The Fall of Languish a (heavily modded) Rimworld AAR

[The Brain]

I died as I lived, lurking about in the background.

It is kind of nice there is this unseen presence lurking over all of our discussions here on Languish.

He's the only one who isn't a Jaron sockpuppet. This entire forum is just Jaron entertaining davearcher with his wacky characters.

I for one enjoy the warm feeling of Jaron's hand inside me.

[Razgovory]

At the beginning of the year we sent out another expedition and really hit the jackpot drugs wise.  There was so much stuff we couldn't hall it all back, so we sent Madburgermaker and Sbr to bring up some more muffalos.  A Muffalo is some sort of sheep/bison hybrid that's good for hauling stuff.  On the way to the site were we found all of that medication Madburgermaker and Sbr were ambushed.  It wasn't much of ambush, just one guy and he just nicked a golden sculpture that was lying around and fled.  A bigger problem was that we couldn't figure out how to leave the area (there was some sort of mod bug that caused an inability to leave an encounter map.  I had to use the developers tools to get the characters to leave the map).  But in the end we got the loot and most people came back okay.  Okayish. 

History was made though by Perdito for constructing a shelf.  I wouldn't have thought that paticualrly interesting so I'm guess it was a very, very, very nice shelf.



We developed another pest problem, giant spiders tunneled into our base again.  This is like the third time that has happened.  We tried the overheating trick again and this timed it worked.  It took a while, and we had to build a bunch of tables to fuel the fire, but we didn't suffer any casualties.  It did kill all the plants in our hydroponics area but, at least nobody lit themselves on fire.



After the bug attacked we got a message there was a prison camp to the south of us.  I thought we might find von Molke there so Mongers set up an expedition to rescue him.  No sooner had Mongers left than we were attacked buy a bunch of medieval jerks.



The crazy bastards ran right into right into a wall of automatic fire.  We killed many, captured one, and the rest fled.  Unfortunately one of them killed Valmy, or more precisely a camel killed Valmy.  The damn thing tore her head off, which wasn't something I thought camels could do.



Mongers expedition did not go well.  In fact I thought we were going to lose everyone.  The bad guys, well the guys who we were fighting, were well armed.  Frunk bravely took a bullet for Barrister and His Majesty Bob was shot through the heart by a pistol.





Only Katmai, Mongers and Martinass were unharmed in the fight.  That lurker guy, Gaius, blundered into a robotic turret and quickly bled out. He was the best shot we had. The camp guard got it worse though, the woman who killed Frunk had both of her eyes shot out.



Katmai was really the man of the hour here, he managed to patch the survivors up.  We did sort of accomplish our mission, the guards died and or ran away and some of the prisoners escaped.  They escaped as far as an automatic turret.  I think a few of them might have made it out.  Von Moltke was not among them.  Gaius had our best weapon, a salvaged laser rifle.  Unfortunately the laser lit the prison on fire so if there was anyone left in the prison they burned as well.  The laser rifle also caught on fire and was lost.  Oh, and Gaius' and Frunk's corpses burned up as well.  Mongers cried out for attention and slit her own wrists.  That wasn't particularly concerning, but she also blundered into that turret (Larch finally destroyed that damn thing).  Because she was being an ass we couldn't work on him until fell unconscious from blood loss.  We had only three hours to stop the bleeding before he died, but Katami pulled it off!.



We did get some loot from our ill-fated rescue mission, we found a bunch of survival meals and an arcade machine made out of Uranium.  The arcade machine was too big to take home, but we got a bunch of food.

Meanwhile back at Languish one of our oil wells had a leak and threatened our water supply.  Oex went down there to fix it, but didn't know how to clean it up.  So she lit it on fire.



Long story short, there is not longer an oil leak.  An tax collector arrived at Languish, and Leip payed him an enormous amount of gold.  And we sold two prisoners as slaves.  Nobody is particularly proud of that, but it was for a good cause.  Leip is now a count!  That may be our ticket out of here.  You see, a count can invight the stellarch to visit and if the stellarch is impressed enough he'll give us a space ship to get us out of this shit hole.

Now this doesn't really make sense, I've seen space ships land and take people off the planet and I've sold large amounts of corn to travelling space ships.  Why we can't just pay a space ship to take us away I don't know.  But that's life in 2020.

[Valmy]

Man I will stay away from camels from now on.

[grumbler]

Man I will stay away from camels from now on.

The game is a prophecy.  You have received your warning.

Thanks Raz, for writing all this.  It's hilarious.

[The Brain]

  Very nice.

[Valmy]

Man I will stay away from camels from now on.

The game is a prophecy.  You have received your warning.

Thanks Raz, for writing all this.  It's hilarious.

I just never realized they were so dangerous 

[Zoupa]

What about: me?

[Oexmelin]

It's true. I set fire to all things I do not understand.

[Razgovory]

It's true. I set fire to all things I do not understand.

It game me a warning that there was an oil spill but when I tried to click on it the only option was "Ignite".  Since this is mod stuff, there's not much documentation so I just went with "ignite".  The explosion destroyed the two oil derricks, but you survived.

[Razgovory]

What about: me?

