Breastfeeding in public places

[merithyn]

I think children would remember being breastfed once in kindergarten.

Yeah, you would think so, but most kids really don't remember much before 5th grade. Bits and pieces here or there, but not anything of substance. Hell, my kids only vaguely remember that I was a stay-at-home mom until the eldest boys were eight. It's something they've been told, but not something they really remember.

Still influences and impacts his future relations with the opposite sex.

Look at Cal--breastfeeding was stopped too soon, and he hasn't been able to get massively obscene heifer fun-bags out of his fucking head since.  Just imagine what damage the opposite does.

What affect does it have on girl-children, then?

[Barrister]

I think I'm with Meri on this.  Seeing an older child breast-feed seems very odd, even freaky, to me.

But thinking about it logically I can't imagine why it would be a problem for the child.

[garbon]

Yeah, you would think so, but most kids really don't remember much before 5th grade. Bits and pieces here or there, but not anything of substance. Hell, my kids only vaguely remember that I was a stay-at-home mom until the eldest boys were eight. It's something they've been told, but not something they really remember.

Well I'm only 26 and I still remember actual bits and pieces from childhood. Of course, largely things are tales from re-telling but I'd say I do have somewhat distinct memories of events that were emotionally charged/very visual.

I don't see why something as strange as this wouldn't stick out in one's memory. Even if just the memory of speaking about it to someone at school and being humiliated.

[merithyn]

I think I'm with Meri on this.  Seeing an older child breast-feed seems very odd, even freaky, to me.

But thinking about it logically I can't imagine why it would be a problem for the child.

Yeah. It bothers me to see it - really bothers me - but I know that's a visceral response. Ultimately, it's none of my business since it's not likely to seriously damage the kid. Like a lot of parenting decisions I disagree with, I have to just ignore it.

[merithyn]

Well I'm only 26 and I still remember actual bits and pieces from childhood. Of course, largely things are tales from re-telling but I'd say I do have somewhat distinct memories of events that were emotionally charged/very visual.

Right: bits and pieces that are emotionally charged. Breastfeeding wouldn't be important enough, I don't imagine, for them to remember. It would be like remembering the color of your pacifier or what your coat and hat looked like. Everyday things really don't leave much of an impression on little kids, and even at five, breastfeeding would be an everyday thing.

I don't see why something as strange as this wouldn't stick out in one's memory. Even if just the memory of speaking about it to someone at school and being humiliated.

It's strange to us, but it wouldn't be to them. And while kids can be rough on other kids, the bullying stuff wouldn't kick in until around 2nd or 3rd grade, by which time the whole breastfeeding thing would be completely forgotten. It seems unlikely that anyone would remember it, mention it, and get humiliated by it.

It's the reaction of other parents that cause the humiliation, anyway, so if people just shut up and minded their own business, it would be a total non-issue. Yeah, we have issues with it, but is it really worth hurting a child because we disagree with what his or her parents' decided to do? The fact of the matter is that ultimately, the only ones who cause the problems are those who are offended. If they're really concerned for the kid, they'd be offended elsewhere.

[garbon]

I think we'll just have to agree to disagree.

[The Brain]

I think children would remember being breastfed once in kindergarten.

Yeah, you would think so, but most kids really don't remember much before 5th grade. Bits and pieces here or there, but not anything of substance. Hell, my kids only vaguely remember that I was a stay-at-home mom until the eldest boys were eight. It's something they've been told, but not something they really remember.

No offense but are your kids retards? FWIW I have normal memory volumes from I was 4 onwards, earlier than that it gets more spotty.

[CountDeMoney]

No offense but are your kids retards? FWIW I have normal memory volumes from I was 4 onwards, earlier than that it gets more spotty.

Yup.  4 is a good reference point; I can only recall one or two items before that, one of which was the day my baby sister came home from the hospital. 

[merithyn]

No offense but are your kids retards? FWIW I have normal memory volumes from I was 4 onwards, earlier than that it gets more spotty.

Even "normal memory volumes" for adults don't include the mundane. I don't remember a lot of the basic, everyday stuff that I did 10 years ago because they weren't memorable things. I have no idea what my dishes looked like then (they've changes several times since), what clothes I wore (except those in pictures), and even what color my hair was (like the dishes, it's changed several times since). They were everyday occurrences that didn't matter enough to bother remembering. Kids are the same, only more so.

What's been really interesting is that the elder two boys are starting to remember more of their childhoods now than they ever have. One will ask about some event we went to that before he'd completely forgotten. Another will talk about a person they'd known. It's like somehow the act of growing up has triggered those memories. A form of nostalgia, I guess.

My point is that if it's a normal thing to them - and no one makes a big deal about it - they're just not going to remember it as anything important, if they remember it at all.

[garbon]

It wouldn't necessarily be mundane though. One mention of it as a child to someone else and you've got built in trauma.

Besides, I threw in the visual as I still have vague visuals of what my pre-school looked like though I last visited the place when I was 4. Now I'm sure time and my immature vantage point have led me to a distorted memory of the place but the fact is that it still sits in my memory. Not sure it'd be too hard to have kept in a visual of sucking on a breast.

[Sheilbh]

But thinking about it logically I can't imagine why it would be a problem for the child.

They fuck you up your mum and dad.

[dps]

Whether the kid will remember still being breastfed at that age, and whether or not it's damaging isn't really the question in this particular case.  The issue in this case is putting the mother and child on the cover of a major newsmagazine.  Anybody really think that when the kid is in high school, some of his classmates aren't going to get ahold of that image and give him a really, really hard time about it?  Even if there's not already some emotional scarring before that, there'll be plenty then.

[HVC]

Whether the kid will remember still being breastfed at that age, and whether or not it's damaging isn't really the question in this particular case.  The issue in this case is putting the mother and child on the cover of a major newsmagazine.  Anybody really think that when the kid is in high school, some of his classmates aren't going to get ahold of that image and give him a really, really hard time about it?  Even if there's not already some emotional scarring before that, there'll be plenty then.

highschool? it probably started the day after the paper came out. All it takes is one parent to recongize the kid for all hell to break loose. Poor kid never had a chance

[Martinus]

I think children would remember being breastfed once in kindergarten.

Yeah, you would think so, but most kids really don't remember much before 5th grade. Bits and pieces here or there, but not anything of substance. Hell, my kids only vaguely remember that I was a stay-at-home mom until the eldest boys were eight. It's something they've been told, but not something they really remember.

No offense but are your kids retards? FWIW I have normal memory volumes from I was 4 onwards, earlier than that it gets more spotty.

Yeah, no kidding.

[merithyn]

Whether the kid will remember still being breastfed at that age, and whether or not it's damaging isn't really the question in this particular case.  The issue in this case is putting the mother and child on the cover of a major newsmagazine.  Anybody really think that when the kid is in high school, some of his classmates aren't going to get ahold of that image and give him a really, really hard time about it?  Even if there's not already some emotional scarring before that, there'll be plenty then.

Absolutely agree with this for older kids, but this kid is only 3. Not quite as extreme as a kindergartner.. or older. As an example - and I actually know this child; he's graduating from high school with my son - I offer an example of how this really does affect these kids: 8-year-old still breastfeeding

Kyle was pretty messed up for a long time. He's finally pulled himself together and is graduating with honors this year, but it was rough going. His mother is slightly insane - okay, more than slightly - and everyone in the schools knows her. She's run for the School Board, etc. Kyle is doing well despite his mom. Of course, this is pretty extreme (he was taken away from her for six months because of this, and I actually agree with that decision).

To this day, Kyle is still known as the Breastfeeding Kid. It's incredibly sad because he's such a good guy.