Dan Brown sequel generator

[chipwich]

http://www.slate.com/id/2228327/

A long-forgotten labyrinth deep beneath the streets of Ottawa.
A murderous cult determined to protect it.
A white-knuckled race to uncover NAMBLA's darkest secret.

When celebrated Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is summoned to the National Gallery of Canada to analyze a mysterious ancient script—etched into the floor next to the mangled body of the head docent—he discovers evidence of the unthinkable: the resurgence of the ancient cult of the Lucinistas, a secret branch of NAMBLA that has surfaced from the shadows to carry out its legendary vendetta against its mortal enemy, the Vatican.

Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a messenger from the Lucinistas appears at the Canadian Supreme Court to deliver a macabre ultimatum: Deposit $1 billion in NAMBLA's off-shore bank accounts or the exclusive clothier of the Swiss Guards will be bankrupted. With the deadline fast approaching, Langdon joins forces with the pert and charming daughter of the murdered docent in a desperate bid to crack the code that will reveal the cult's secret plan.

Embarking on a frantic hunt, Langdon and his companion follow a 300-year-old trail through Ottawa's most historic statues and sacred buildings, pursued by a near-sighted assassin the cult has sent to thwart them. What they discover threatens to expose a conspiracy that goes all the way back to Allen Ginsberg and the very founding of NAMBLA.

[Valmy]

A mysterious cipher whose key is somewhere in Buenos Aires.
A nefarious cult determined to protect it.
A desperate race to uncover the Mounties' darkest secret.

Bloody Mounties

[Agelastus]

He includes Paris on the list but NOT LONDON!

[The Minsky Moment]

An obscure forum hidden deep in the bowels of the world wide web.
An eccentric cult determined to moderate it.
A lesiurely race to uncover languish's most repulsive secret.

When celebrated Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is requested to appear at a tenure review hearing to explain just exactly what the hell "symbology" is and why a Harvard trained professor has never heard of the word "semiotics," he unearths horrifying rumors of unimaginable verbal atrocities bruied deep in the beating eletronic heart of the internet: the twisted demented hordes of the Languishitas, an obscure sect of the History Channel that has covertly seized control of the electronic highways to carry out its brutal vengeance against the Byzanteens.

Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a Moderator from the Languishitas almost succeeds in luring the intrepid professor through the sinister streets of downtown Baltimore into an unspeakable underground chamber of S&M horrors.  It is then that Langdon learns of the Languishistas devious plans to corrupt Western culture by rewriting the entire corpus of American and European literature as furry fan fiction.  With the final editions far from release and the only clue as their whereabouts being the rumored location of another Moderator in the wilds of the Alaskan tundra, Langdon teams up with the perky if somewhat mentally challenged running mate of a failed fomer Presidential candidate in a incomprehensible effort to break the cipher that will reveal the cult's web hosting service.

Setting forth on a pointless and poorly plotted chase, Langdon and his MILFy companion follow a 300-day-old trail through internet's most historic threads and flame wars, trailed at every step by the horrifying nemeses the cult has pitted against him: a relentless Crown Prosecutor with impossibly pleated clothing; a cancerous New England youth armed with limitless news feeds; a shreiking gay Pole driven insane by overexposure to ECJ competition opinions; and God Himself, come down from his Albertan mountaintop . What Langdon and his chipper ex-gov uncover could blow the lid on secret plot that dates back to the original launch of the first Ican Torpedo Boat and the very founding of the Octagon.

[MadBurgerMaker]

A mysterious cipher whose key is somewhere in Boston.
A nefarious cult determined to protect it.
A frantic race to uncover Major League Baseball's darkest secret.

[Valmy]

An obscure forum hidden deep in the bowels of the world wide web.
An eccentric cult determined to moderate it.
A lesiurely race to uncover languish's most repulsive secret.

