Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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Valmy

#30
May 18, 2012, 08:15:48 AM
Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on May 18, 2012, 07:35:13 AM
In a couple of weeks time I'm going to our local pub with my oldest and he's going to buy me a beer  :cheers:

Awwwwww :wub:

My son has fluid in his ears and I am going to have to pay a bunch to get tubes put in in a week :weep:

My second son is due in August and then I get to do the baby thing all over again.  I am having a hard time remembering what exactly happened last time...it is like I have parent amnesia.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

CountDeMoney

#31
May 18, 2012, 08:21:46 AM
Quote from: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 08:15:48 AM
My son has fluid in his ears and I am going to have to pay a bunch to get tubes put in in a week :weep:

Awww.

QuoteMy second son is due in August and then I get to do the baby thing all over again.  I am having a hard time remembering what exactly happened last time...it is like I have parent amnesia.

I noticed it with my sister, and all her friends with 2nd kids:  the first one, you watch your step with every move, the hovering is virtually fascist when it comes to the child.  It's eggshells.
Once the 2nd one shows up, you're like, meh, no biggie.

Valmy

#32
May 18, 2012, 08:32:47 AM
It is definitely like that for the pregnancy.  Last time we obsessed about every step.  Now it is my wife just sorta whining about it and me commiserating rather than this big thing.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Barrister

#33
May 18, 2012, 08:36:34 AM
Totally the same here.

We were super-prepared last time around.  Now baby is due in one month and we're like "you know, we really need to get the baby's room ready"...
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Malthus

#34
May 18, 2012, 08:39:25 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on May 18, 2012, 08:21:46 AM
I noticed it with my sister, and all her friends with 2nd kids:  the first one, you watch your step with every move, the hovering is virtually fascist when it comes to the child.  It's eggshells.
Once the 2nd one shows up, you're like, meh, no biggie.

First kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :o "My god! The Germs! Throw this one in the trash or boil it right now!"

Second kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :unsure:"Let's wash it off real good and give it back - should be okay"

Third kid drops a pacifier on the ground:  :mellow: "Did it actually fall in shit? No? Then shove it right back in that gob"
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

Grey Fox

#35
May 18, 2012, 08:53:29 AM
I went thru this with the pacifier in 6 months.

They will put everything in their mouths anyway.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Valmy

#36
May 18, 2012, 08:55:31 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 18, 2012, 08:53:29 AM
I went thru this with the pacifier in 6 months.

They will put everything in their mouths anyway.

Yeah the main reason I give him a pacifier is to keep him from sticking rocks and plants and random things he finds on the floor in his mouth.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

11B4V

#37
May 18, 2012, 09:00:26 AM
Quote from: Malthus on May 18, 2012, 08:39:25 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on May 18, 2012, 08:21:46 AM
I noticed it with my sister, and all her friends with 2nd kids:  the first one, you watch your step with every move, the hovering is virtually fascist when it comes to the child.  It's eggshells.
Once the 2nd one shows up, you're like, meh, no biggie.

First kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :o "My god! The Germs! Throw this one in the trash or boil it right now!"

Second kid drops a pacifier on the ground:   :unsure:"Let's wash it off real good and give it back - should be okay"

Third kid drops a pacifier on the ground:  :mellow: "Did it actually fall in shit? No? Then shove it right back in that gob"

:lol:
"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

Josephus

#38
May 18, 2012, 09:13:23 AM
It's the same with pictures and videos.
My brother has like 1000 pictures of the first three months of his first kid's life.
You'd be hard pressed to find more than a handful for his second kid.
Civis Romanus Sum<br /><br />"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." Jack Layton 1950-2011

Valmy

#39
May 18, 2012, 09:13:54 AM
I was like how Malthus describes parents are with the third kid with my first kid after year 1  :blush:
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

merithyn

#40
May 18, 2012, 09:44:35 PM
Quote from: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 09:13:54 AM
I was like how Malthus describes parents are with the third kid with my first kid after year 1  :blush:

I was like that almost from the get-go with my "first". Twins will do that to a person.  <_<
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

merithyn

#41
May 18, 2012, 09:46:00 PM
Quote from: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 08:15:48 AM
My second son is due in August and then I get to do the baby thing all over again.  I am having a hard time remembering what exactly happened last time...it is like I have parent amnesia.

It's the only reason people have more than one kid. :contract:
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

Valmy

#42
May 18, 2012, 10:33:58 PM Last Edit: May 18, 2012, 10:41:25 PM by Valmy
Quote from: merithyn on May 18, 2012, 09:46:00 PM
It's the only reason people have more than one kid. :contract:

You bitter and burned out parents of teens do not belong in this thread :P

Of course when I am in your shoes you will be all like "my grandkids :wub:"  :lol:
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

merithyn

#43
May 18, 2012, 10:52:56 PM
Quote from: Valmy on May 18, 2012, 10:33:58 PM

You bitter and burned out parents of teens do not belong in this thread :P

Of course when I am in your shoes you will be all like "my grandkids :wub:"  :lol:

Grandkids :wub: :wub:
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

katmai

#44
May 18, 2012, 10:55:59 PM
Sure Meri you say that now, but when it is your sixteen year old daughter giving you grankids you won't be all so mushy.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son
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