Football (Soccer) Thread

[Sheilbh]

Sheilbh 

Yeah. Stressful

I see sack the board is already trending, so straight into the next round of drama.

[Tamas]

Thanks to the (Newcastle own-)goal scored today, Chelsea has managed to score one more goal this season than Haaland.

[Sheilbh]

Also impressive season by Kane to have scored 30 league goals, given everything else about Spurs this season.

[FunkMonk]

Also impressive season by Kane to have scored 30 league goals, given everything else about Spurs this season.

Without him they are seriously screwed. Which is why I think Levy might ignore any offer below 100m for him. Even then, it's still virtually impossible to find a true replacement for him who would go to Spurs.

I love it and I think I deserve it 

[FunkMonk]

So to put a bit of a coda on this season in the PL for Arsenal, it was overall a very good season. Disappointment at the end of it, for sure, but that was only because the team had been more or less spectacular for like 60% of the season until injuries and tiredness hit the team badly. Perhaps more importantly, the atmosphere among the fans has turned completely around in just two seasons. A couple of years ago we finished 8th, then 5th, and now 2nd. That is quite a turnaround for a club that had been a complete dumpster fire after Wenger and then Emery were fired.

This was a special season and I loved it. Fun, flowing, attacking football to watch, some great wins and special moments (the last second Reiss Nelson goal!!!), a few lows and a little disappointment, but overall what a great year for Arsenal and their fans. Long may it continue.

The cherry on top of this special season was watching Tottenham and Chelsea become the laughing stocks of the league again, as they rightfully should be and where they belong. Long may that continue too. 

[Josquius]

Thought to watch the final but missed it. City roll on. Sigh. I guess at this point accelerationism is the best hope.

Incidentally. Serious question. Why does Erling Haaland look so weird? Can't put my finger on just what it is about him but he looks off.

[Sheilbh]

I think he looks like the bully in an 80s Hollywood high school movie, probably called something like Biff.

Shouldn't hold it against him, but here we are.

[Josquius]

West Ham as European champions.
Whatever next.

[Duque de Bragança]

I think he looks like the bully in an 80s Hollywood high school movie, probably called something like Biff.

Shouldn't hold it against him, but here we are.

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/football/erling-haaland-farting-man-city-29875434

Don't remember Biff farting but then it's not out of character.

Erling Haaland has no respect - he farted every time we approached him'
Erling Haaland appears to be not only a goal-scoring machine but also a budding master of the dark arts - as he was recently seen supposedly trumping to distract defenders

Manchester City goal ace Erling Haaland gives defenders the bum's rush – by farting.

The striker has banged in an incredible 50 goals already this season – but supporters reckon he has been playing a trump card. Footage appearing to show the star breaking wind as Bayern Munich's Leon Goretzka marks him during the Champions League quarter-final has gone viral.

The German midfielder could be seen puffing out his cheeks and holding his nose as he waited for a corner to be swung in. Grinning Haaland rubbed his stomach.

Some sports news websites quoted Goretzka as saying: "He has no respect for the opponent or football. He farted every time we approached him."

The video had fans in stitches. One wrote: "This explains the goals." "Extra propulsion for additional speed," said another.

A third joked: "Still has a lot to grow to get on Gary Lineker's level." While Haaland was renamed "Erling Fartland" by many on social media.




Haaland appeared to let rip next to Leon Goretzka
Erling Haaland rubbing stomach while Leon Goretka holds nose
The Man City goal machine rubbed his stomach while Goretzka held his nose
It looked like Haaland was explaining to Goretzka that he had a dodgy belly and wasn't stinking him out intentionally - but he has used other cheeky tactics to put off defenders.

During a recent appearance on Monday Night Football, Brentford's Ben Mee claimed he pinched him when they clashed earlier this season.

Erling Haaland of Manchester City inspects his injured thigh during the Premier League match between Manchester City and Aston Villa at Etihad Stadium on February 12, 2023
Haaland's trumping tactics look to be among an arsenal of dark arts he employs
"He is a powerful lad and we have had a little bit of a jostle," said Mee. "Obviously we are trying to be physical with him and use our body in and around the box to stop him from getting into any positions he wants to.

"Little pinches here and there between me and him. More from him to be fair, but I don't mind that, I quite like that."

[Josquius]

I love examples of weird out of their time things and I recently learned of the prior existence of the United Soccer Association.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Soccer_Association

A 1960s attempt at a football league in N. America, which in lieu of having actual teams, just imported foreign teams during the summer and renamed them to be North American.

Maybe I'm the only one to have never heard of this? Only recently came to my attention as Sunderland were part of it as the Vancouver Royal Canadians owned by a Brigadier General E.G. Eakins. Which...is amazingly old school.
Sunderland apparently saw the whole thing as a piss up
https://rokerreport.sbnation.com/2023/6/7/23750623/otd-7-june-1967-vancouver-royal-canadians-sunderland-4-1-dallas-tornado-dundee-utd

The league was won by the LA Wolves. Who were Wolves.
There were teams from a variety of places, oddly including footballing giants N.Ireland and Ireland.

[Sheilbh]

WTF is going on with ex-Saints players. There's Le Tissier in general - but now Rickie Lambert's posting Q Anon-ish videos and appearing on Le Tissier's podcast

[Gups]

Everton being sued by Leicester and others for FPP breaches

[Sheilbh]

Yeah I don't really understand how we're not in massive breach of the rules given how big our losses have been.

It's a general shitshow though (and has been for a few years).

[Josquius]

If they can't even get Everton then you know city and United are safe.

[Tamas]

As I understand they did get City they just decided not to punish them.