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Tamas on the 'brink of ruin'

Started by PDH, April 03, 2009, 09:33:58 PM

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PDH

April 03, 2009, 09:33:58 PM Last Edit: April 05, 2009, 01:29:40 PM by PDH
QuoteTamas on the 'brink of ruin'
Posted: Friday, April 03, 2009 8:33 PM
Filed Under: On Assignment
Reporter's Notebook

By M Klinger, NBC News Correspondent

NEAR BUDAPEST – While researching a recent wargaming distress call, this reporter and his cameraman stopped at a small hovel to ask directions.  The owner of the house said that this was not a good place to stay, but being in the open we thought nothing of it.  Sure enough, as soon as the farmer and I turned our backs, the cameraman was placed on blocks, his hubcaps stolen likely to be sold at a nice profit on the black market.  "Gypsies" was all that the local said.

The Hungarians live out petty lives of despair, now that the international paprika market has collapsed.  Faced with mounting debt and an inability to comprehend numbers greater than seven, the average amount of fingers on their hands, these poor rural folk have turned to lynching foreigners and selling magical amulets "proof against the Turk" to passing Austrians.

Tamas, a local pigfucker and noted wargamer, explains the plight of the people this way.  "We are simple people, simple and stupid.  Also, kill the Gyppos."  One does not have to look deep under the words to see the true meaning - this is the land that somehow caught all the recessive genes at one time.

Still, there is hope on the horizon.  A recently strengthening Euro means that the long-cherished porn industry will soon see a rise, and the ancient Hungarian money-making scheme of swindling the Romanians seems as strong as ever.

However, it may be too late for the likes of Tamas, who recently has turned to worship of an obscure Canadian in hopes of divine blessing.  We are left with his haunting words "kill the gyppo."
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

-------
"I'm pretty sure my level of depression has nothing to do with how much of a fucking asshole you are."

-CdM

Tamas

#1
April 03, 2009, 09:37:34 PM
 :lol: You're a dick.

saskganesh

#2
April 03, 2009, 09:37:52 PM
praise Neil.
humans were created in their own image

PDH

#3
April 03, 2009, 09:39:32 PM
Quote from: Tamas on April 03, 2009, 09:37:34 PM
:lol: You're a dick.
I just post the news stories that I feel need posting.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

-------
"I'm pretty sure my level of depression has nothing to do with how much of a fucking asshole you are."

-CdM

Delirium

#4
April 04, 2009, 12:02:36 AM
Bravo! Excellent!
Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen, and keep your eyes wide the chance won't come again; but don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin, and there's no telling who that it's naming. For the loser now will be later to win, cause the times they are a-changin'. -- B Dylan

FunkMonk

#5
April 04, 2009, 12:08:56 AM
 :lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao:
Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.

Martinus

#6
April 04, 2009, 01:31:28 AM
 :lol:I liked your fairytales in TBR too. :D

Norgy

#7
April 04, 2009, 03:10:26 AM
I like the BBC using a more personal approach to news reporting. It makes me involved in the poor pigfucker, really.

The Brain

#8
April 04, 2009, 06:00:47 AM
Is he really a pigfucker though?
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

grumbler

#9
April 04, 2009, 06:49:22 AM
Quote from: The Brain on April 04, 2009, 06:00:47 AM
Is he really a pigfucker though?
No, he really fucks goats, but introduces them to his friends as "pigs" because goatfucking is considered to be lowbrow behavior in Hungary.
The future is all around us, waiting, in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.   -G'Kar

Bayraktar!

PDH

#10
April 05, 2009, 12:07:30 PM
Quote from: grumbler on April 04, 2009, 06:49:22 AM
Quote from: The Brain on April 04, 2009, 06:00:47 AM
Is he really a pigfucker though?
No, he really fucks goats, but introduces them to his friends as "pigs" because goatfucking is considered to be lowbrow behavior in Hungary.
I stand by my reporting.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

-------
"I'm pretty sure my level of depression has nothing to do with how much of a fucking asshole you are."

-CdM

Richard Hakluyt

#11
April 05, 2009, 12:14:08 PM
Nice to see that high-quality journalism is not wholly gone from this world  :cool:

Razgovory

#12
April 05, 2009, 12:37:46 PM
 :lol:
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

CountDeMoney

#13
April 05, 2009, 01:23:47 PM
Quote from: PDH on April 03, 2009, 09:33:58 PMnow that the international paprika market has collapsed. 

lol, good one

Caliga

#14
April 06, 2009, 06:47:07 AM
I worship Bee Bee as well. :)
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