Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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CountDeMoney

#90
May 30, 2012, 05:54:48 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 30, 2012, 05:41:35 PM
Ugh. You kid will start cold calling people soon.

He'll be asking BB if he's rebooted his computer first.

Ed Anger

#91
May 30, 2012, 05:58:38 PM
I don't know why I'm dropping letters off my words today.  :(
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

HVC

#92
May 30, 2012, 06:14:53 PM
Old age


:P
Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.

Valmy

#93
May 31, 2012, 08:58:19 AM
My son makes his toy trains fight each other.  Where the heck did he learn that?  Have I modeled: violence?  :(

He has them beat the crap out of each other and then giggles hysterically.  Thomas the Tank Engine: ULTIMATE COMBAT!!111
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Grey Fox

#94
May 31, 2012, 09:01:10 AM
It's inherent to all man.

My girl turns 1 today & BB's kid 3.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

merithyn

#95
May 31, 2012, 09:25:11 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 31, 2012, 09:01:10 AM
It's inherent to all man.

My girl turns 1 today & BB's kid 3.

Happy birthday to them both!!
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

Barrister

#96
May 31, 2012, 02:24:59 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 31, 2012, 09:01:10 AM
It's inherent to all man.

My girl turns 1 today & BB's kid 3.

It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

CountDeMoney

#97
May 31, 2012, 02:28:36 PM
Quote from: Barrister on May 31, 2012, 02:24:59 PM
It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:

You're about to enter the truly hilarious part;  nothing is funnier than some of the shit they start saying from 2 through 5, when they start to learn to really communicate.  You'll be able to have a real conversation with him soon, and that shit is going to be hilarious.

Valmy

#98
May 31, 2012, 02:31:03 PM
Quote from: Barrister on May 31, 2012, 02:24:59 PM
It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:

Happy birthday Tim!
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Malthus

#99
May 31, 2012, 02:35:10 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on May 31, 2012, 02:28:36 PM
Quote from: Barrister on May 31, 2012, 02:24:59 PM
It is his birthday, but he only turned 2.   :cool:

You're about to enter the truly hilarious part;  nothing is funnier than some of the shit they start saying from 2 through 5, when they start to learn to really communicate.  You'll be able to have a real conversation with him soon, and that shit is going to be hilarious.

Fave Carl quote, circa 3 or so, on seeing a really fat man after having pregancy explained: "Oh boy, he's going to have ten babies!"
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Ed Anger

#100
May 31, 2012, 02:46:50 PM
Shopping with the twins at Big Lots, Katerina sees the cookies I've been buying. Sadly for me, she overhead me call them 'polack cookies' one day and recognizes the package. So I get this today:

HEY DADDY! POLACK COOKIES! I sense every head turning my way and was silently being judged by the poors.

:blush:

I still got me some delicious polack cookies.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

#101
May 31, 2012, 02:51:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 31, 2012, 02:46:50 PM
HEY DADDY! POLACK COOKIES! I sense every head turning my way and was silently being judged by the poors.

Apparently my mother had to rush me out of a grocery store because I kept pointing at a heavy-set black woman in line at the register behind us, and kept calling out "Moo cow."

Barrister

#102
May 31, 2012, 02:53:28 PM
:lol: at both of you.

Noothing super-embarassing from Tim - yet.
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Malthus

#103
May 31, 2012, 04:39:41 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on May 31, 2012, 02:51:45 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on May 31, 2012, 02:46:50 PM
HEY DADDY! POLACK COOKIES! I sense every head turning my way and was silently being judged by the poors.

Apparently my mother had to rush me out of a grocery store because I kept pointing at a heavy-set black woman in line at the register behind us, and kept calling out "Moo cow."

My mother took Carl swimming when he was 3 to the Columbus Centre, which is an Italian fitness place (she likes the pool there even though not Italian).

Being that Carl was only 3, she took him into the change room with her.

He said in the change room something like "Grandma, is that a woman? She has a moustache!"  :lol:

Sadly, he said it loudly. Much glaring ensued.  :(
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Grey Fox

#104
May 31, 2012, 09:22:06 PM
Ariel did not have a good birthday. We went to the restaurant, she wasn't an happy camper. She didn't eat anything & puker on her grand mother.

We ended up eating at home.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.
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