Esquire: Vampires are gay

[Syt]

"Lost Boys"* (and even it was made by a big queer and was filled with homoeroticism).

Just because you thought Jason Patric was hot doesn't mean it was filled with homoeroticism, you douche.*


*Unless you mean any film with the Coreys counts as gay, then you'd be right.

Stand By Me, Bad News Bears and Goonies are decidedly not gay.

[garbon]

And so vampires have appeared to help America process its newfound acceptance of what so many once thought strange or abnormal. Adam and Steve who live on your corner with their adorable little son and run a bakery? The transgendered man who gave birth to a healthy baby? The teenage girl who wishes that all boys could be vampires? All part of the luscious and terrifying magic of today's sexual revolution. The political consequences are sweeping — Iowa's Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage is further proof of an old wise man's dictum that the United States invariably does the right thing, after first exhausting all the other alternatives — and the cultural impact is just beginning to be felt.

[Darth Wagtaros]

And so vampires have appeared to help America process its newfound acceptance of what so many once thought strange or abnormal. Adam and Steve who live on your corner with their adorable little son and run a bakery? The transgendered man who gave birth to a healthy baby? The teenage girl who wishes that all boys could be vampires? All part of the luscious and terrifying magic of today's sexual revolution. The political consequences are sweeping — Iowa's Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage is further proof of an old wise man's dictum that the United States invariably does the right thing, after first exhausting all the other alternatives — and the cultural impact is just beginning to be felt.

No shit.

[Syt]

The transgendered man who gave birth to a healthy baby? The teenage girl who wishes that all boys could be vampires?

On second thought that sounds like something very out of Transmetropolitan. I eagerly await cloned human meat to be stocked in my deli.

[The Larch]

That doesn't make sense for a while now, though, since vampires stopped being monsters ever since Ann Rice at least. They are now misunderstood outcasts/anti-heroes - last big vampire movie I remember seeing where vampires were showed as monsters was "Lost Boys"* (and even it was made by a big queer and was filled with homoeroticism).

30 Days of Night.  No fags mincing around in that one making snow angels.

What about John Carpenter's "Vampires"?

How does James Woods shooting spikes with a crossbow rank in the gay/hetero ranking?



And of course there's From Dusk Till Dawn.

[The Larch]

Just remembered, there's also Van Helsing, a deliciously corny hodgepodge of almost every monster movie you can imagine, and has Kate Beckingsale in a leather corset.

[Syt]

Just remembered, there's also Van Helsing, a deliciously corny hodgepodge of almost every monster movie you can imagine, and has Kate Beckingsale in a leather corset.

Hod, that movie was horrific. The b/w start was cool, but it kinda draaaaaagged and draaaaaagged ....

[Neil]

James Woods is king of the heteros.

Also, vampire movies symbolize the hatred that society feels for gay men, and the certainty that they can never become human and lead normal lives.

[Josquius]

I don't see vampires as gay. Except shitty Twilight ones of course.
That woman want to shag gays though is accepted knowledge.

[Grallon]

Here's a good reason to worship vampires.



G.
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[Neil]

Here's a good reason to worship vampires.

It's a young boy.  Why would something like that trigger the religious impulse?

[Grallon]

It's a young boy.  Why would something like that trigger the religious impulse?

I and others worship the Male Principle - which is as worthy an object of cult as any. 

I am very devout. 




G.

[DontSayBanana]

We've had this discussion.

Unfortunately for you Marty, you're so non-gay you're Renfield.

Not another enema!

[garbon]

It's a young boy.  Why would something like that trigger the religious impulse?

Grallon is delusional and speaks only for himself, pre-teen girls, and lonely and mentally disturbed middle aged men and women.

[Brazen]

I don't recall any major zombie movies during the 80s when Reagan/Bush were in office

Dude, seriously? The Evil Dead I and II, Day of the Dead, Pet Sematary and, at a stretch, Reanimator. Oh yeah, and the Thriller video