Florida Vampire to Run for President

[jimmy olsen]

With the stakes so high, it's imperative that we elect someone who can dominate that blood sucking legislative body we call the congress.

http://www.wtsp.com/news/mostpop/story.aspx?storyid=127365&provider=top

Florida vampire to run for president
Noah Pransky     1 day ago

TAMPA, Florida - Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C. to become the nation's first vampire president.

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he got to know online.  She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

PICTURES: Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey - Florida vampire running for president

"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station.  "It's good to be me."

Related: Runaway teen is skeleton in Vampire candidate's closet

"The Impaler" claims he's a direct descendent of Vlad II the Impaler, better known as Dracula.

He has scheduled a Monday press conference in Tampa to announce his plans to file paperwork to run for President of the United States in 2012.  He recently switched his party affiliation from Independent to Republican so he can run with the G.O.P.

He ran for Governor of Minnesota in 2006 and also had short-lived bids for U.S. Senate in 2000, U.S. President in 2004, and U.S. President in 2008.

In an extended interview with 10 Connects, Sharkey shared well-thought-out opinions on capital punishment, the abortion issue, and veterans issues.  However, he also bragged about having numerous teen-aged girlfriends in recent years.

The girls have also provided several skeletons in Sharkey's closet.

- He's accused of "brainwashing" a 16-year-old in Minnesota. The two were engaged until last month.  Her family now has a restraining order against Sharkey and claims his texts to her violate it.

- He reportedly admitted to harassing another 16-year-old Minnesota girl online in 2009.

- He was arrested in Tennessee several years ago for threatening George W. Bush and is currently on probation from Indiana after he was found guilty in 2009 of intimidating a judge.  He served six months in a Marion Co. jail before his release.  Sources confirm the Secret Service has had to keep him on its radar, since he moves around the country.

Sharkey was once on the Executive Committee of the Hillsborough Co. Republican Party (HCRP) in the 1990s, but A.J. Matthews, HCRP State Committeeman, says he didn't show any of the extreme behaviors he's exhibiting now.

"He does believe in Republican values," Matthews said.  "Is he going to make a big splash with his current identification of being a vampire? That's up to the voters to decide."

Matthews said he'd help Sharkey with campaign basics, just like he would any Republican candidate.  But he's been trying to advise him to focus on mainstream issues and away from the extreme behaviors.

Sharkey, meanwhile, continues to develop a movie on his campaign, "The True Impaler."   You can read about the campaign on his website, http://www.theimpalerformngovernor.us

[Razgovory]

The sunshine state is an odd place for a vampire.

[jimmy olsen]

The sunshine state is an odd place for a vampire.

Maybe he sparkles?

[The Brain]

RL vampires are ugly.

[Sahib]

RL vampires are ugly.

?

[The Brain]

RL vampires are ugly.

?

Not those, imbecile. Those are gorgeous.

[The Larch]

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he got to know online.  She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station.  "It's good to be me."

So he's like a goth Monkeybutt then.

[Ed Anger]

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he got to know online.  She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station.  "It's good to be me."

So he's like a goth Monkeybutt then.

[garbon]

2006 isn't a long time ago...

[BuddhaRhubarb]

heh. I think someone has leaked the plotline of season 3 of True Blood to the press.

[Jaron]

  What a great quote.