When celebrated Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is requested to appear at a tenure review hearing to explain just exactly what the hell "symbology" is and why a Harvard trained professor has never heard of the word "semiotics," he unearths horrifying rumors of unimaginable verbal atrocities bruied deep in the beating eletronic heart of the internet: the twisted demented hordes of the Languishitas, an obscure sect of the History Channel that has covertly seized control of the electronic highways to carry out its brutal vengeance against the Byzanteens.

Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a Moderator from the Languishitas almost succeeds in luring the intrepid professor through the sinister streets of downtown Baltimore into an unspeakable underground chamber of S&M horrors.  It is then that Langdon learns of the Languishistas devious plans to corrupt Western culture by rewriting the entire corpus of American and European literature as furry fan fiction.  With the final editions far from release and the only clue as their whereabouts being the rumored location of another Moderator in the wilds of the Alaskan tundra, Langdon teams up with the perky if somewhat mentally challenged running mate of a failed fomer Presidential candidate in a incomprehensible effort to break the cipher that will reveal the cult's web hosting service.

Setting forth on a pointless and poorly plotted chase, Langdon and his MILFy companion follow a 300-day-old trail through internet's most historic threads and flame wars, trailed at every step by the horrifying nemeses the cult has pitted against him: a relentless Crown Prosecutor with impossibly pleated clothing; a cancerous New England youth armed with limitless news feeds; a shreiking gay Pole driven insane by overexposure to ECJ competition opinions; and God Himself, come down from his Albertan mountaintop . What Langdon and his chipper ex-gov uncover could blow the lid on secret plot that dates back to the original launch of the first Ican Torpedo Boat and the very founding of the Octagon.

[Gambrinus]

@Joan 

[Agelastus]

 

Good god - a sighting of Incan Torpedo Boats! Now that IS history.

[Martinus]

 

[lustindarkness]

An obscure forum hidden deep in the bowels of the world wide web.
An eccentric cult determined to moderate it.
A lesiurely race to uncover languish's most repulsive secret.

When celebrated Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is requested to appear at a tenure review hearing to explain just exactly what the hell "symbology" is and why a Harvard trained professor has never heard of the word "semiotics," he unearths horrifying rumors of unimaginable verbal atrocities bruied deep in the beating eletronic heart of the internet: the twisted demented hordes of the Languishitas, an obscure sect of the History Channel that has covertly seized control of the electronic highways to carry out its brutal vengeance against the Byzanteens.

Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a Moderator from the Languishitas almost succeeds in luring the intrepid professor through the sinister streets of downtown Baltimore into an unspeakable underground chamber of S&M horrors.  It is then that Langdon learns of the Languishistas devious plans to corrupt Western culture by rewriting the entire corpus of American and European literature as furry fan fiction.  With the final editions far from release and the only clue as their whereabouts being the rumored location of another Moderator in the wilds of the Alaskan tundra, Langdon teams up with the perky if somewhat mentally challenged running mate of a failed fomer Presidential candidate in a incomprehensible effort to break the cipher that will reveal the cult's web hosting service.

Setting forth on a pointless and poorly plotted chase, Langdon and his MILFy companion follow a 300-day-old trail through internet's most historic threads and flame wars, trailed at every step by the horrifying nemeses the cult has pitted against him: a relentless Crown Prosecutor with impossibly pleated clothing; a cancerous New England youth armed with limitless news feeds; a shreiking gay Pole driven insane by overexposure to ECJ competition opinions; and God Himself, come down from his Albertan mountaintop . What Langdon and his chipper ex-gov uncover could blow the lid on secret plot that dates back to the original launch of the first Ican Torpedo Boat and the very founding of the Octagon.

You win the thread.

[Crazy_Ivan80]

excellent way to start the day.

Great work joan.

[Pedrito]

 

TMM's post should be stickied.

L.

[Brazen]

 :lmfao:Revive POTM just for this, please 

[Alatriste]

to explain just exactly what the hell "symbology" is and why a Harvard trained professor has never heard of the word "semiotics,"

Hope no one puts himself at an immediate disadvantage before the final fight...

[Fireblade]

SPOILER ALERT: Jaron carries the "Holy Blood".

He is the last descendant of Constantine I.