You are an old mathematician.  Really useful with research.

[Tonitrus]

I am just hanging around looking cool in my duster...never doing anything of note. 

[Caliga]

A bit terrified of Cal the female surgeon.

Do I have big tits?

[celedhring]

I seem to be living a pleasantly quiet life, never getting into trouble.

[frunk]

Not a bad way to go.

[Razgovory]

Black Hives Matter:

In spring we were attacked by the Black Hive.  The Black Hive is a modified version of the giant bugs that keep digging into our base.  The normal bugs are only capable of attacking in melee, while the Black Hive has a ranged attack.  They also don't dig into our base, they just appear at the edge of the map and charge.  This should make them easier to fight, unfortunately they spawned from the north, something that I did not expect.  See, when building our nuclear reactor we decided to build it very far away the living quarters.  That seemed like a good idea at time, but we discovered that  it meant it was hard to protect.  We did lock the outside door to the reactor, and that has been a fairly successful policy so far, but there is a fear that it might be insufficient.  Another problem is that the reactor is cooled by water from the river and heat exchange thingy has to be outside.  If the water intake mechanism or the coolant pipes are destroyed then that might overheat the reactor.  So when an army of giant insects spawned next to coolant thingy, the possibility of a reactor meltdown was sort of on everyone's minds.  Well everyone except Duque.  They spawned right next to him and so he didn't have much time to think about the reactor.



The battle didn't go very well.  The Black Hive attack was repulsed, but the monsters killed Duque, Jacob, Neil, Arvoreen,and Otto.  Also, our infirmary got really dirty.



Because we were busy fighting for a our lives, or keeping people from bleeding to death, we didn't have time to serve dinner.  Barrister Boy became a bit peckish and decided the best way to express her dissatisfaction was to dig up old threads to remind people what they posted ten years ago.   No, wait, that's what I would have done.  Barrister decided to dig up a corpse and put it on the dining room table.  Message received, you creepy fuck.  You didn't eat supper.  We get it.  We will prioritize supper in the future. 



Leip got an order from on high.  Build a big monument.  That wasn't very difficult, but we also need to protect the damn thing.  Failing to do so when incur a terrible price.



But there are worse horrors than giant insects and Leip's displeasure.



You saw it, you can't unsee it!

In light of losses we suffered at the hands of giant insectoids, we came up with some new defense measures.  First we would dig some trenches, next we built really, really big gun.  We also decided to create our own race of giant bugs.  We do have a genetics laboratory, so we might as well use it.  This wasn't very successful.  One of our creations couldn't even breath.  We tried to mix the genes of a giant insect with that of a boomalope.  Boomalopes are grazing animals that produce gasoline in their bodies.  If you kill one, it explodes. We wanted to make some sort of kamkaze bug, but the monster we created was simply too cowardly to rush the enemy.  We did cross an insectoid with a Muffalo, but nobody remembers why.

We thought we might use genes from a giant spider that throws acidic webs at people and combine it with a boomalope.  This giant spider is not related to other giant spiders we were fighting.  We had hopped mix it with the genes of a boomalope so that it would shoot flaming webs.  That might have worked, but we lost the extracted genetics material.  I think someone might have eaten it.  CdM was badly injured fighting the web throwing spiders and almost died because Cal wouldn't get his ass out of bed to treat him.  Also, some insane giant bees attacked Buddha and Viking.  Still, everyone survived.



We are still operating on the plan to impress the Stellarch so will let us leave this star system, but that requires a great deal of gold.  We have a mineral finding machine to lead us a gold deposit, but those are fairly far away.  So we've sent out mining expeditions.  I want Syt to go on these, because she's my best miner.  Otto was the best miner but Otto is dead.  Unfortunately Syt was Duque's fiancee and is taking the his death rather poorly.



Hopefully, she gets her shit together pretty soon.  We've been sending out BB but she end up trying to clean the sand. 



Otherwise, the mining expeditions have gone well.

We were attacked by some of the more those medieval guys, but they didn't last very long.  We have a giant gun!



Sometimes strange things happen at the Languish colony.  Well, most of the times strange things happen.  Still, having a giant scorpion falling out of the sky into the river is fairly strange by even our standards.



We cared for the Scorpion and nursed it back to health.  The idea was to train it so we would have an unstoppable killing machine, but alas that didn't happen.  As soon as it felt better the damn thing ate two chickens and left.  We had more important concerns than an ungrateful scorpion.  A solar floor occurred and  knocked out all of our electricity.  The reactor went down, and it took a long time for us to figure out how to turn it back on. To turn it back on, we needed electricity, but since it was the source of our electricity we weren't sure how to get it back on.  Eventually we set up a back-up generator and different power grid to boot the reactor and the coolant system back on line.  Dguller and Buddha received a dose of radiation but it doesn't seem to have been a problem.  If the rest of Dguller's hair falls out, well, that's why.

Oh, and now I have a wife.  She just showed up, wandered around, and then left.  Like every other woman in my life.



Things are starting to settle down here, Katmai is on a drinking binge, Syt is desperately seeking attention, and Celehring is out shitting in our fields.  So all-in-all, it's a good day.

*END COMMUNICATION*