Florida senior PWNED by gang of coons

[Caliga]

 

Elderly Fla. woman hospitalized after 'gang attack' by raccoons

Sheriff's investigators in Florida are on the lookout for five raccoons who "gang attacked" an elderly woman this weekend and left her with serious injuries from bites all over her body, WTSP-TV reports.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd says the 74-year-old woman in Lakeland, Fla., suddenly was attacked when she tried to shoo the animals away from her front door.

"When she fell down, they enveloped her," said Judd, who warned the public to be alert to the aggressive raccoons. "She's literally bitten and scratched from face and the chest all the way down through the legs."

He said raccoons are known to be aggressive when going after food, but that he had never heard of a gang attack on an individual.

Watch WTSP's report below, which includes some amateur video of one pack of raccoons around one house.

[Malthus]

Thread title bait and switch! 

[Caliga]

Thread title bait and switch! 

What do you mean?

[Eddie Teach]

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coon   

[Caliga]

Dude I know 

[Eddie Teach]

What do you think the wink was for? 

[Caliga]

What do you think the wink was for? 

I am not good at interpreting body language.  LOL am I: autistic!

[The Brain]

They felled her and she couldn't get up?

[Eddie Teach]

Good thing she had Life Alert. 

[Slargos]

Transparent. An elderly woman being assaulted by a gang of mooncrickets would not be newsworthy. 

[Caliga]

Good thing she had Life Alert. 

"I've been attacked by a pack of rabid racoons AND I CAN'T GET UP!"

[Ed Anger]

What do you think the wink was for? 

I am not good at interpreting body language.  LOL am I: autistic!

Yuo have: Asparagus syndrome.

[Malthus]

Florida senior, hmmm.

Any relation to Anne Frank? 

[CountDeMoney]

Thread title bait and switch! 

No shit.
I thought Tim Tebow got jumped by some dazzling urbanites.

[Josquius]

A plane is flying over the Pacific Ocean and half of its engines blow out.
The pilot speaks over the speaker, "Sorry folks but it appears we've lost half our engines which means if we're going to reach safety we're going to have to lose half our weight, I've already got rid of the luggage but I'm afraid we're still going down, we're going to have to lose some passengers"
There's some grumbling amongst the passengers but before a riot breaks out the pilot speaks again
"Well, there's no good way to do this of course so I guess we should do it alphabetically.... So then, if there are any Africans on the plane could you please jump out"
In the back of the plane is a black man and his son, the boy says "Come on dad, that's us, we need to jump out!", the dad says "No son, its not us, we're staying here".
The pilot speaks again "OK...We need to get rid of some more so could all the blackies jump out of the plane"
The boy again speaks "Come on dad! That's me, I know it is! We need to leave", once again the dad tells him its not
And again the pilot speaks "Now then. Could all the coons please exit the plane"
"Come on dad! All the boys at school call me that, I know its us!"
The dad is getting very sick of his son's death wish by now and is hoping to just stay hidden so he is not forced to jump out of the plane so he snaps "No son, it's not. Today son; we are wogs"