Football (Soccer) Thread

[The Larch]

Doing a quick review of the Man Utd squad after getting CR, they have the following forwards:

Cavani, Martial, Rashford, Greenwood, Sancho, Mata, Lingard, Elanga and Shoretire, plus now CR as well. Except for Elanga and Shoretire, that are newly promoted academy graduates, the rest are established first team players.

Quite the crowded situation there.

[FunkMonk]

I think Tottenham played a team in the conference league that had a railroad track running on the pitch 

*On the sidelines to be exact, not within the actual legal pitch

I think that was a joke, Tottenham only played the aforementioned Paços de Ferreira, and they don't have a train running through their pitch. They do have a horny beaver mascot that pretended to bugger the Tottenham mascot after they won at home 1 - 0. 



The ones that have the train through their pitch is an amateur Slovakian team called Tartan Cierny Balog. Quite picturesque, I must say.

This is amazing 

[Sheilbh]

Yeah. The Sanchez Protocol - from a Man United fan online

[FunkMonk]

Yeah. The Sanchez Protocol - from a Man United fan online

Score All The Goals while hoping Varane and Maguire make enough last ditch tackles that the opponent's goals don't matter?

[FunkMonk]

I'm convinced Arsenal FC is one big psychological experiment. Right now there's a professor leaning over a TV screen muttering into a headset 'increase the misery' while an underling with shaking hands presses a button crossing himself as he does it.

https://twitter.com/paul_c_watson/status/1431591790323412997?s=19

[Zoupa]

I for one am thoroughly enjoying Arsenal's season so far 

[Zoupa]

Although I disagree with the 2 red cards I saw today. Xhaka barely made contact and Chelsea's James' handball bounced off his leg first. How can he intentionally handball it afterwards...

Some strange decisions IMO.

[Sheilbh]

I for one am thoroughly enjoying Arsenal's season so far 

I cannot wait for All or Nothing: Arsenal

Hell, I'd watch a documentary about the board meeting where they decided that was a good idea

[FunkMonk]

I for one am thoroughly enjoying Arsenal's season so far 

ugh

[FunkMonk]

No Arsenal fan was surprised at the result today. The writing has been on the wall for a long time. Its just made it so bare that things I feel are starting to bubble over. At least in the 8-2 Arsenal ( exactly 10 years ago ) showed some fight and scored a couple goals

I can't see Arteta surviving this season. Even if he picks up some points in the short term he'll get the team into another funk and lose 5 straight or something and he'll be out. I honestly think the executive board have no idea what to do right now. They've hitched their wagon to Arteta's project and he supposedly has Wenger-like authority at the club. When he gets fired then management have to fill that gigantic hole. I'm convinced that they'll literally beg Wenger to come back as caretaker manager until the end of the season. In a normal club this would galvanize everyone at the club and Arsenal will storm into 5th place and Wenger will bequeath a patched-up project to his designated successor but this is Arsenal Football Club, so Arsene's rescue project will get relegated in the last game of the season 

Seriously though, after Arteta (and Edu) gets the sack they just need to find someone experienced and throw money at them, but I'm of the belief that the club had been so terribly managed for the last 5 or 6 years that only being bought by a petrostate/oligarch would save this club from eternal midtable mediocrity. Arsenal has actually become the meme.

[FunkMonk]

I for one am thoroughly enjoying Arsenal's season so far 

I cannot wait for All or Nothing: Arsenal

Hell, I'd watch a documentary about the board meeting where they decided that was a good idea

It will be literally the only good thing coming out of Arsenal this season.

The board gave Arteta a lot of power and it's been obvious for a while now he's in way over his head. He and Edu have created a team that can't attack, can't defend, and have no recognizable style except hoof it to Tierney who crosses it into an empty box. Squad building has been absurd. Arsenal played 3 at the back today, none of whom are Premier League-level and one who has actively tried to leave the club and who the club has been begging other teams to take. Another center half was sitting on the bench after Lukaku completely destroyed him last week. Yet Arsenal loaned a highly-rated William Saliba to Marseille for the season.

Granit Xhaka was horrid today but I don't actually blame him. He's been at Arsenal for a long time now and everyone knows his limitations. He's proven he's a decent player. He had a great season last year and was arguably Switzerland's best player at the Euros. But he needs a decent partner beside him. Leaving him as your lone holding midfielder is suicide because he inevitably tries too hard to cover too much space and hr ends up doing really stupid things, like going two-footed into a player. But this is what Arteta decided to do today against MANCHESTER CITY'S midfield 

I could go on and on but I'll stop here for now. Sorry about all that

[Sheilbh]

To be honest it's Edu's position I find weirdest.

With Arteta there was huge hype in coaching circles, lots of talk about him being Pep's natrual successor etc. So I get why the board goes for him (especially given the connection) and they don't want to get caught in the cycle of replacing managers every eighteen months (All or Nothing: Everton). I can see how they got here with Arteta even if they need to get rid.

But I don't really get how Edu ended up in such a strong position - or what else went on with other senior-ish people in Arsenal like Sanlehi. From the outside it just all seems very weird and difficult to understand.

[FunkMonk]

To be honest it's Edu's position I find weirdest.

With Arteta there was huge hype in coaching circles, lots of talk about him being Pep's natrual successor etc. So I get why the board goes for him (especially given the connection) and they don't want to get caught in the cycle of replacing managers every eighteen months (All or Nothing: Everton). I can see how they got here with Arteta even if they need to get rid.

But I don't really get how Edu ended up in such a strong position - or what else went on with other senior-ish people in Arsenal like Sanlehi. From the outside it just all seems very weird and difficult to understand.

I think he came in because he was buds with Sanllehi and they were hooked into the same agent network. He's learning on the job too. So the Kroenkes saw fit to have two novices helm the club during the most important transition in the club's history 

I actually think Arteta is a decent coach and will be a top manager one day. But a dysfunctional Arsenal as your first real job is too much for someone completely new to the job. They needed to bring in someone recognized and experienced. But that ship has sailed.

[Admiral Yi]

I knew it.  Richarlison is poison.

[celedhring]

To be honest it's Edu's position I find weirdest.

With Arteta there was huge hype in coaching circles, lots of talk about him being Pep's natrual successor etc. So I get why the board goes for him (especially given the connection) and they don't want to get caught in the cycle of replacing managers every eighteen months (All or Nothing: Everton). I can see how they got here with Arteta even if they need to get rid.

But I don't really get how Edu ended up in such a strong position - or what else went on with other senior-ish people in Arsenal like Sanlehi. From the outside it just all seems very weird and difficult to understand.

Ah, Raül Sanllehí. Because hiring anybody connected to Barça's transfer policy in the past 10 years is such a brilliant idea.