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The king is dead. Long live you

Started by Josquius, February 25, 2010, 02:28:33 PM

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Josquius

February 25, 2010, 02:28:33 PM
A wacky little what if here.
Lets say through some long and convoluted series of circumstances it somehow comes to pass that you are announced as supreme overlord of your country.
Supernatural forces are certainly at play, its not right that you should have such a position; hell no one should have such a position. Yet...somehow there you are.

There you are. Sitting on your throne as God-Emperor of the US/Canada/UK/Sweden/Austria/Poland/Hungary/China/whatever.
What would you do?
I don't mean along the lines of 'Order The Saturdays to my bed chambers immediately' or the like (though this will no doubt be done) but more how would you seek to improve your country and remake it in your image. Just what do you think the major problems are and how would you as a benevolent dictator solve them?
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Grey Fox

#1
February 25, 2010, 02:30:46 PM
Get Nukes, nuke Iran & NK out of existence.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Savonarola

#2
February 25, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Yakko : The bottom of the family tree
        Starts with Yakko; that is me.
        I'm the cousin to the sister
        Of son's niece's brother
        Of the uncle's daughter's father
        Of the nephew's sister's mother
        And my grandpa's only cousin
        Was the King's daughter's sibling,
        But they're all gone,
Crowd : So that is why
Yakko : I am now your king!
Crowd : He is now our king!
Yakko : Yes, I am now your king!
        Repeat what I just said!
Crowd : Repeat what I just said!
Yakko : And let the anvils ring!
In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace—and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock

DisturbedPervert

#3
February 25, 2010, 02:34:37 PM
I'd steal a few billion dollars and abdicate the throne

Alcibiades

#4
February 25, 2010, 02:39:46 PM
America first campaign.   :P
Wait...  What would you know about masculinity, you fucking faggot?  - Overly Autistic Neil


OTOH, if you think that a Jew actually IS poisoning the wells you should call the cops. IMHO.   - The Brain

Ed Anger

#5
February 25, 2010, 02:40:18 PM
Quote from: Savonarola on February 25, 2010, 02:32:30 PM
Yakko : The bottom of the family tree
        Starts with Yakko; that is me.
        I'm the cousin to the sister
        Of son's niece's brother
        Of the uncle's daughter's father
        Of the nephew's sister's mother
        And my grandpa's only cousin
        Was the King's daughter's sibling,
        But they're all gone,
Crowd : So that is why
Yakko : I am now your king!
Crowd : He is now our king!
Yakko : Yes, I am now your king!
        Repeat what I just said!
Crowd : Repeat what I just said!
Yakko : And let the anvils ring!


Dammit, I want to watch that now.  :mad:
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Savonarola

#6
February 25, 2010, 02:41:03 PM
Upon reflection I think I'd run it with the just and wise laws of Rufus T. Firefly:

These are the laws of my administration
No one's allowed to smoke
Or tell a dirty joke
And whistling is forbidden...
If chewing gum is chewed
The chewer is pursued.
And in the hoosegow hidden...
If any form of pleasure is exhibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited.
I'll put my foot down, so shall it be.
This is the land of the free.
The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it
If you think this country's bad off now
Just wait 'til I get through with it
The country's taxes must be fixed
And I know what to do with it
If you think you're paying too much now
Just wait 'til I get through with it...

I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair
I'm strictly on the up and up
So everyone beware
If anyone's caught taking graft
And I don't get my share
We stand 'em up against the wall
And pop goes the weasel.

If any man should come between her husband and his bride
We find out which one she prefers
By letting her decide
If she prefers the other man
The husband steps outside
We stand 'em up against the wall
And pop goes the weasel.  
In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace—and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock

The Brain

#7
February 25, 2010, 02:41:14 PM
Begin work on my massive tomb complex.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Brazen

#8
February 25, 2010, 03:38:30 PM
I'd overhaul the Civil Service red tape and the benefits system and put the tax savings to work making life a bit better for my citizens.

Neil

#9
February 25, 2010, 04:43:54 PM
Exactly what I'm doing now.
I do not hate you, nor do I love you, but you are made out of atoms which I can use for something else.

Ed Anger

#10
February 25, 2010, 04:46:58 PM
Poland would die in nuclear fire.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

DGuller

#11
February 25, 2010, 04:58:19 PM
If I were the God-Emperor of US, I wouldn't be able to change anything in US.  I'm a Democrat after all.

Grallon

#12
February 25, 2010, 05:02:50 PM
As US president - I'd deal with muslims, everywhere.

As Quebec's Leader - I'd deal with muslims in Quebec - and with all federalists.

In the famous words of Ghengis Khan: "I shall slaughter half the people if it's to make the other half obey".




G.
"Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty for everything it is and does will lack the energy and conviction to defend itself."

~Jean-François Revel

Barrister

#13
February 25, 2010, 05:06:32 PM
Balance the budget, largely by slashing all manner of subsidies.
Fire half, no, three quarters of the judges, and replace with people with spines.
Increase immigration rates, but forcibly deport illegal immigrants or false refugee claimaints within 24 hours.
Lower taxes.
Deregulate agriculrutal barriers, and internal trade barriers.
On the next Canada census, have census takers rate the attractiveness of women, with the top 00.1% sent to Canada's new capital, Whitehorse, to serve as my 'personal assistants'...
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Tamas

#14
February 25, 2010, 05:20:11 PM
I would go Pinochet on the country.

I would seek to succeed where all the would be reformer rulers failed during the last millenia: make their results stay after they are gone.

So I would take the country of 10 million socialists, and turn it into a liberal free market society. ASAP, so I would have enough time left to consolidate it and have people get used to it. 

Also, all fucking nazis would fucking hang.
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