tim: Is today Easter?
Me: Well, yes.  Today we remember when Jesus died on the cross, and then on Sunday we remember when he came back to life.
Tim: He came back to life?
Me: Yes.
Tim: Well, who gave him Easter eggs?

[Valmy]

The eggs remind us of the eggs the crowd threw at Jesus as he was going to be crucified and the chocolate bunnies are brown, representing the wood of the cross.

[Ed Anger]

One of the twins decided yesterday to punch me in the back of my left leg.

MAH MUSCLE.

Little fucker can punch. I got the most wicked bruise and I need painkillers stat.

[Tonitrus]

One of the twins decided yesterday to punch me in the back of my left leg.

MAH MUSCLE.

Little fucker can punch. I got the most wicked bruise and I need painkillers stat.

And so the uprising begins...

They'll be annexing some kind of Crimea next.

[Ed Anger]

They really want a Wii U.

[Barrister]

Yesterday at bath time I decided baby Joshua is big enough that he could go in the bath with his two brothers.  And sure enough he was fine - he's a champion sitter at this point.

Little Timmy looks at him and his two brothers, and makes this announcement: "Daddy, I have a big peepee, Andrew has a medium peepee, and Joshua has a little peepee".

Then he looks at me and goes "And daddy you have a HUGE peepee!". 

[Valmy]

Do you bath your kids naked or something?

[Barrister]

Do you bath your kids naked or something?

I'll usually take my shirt off to avoid it getting wet, but otherwise no.

He has seen me naked before though.